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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 32903 times)

snyperx

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Joke of the day
« Reply #150 on: April 07, 2003, 09:16:45 AM »
Go Judge!  I shall now return to my ignornace and my gas guzzling SUV.
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"Ohhh! That is almost sig quote material.... almost!" - The Judge

Min

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Joke of the day
« Reply #151 on: April 07, 2003, 12:35:31 PM »
Quote from: rotgut
The punchline is that hydraulics and "bollocks" rhyme, while having different meanings!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.  Hydraulics...High bullocks.  I get it now.  Kinda funny, thanks for clearing that up.  I woulda never guessed "bullocks".

We should play a "hey-guess-what-my-cryptic-punchline means" game.   :lol:

Personally, I don't know why everyone in this thread has to be so frigging negetive.  It's supposed to be a joke thread, for Pepe sake.
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Flammable : Inflammable :: Duh : No Duh
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Dark Shade

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Joke of the day
« Reply #152 on: April 07, 2003, 11:20:26 PM »
Quote from: Detta
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.  Hydraulics...High bullocks.  I get it now.  Kinda funny, thanks for clearing that up.  I woulda never guessed "bullocks".


[sarcasm] Oh God...that is just SO friggin' funny...I'm rolling in my chair... :roll: [/sarcasm]

Quote from: Detta
We should play a "hey-guess-what-my-cryptic-punchline means" game.   :lol:


I agree. Try THIS one on for size:

What's the difference between Mike Meyers and Rotgut?

A : One's a famous comedian, and the other's a ************************************************. If anyone get's that, you win a Bozo button and a cardboard cookie. If anything else, assume it's something NICE, and PEACEFUL. I meant the above dots to be meaningless crap, which is all I've recieved from Rotgut, whom I have nothing against, it's just his jokes that blow.
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snyperx

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Joke of the day
« Reply #153 on: April 08, 2003, 09:36:23 AM »
A pineapple... that's the answer, right?
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TerrorDronze

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Joke of the day
« Reply #154 on: April 08, 2003, 09:38:33 AM »
humor impaired brittanian?
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Wait, so the might-be-a-bot isn't dead?!

Dark Shade

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Joke of the day
« Reply #155 on: April 08, 2003, 06:43:02 PM »
Quote from: TerrorDronze
humor impaired brittanian?


Nope, not quite. There are 48 dots there...try and fill 'em all.  :P
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snyperx

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« Reply #156 on: April 08, 2003, 06:46:53 PM »
Humor impaired, apple eating, doodie eating man.


That is 48 characters, I counted it in word.  HAH!
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Dark Shade

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Joke of the day
« Reply #157 on: April 08, 2003, 08:52:10 PM »
Quote from: snyperx
Humor impaired, apple eating, doodie eating man.


That is 48 characters, I counted it in word.  HAH!


Correct, Snyper. You win the Bozo Button and the cardboard cookie, as promised. Just don't fight over it with somebody else... :P
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snyperx

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Joke of the day
« Reply #158 on: April 09, 2003, 09:20:52 AM »
Booya baby.
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"Ohhh! That is almost sig quote material.... almost!" - The Judge

rotgut

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Joke of the day
« Reply #159 on: April 27, 2003, 08:35:56 AM »
Sorry to see the jokes seem to have dryed up at the moment - any one got any?, I seem to have virtually exhausted my supply, but here's just something for you all to consider:-

If a schoolteacher is cross-eyed, would it necessarily mean he did not have any control over his pupils?!

( oops, sorry Judge, please forgive me for slipping that one in! )
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I'm back - hopefully for good this time !

MISTER MASSACRE

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Joke of the day
« Reply #160 on: April 27, 2003, 11:01:38 AM »
You know, the majority of your jokes may suck, but I am very impressed with your persistence.
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Unleashed

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Joke of the day
« Reply #161 on: May 02, 2003, 02:10:47 AM »
Buttercups
Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit
his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow
buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just
about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . .POOF!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She
said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to
make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for
your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact,
you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
THEN POOF!....she was gone.

After Dave got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend
Fred. "Fred, where are you?" Fred yells back, "I'm over here,
in the pussywillows." Dave yells back......DON'T SWING
FRED!!!" "For God sake, DON'T SWING!!"
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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

PeyoteCoyote

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Joke of the day
« Reply #162 on: May 03, 2003, 09:40:54 AM »
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Frank.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank.

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered. Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
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