TEH SPARKALIE VAMPIREZ: A LUV STORY OMG
so like this one time there were these two guys but the weren't really guys at all but VAMPRIES!! but nobody new because they stayed young all the time due to there vigerous moistereyezer routine each night. Every night when they woke up they each took a few pumps from johnson and johnson and afterwards they would then apply their moisturaizer.
one day they met this girl who is totally not the author self inserting herself into this in order to fulfill her sad pathetic phantasies and she said "OMG PLEASE TREAT ME LIEK CRAP AND STUFF BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ALL GOOD MORMON WOMEN LOVE" and they told her "we're gay lol" and she said "no u" and then the two fagpires held hands and floo off into the night with sparklez trailing from their asses.
THE END
So, when can I expect my Hot Topic merchandising deal?