Here's my offering. Not very much an article, but as soon as I got this in my head, my muse wouldn't let me write anything else.
Also, I have it on good authority that this is exactly how technology progressed with early man.
Ode to Technological Advancement
I wandered 'round a forest
Looking for food to eat.
I saw there on the branches
Delicious fruit upon a tree.
Alas I was too short,
And stood there longingly.
Soon an idea struck
When a fallen branch I did see.
I lifted it on high,
Swinging wildly.
And soon the fruit did fall
Down to hungry me.
I gazed upon the apple
Anticipating the feast.
When suddenly that dick Joe
Came 'round to talk to me.
"I see you have an apple."
Said Joe through his clenched teeth.
He pushed me down and took it,
And swaggered off grinningly.
Angry was I at how unfair
That Joe should be so strong.
I wanted to release my anger,
For vengeance I did long.
Not long there did I lay
'Fore spying rocks of shiny grey.
I struck one against its brother
And of new ideas, I had another.
Quickly to work I went.
Shaping stone with ill intent.
When I had finished its sharp edge
To my stick's end it then was wedged.
Soon then did Joe I find
And put my stick to his behind.
I then sat and did unwind
And on my apple I nearly dined.
But Joe recovered and stood up,
and pulled my stick from out his butt.
I got up and ran as best I could
With an angry Joe in hot pursuit.
In a cave I then did hide
Whilst joe searched high and wide.
I sat there through the night
Pondering how to win this fight.
Finally my brain did crack
This riddle whose answer I sorely lacked.
I labored then to produce
A device to deliver me upon its use.
To the riverside I then did run.
Hearing Joe, my trap I sprung!
To the wind was caution flung
And I laughed as I fired my Tommy gun.
Now I know I should've looked 'ere I did leap
As I stood there gawking upon the river's bank.
Then I'd have thought earlier what I did now think.
"Where the flip did he get a tank!?"
Once more did Joe seize my precious fruit.
And left me there among the river-plants' tender shoots.
My mind however was hardly done,
For soon another idea had sprung.
I gathered the plants and ground them to pulp.
I spread them then and dried them up.
Saddened was I to use this weapon of last resort;
'Twas paper, with which I sued Joe's ass in court.
The legal battle hardly went my way,
For when I tried to show exhibit A
The judge suddenly stopped licking his lips
Sat up and said, "You mean that was evidence?"
With the suit now pointless with the apple gone,
I found myself thinking, and it wasn't long
'fore I thought of something to fill the time.
So I gathered some things and started to mine.
Silicon, iron, copper, oil, and gold
I dug and I dug for these things I would need.
I put them together and lo and behold
I had my new creation, my very own PC.
It wasn't long before others wanted one too.
So I made it a business, which took off and flew.
I sold them to everyone, even sold one to Joe
And it wasn't long before I'd invented the first MMO.
I logged on and I quested and earned some XP.
Then I did it again, and again with much glee.
Soon I thought that I should form me a party;
I needed a tank, a warrior most hearty.
So I checked out the pubs, the taverns, and alleys
Seeking a grunt, a meat shield, a pally!
Finally I found one who with monsters can go toe to toe.
We got to talking, and turns out that it's Joe!
We settled our differences, we buried the hatchet.
Then went on a quest to kill a dragon named Patches.
We finished that task and then did another,
Then wandered about to seek random encounters.
We had not adventured for very long,
And I foresaw nothing that could go wrong.
When suddenly the game did say to me,
"You doth see an apple in yonder tree."
The End
All characters and events are works of fiction, any similarities to any persons living or dead are merely coincidence.
