"Nice guy" alarm clocks. Feh.

[12AX7]

   So where the hell are the alarm clocks that will WAKE YOU UP; instead of gently peeping an unobtrusive reminder that you probably might want to think about getting up sometime soon? I don't need a clock that's nice, gentle, and thoughtful. I want one with a foot and leg on it; to kick my dead ass out of the bed, "GET THE FUCK UP! It's THAT time! NOW, MOTHERFUCKER! I SAID  GET *kick*the *kick* FUCK UP!!! *kick kick kick*
   I used to have an alarm clock that I had attached wires to the speaker posts on the circuit board, and ran them out the back and put Sta-con blade connectors on them. The I made a cable with the matching Sta-cons on one end, and a 1/4" phone plug on the other to plug into a guitar amplifier. I would turn the alarm on, then the amp, and go to sleep; confident that when THAT fucker went off; it nearly blew me outta the bed.

   An amusing anecdote; once I was lying on the couch, playing my guitar along with a cassette tape (which was on 'loop play'; meaning it played one side, then the other, then the first, then the other, until you hit "Stop") thru an amplifier right beside the couch. (NOT the amp hooked to the alarm clock). I was jammin kinda loud, too.  Anyway, I played myself to sleep. Yep. The pot and alcohol probably had some effect, too, heh, but I went sound asleep; with my guitar strap ON. The tape played on, and at some point the guitar slid off of me and the couch halfway (strap held it up) and just happened to be facing the (still on and loud) amplifier; starting a horrible feedback squeal. I dunno how long I was out of it with all that going on, but at 6:15 am, something woke me up. Groggy, I sat up and tried to figure out thru the noise Whisky Tango Foxtrot was going on. Turned the amp off; then the tape, then I heard the alarm clock going off FULL BLAST thru its own amp. I jumped up to run in there and turn it off; as I did, I figured out what woke me up. Someone was POUNDING on the front door. "What the hell?" I thought. "It's 6:15 in the morning...."   I opened the door to a Greenville County Sheriff's Deputy with a totally bewildered and incredulous expression on his face.
    "WHAT      IN      THE HELL...." he trailed off, staring at me like I had three heads.
   "Sorry. That was my alarm clock."
    "Well. Are YOU AWAKE NOW?? Cause the WHOLE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS!!!" 
   "Y-y-yesssir, I am, Im sorry about that."
 He went away shortly afterward, but THAT is the sort of alarm clock I need. This one I have now...   just.."Haha!"

[Wunderkind]

I'm required to have an alarm clock that can be set to go of at two times. It also has to be across the room so I have to crawl out of bed and stumble across my heinous mess of a living space to shut it off... twice.

I can't say volume has ever affected an alarm clock's efectiveness with me. Someone once blew one of those handheld fog horns in my ear and I didn't even twitch. The trick for me is it can't have a time limit... like the ones that will stop beeping after ten minutes... no, the little MF'er needs to beep until kingdom come. Eventually the repitition will annoy me into getting up and shutting it off.

[12AX7]

   HAHA! "me too"  This one I have now is done in about two minutes. The one I had equipped with the guitar amp went on until you turned it off. I came home from my two week annual training with the National Guard to find the clock still blasting. The amp was off, though (since I was gone for two weeks), so it didn't bother anyone. I heard it and started smiling when I was unlocking the front door, lol. This happened on many occasions, but the two weeks was the longest; and most impressive.

[Probie]

I would really like an alarm clock that blasted walking on sunshine at me. Then i would never wake up in a bad mood.

I do often put my alarm clock on the other side of the room though, that's a good technique.my 'snooze' functionality is ten minutes. My record is hitting the snooze button 10 times.

[12AX7]

I would really like an alarm clock that blasted walking on sunshine at me. Then i would never wake up in a bad mood.

  Timer+stereo+cassette tape cued. I tried that once too. 

[Novice]

When my ex would spend the night, I would always convince her to use the Star Trek Enterprise theme song as an alarm. Money.

[pbsaurus]

I haven't used an alarm clock for the past 34 months.

[TeraHammer]

Use a mobile phone with customisable alarms. - Its good.
Or use a really dull talk show as radio alarm. Remarkably enough it does get your brains going and wakes you up.

[Wunderkind]

Use a mobile phone with customisable alarms. - Its good.
Or use a really dull talk show as radio alarm. Remarkably enough it does get your brains going and wakes you up.

My cell phone does a decent job, but I've tried the talk show thing and... um... I never woke up. I slept right through untilthey started playing music again. I'm never doing that again, ever.

[sociald1077]

Use a mobile phone with customisable alarms. - Its good.
Or use a really dull talk show as radio alarm. Remarkably enough it does get your brains going and wakes you up.

I use a talk show to wake up, but its not dull. BJ Shea likes to yell alot and get really worked up.

Local broadcast ftw!

[phyre]

I've been using a regular alarm clock tuned to my NPR station (I like Morning Edition), then just turned up too loud for me to ignore. It still takes a few (sometimes 10) minutes for me to wake up, but it's not stuff I want to turn off, so I generally don't snooze much.

[angela14]

The primary use of alarm clocks is to awaken people from their sleep in order to start their days in the mornings, but can also be used for short naps; they are sometimes used for other reminders as well.




_________________
Home security systems 

[12AX7]

The primary use of alarm clocks is to awaken people from their sleep in order to start their days in the mornings, but can also be used for short naps; they are sometimes used for other reminders as well.  

  No, no, no. Not that kind of alarm clock.

[ivan]

Good sense, innocence, crippling mankind. Dead kings, many things I can't define. Occasions, persuasions clutter your mind. Incense and peppermints -- the color of time.

Who cares what games we choose? Little to win, but nothing to lose.

Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns. Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around.

Look at yourself.

To divide this cock-eyed world in two, throw your pride to one side -- it's the least you can do. Beatniks and politics -- nothing is new. A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view.

Who cares what games we choose? Little to win, but nothing to lose.


Ya, that'll wake you RIGHT up.

[BizB]

COCK LOL