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  • (October 29, 2012, 03:37:30 AM)
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01 Dec 2016 - Trump's First 100 Days

I don't know who did this, but whoever did deserves a cookie.
I don't know who did this

Unless you've been living under a rock these past several days, Donald Trump has won enough electoral votes in the United States to secure the office of President starting in January of 2017. Obviously this has rubbed some people the wrong way. Pretty much every campus in the United States is up in arms about Hill-dawg loosing and people have taken to the streets in protest, claiming that Donald Trump is bad for the country and the world... ironically all while they are destroying their very own communities in some cases.

I hate to sound cliche but at this point what's done is what's done. It's an absolute shame that it came down to those two. In almost every election Americans seem to think that they are forced to pick between the lesser of two evils and this election it was even more evident that ever before.

Trump has an ambitious first 100 days all planned out once he officially takes office on January 20th. In fact, I checked his website and I figured I'd share some of the more outrageous "ideas" he's hoping to implement with the help of the House and the Senate.

Banning the Use of the Phrase 'Trump Card'

Trump said he is going to require all tax payers to indicate how many times they used the phrase "trump card" within that tax year and charge them a tax accordingly based on the number of times it was used. He's tried of it being used as a pun towards him and wants it to stop right away. His economists claim this alone will generate nearly $1.3 billion in extra cash flow to the federal government during the first 2 years of his presidency.

Mandatory Spray Tans for All

This is actually pretty brilliant. Trump says that he is going to ditch Obamacare and use some of the money that the government would have spent administrating the program to provide spray tans for all 360 million Americans regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, religion, age, nationality, or political affiliation. He estimates that by doing this he will create upwards of 100,000 jobs in the spray tan industry, which was a once struggling industry after MTV stopped airing Jersey Shore.

Debate Course for All College Students

And no, he's not going to make college free. But within the first 100 days in office Trump wants to make sure that each and every college student gets a chance to take a debate course that he and his campaign staff have put together curricula for. Glancing through the proposed learning outcomes, Trump says that his hopes are that each student will graduate knowing how to debate someone to get what they want: interrupt them after each sentence they speak, answer a completely different question than that was asked, and effectively talk with your hands. He says that young adults these days don't really know how to effectively debate which is evident during the post-election protests and riots taking place.

Immigrant Wives

Trump was able to get Anna Kournikova to endorse his plans to revive the mail order bride industry
Trump was able to get Anna Kournikova to endorse his plans to revive the mail order bride industry

In an effort to fix relations with foreign countries (Mainly Russia) Trump says that he is going to re-kindle the old Russian Mail Order Bride business. He said that with today's technology and the US Dollar becoming strong once again, it will only allow the service to take off and provide hope for many young Russian women. He will enlist the help of Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder and CEO of eHarmony to get the service off the ground. He did mention that a serious system of checks and balances need to be in place to assure that no Russians who have links to terrorist organizations are allowed in. Some of these immigrant women will be allowed to work in the spray tan industry once they arrive.

Casinos in Every City

Everyone puts the name "Trump" with Casino. They go together like tuna fish and lamb. If you've been to Atlantic City in the last 10 years or so, it's no secret that the city is doing rather poorly. Many casinos have since closed their doors and if you walk one or two blocks off the main strip after sundown you're most likely going to get mugged. Trump's idea to revitalize this once booming industry is to make casinos more common in the United States. It's next to impossible for a new casino to open up in an urban area because of all the red tape associate with opening up a new one. He's going to work to get rid of a lot of that red tape and bring the minimum age down to 16, citing that young kids need to learn what bad choices are at an early age rather than having to wait until they're 21 to realize that gambling is a huge waste of money.

Those were just some of the things he's planning on doing during the first 100 days that he's in office. Based on the above, I think it's a solid game plan and I think he's going to have a great 4 years ahead of him for the simple fact that he's going to save the spray tan industry.

My sources tell me this is Thin Lizzy, who claim the boys are back in town.
My sources tell me this is Thin Lizzy, who claim the boys are back in town.

It's been a very, very long time since I've done anything with any of my web-based stuff. True, I've gotten a lot older (Read: wiser) since I was introduced to the internet at the ripe old age of just 14 and some things that were once important to me just aren't even on my radar anymore. If you're reading this and you're 14 or 15 (Do they even teach kids how to read these days?) this concept might not make sense to you now, but give it another 10/15 years and you will have that magical "ah-ha!" moment when you look back and ask yourself "How did I ever once give two shits about that shit?"

I'll admit, web development was one of those things that kind of went by the wayside. I had (and still have) tons of other stuff going on in my life that really trump (No pun-intended!) developing new web content, not to mention staying on top of the endless software patches that are needed to operate a website/server. Within the last week or so, I have since migrated all of my web content to a much cheaper host and have fixed up the forums so they are now working once again. It's my intention to stay on top of this shit since I am at a much more stable point in my life now than I was over the last several years.

So if you're reading this now and wonder what the hell I'm talking about - I'll give you some background. I registered this domain name back in early 2001 and developed it into what was then known as an E/N website - Everything and Nothing. They were old school "blogs" that weren't run by whiney wine-guzzling-hippies like today's blogs. They were run by down to Earth chill people who just wanted a little slice of the web to their own. And I was one of those people. Back around 2008/2009 I simply had too much stuff going on in my life and could not really afford to dedicate any time to my side projects anymore. Sadly, I just kind of let the place die off. The software/content management systems started to break since they were neglected and that was pretty much the end of it.

That being said, let me bring you up to speed on a few things that attributed to me not having time between 2009 and 2016 to devote myself to my web-ventures.

Work and College

Combined these two things took up the bulk of my time. Looking back at my course load in college and how much I worked, I honestly don't know how I did it. I always took a full course load, and I usually found myself to be working between 60 and 70 hours a week in the restaurant industry as a general manager. So here we are in 2016 and I can now confirm this is a rare thing these days - you know, to work full time and go to college full time. I will say, Bernie Sanders was the closest thing everyone has had to not having to endure juggling work and college courses at the same time. Unless of course you have rich parents who buy you everything. Don't worry though, if you're one of those special snowflakes it might seem awesome to you now and you might try and rub it in your friend's faces, but give it enough time... they are doing you a disservice and you will one day realize this. Let that sink in now.

Lifting Shit

This is kind of what happens when you tear a pec. This is also kind of not me.
This is kind of what happens when you tear a pec. This is also kind of not me.

I'm pretty much the text book definition of a geek. But the one part I do stray from the norm when it comes to traditional geeks is that I like to lift. And I'm not talking about just showing up to the gym for a few minutes to get a few sets in and then leave just so I can tell myself I went to the gym that day. No. I'm talking about power lifting at the competitive level. It might have started out as me just going to the gym for the sake of going to the gym but then some time in 2009/2010 I got into power lifting thanks to a guy I met in college who convinced me to start switching up the way I lifted. I competed about 8 times and placed 6 times out of those 8. In 2015 it was going to be the first time I would compete in the 220lb weight class but I tore my left pectoral 5 days prior to the competition. Surprisingly it did not hurt as much as one would think. I tell people it felt like someone took a bendy straw and pulled it apart so the accordion piece was stretched out. For those of you who MUST have numbers: I was able to squat 450, bench 380, and dead lift 500 right before the injury. I'm still on the road to recovery today.

Life

Last but not least... I've been busy living life. You know, finding the right woman of my dreams, finding a house to move in to, all that fun stuff. So now that I have all of that stuff out of the way, I can not afford to spend a little more time doing side projects such as this. Besides, this is way cheaper than some other hobbies or things I could be doing with my free time. If money ever gets tight, I guess I could always go on Craigslist and find a part time or full time protesting job in my nearby city.

I realize it's a long road ahead for me to get this place kind of running again. I'll work on getting some of my older content migrated over, as well as get the color scheme and theme locked down. I'll try to keep BS posts like this down to a minimum. After all, this was always intended to be a spot for biased and unbalanced news.

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It's 2016 and there's a social media platform for just about everything you can think of. There are even dating websites for just about every niche you can think of - AKA Gluten Free Singles. But what's not clear is how to navigate through all of the major platforms that are out there. Is it still cool to use MySpace? What about Facebook? Will my parents and family be able to see all the stuff I post on Facebook? What about Instagram? Is it alright to post selfies 8 times a day on Instagram? Can I send nudes with Snapchat? Do they really disappear after a few seconds or are they actually stored someplace?

Your typical cliche saying. #Typical
Your typical cliche saying. #Typical #NoTimeForDrama #LiveLaughLove

The truth is a lot of teens and young adults have discovered that they can fabricate a false persona through their social media accounts. Remember back in the late 90s and early 2000s when internet forums were kind of a big thing and everyone could be a doctor or nuclear engineer? Well now you have 20-somethings who seem like they are on vacation all year round based on the pictures they post on Facebook, they're all high powered finance executives at companies no one has ever heard thanks to LinkedIn, and they have at least 2 BMWs and a Ferrari according to their Instagram. #OMGwhogivesafuck

If you're new to this game, have no fear, I'm going to give you some tips that you can use on each platform in order to boost your ego all while making your friends and people you're connected with feel worse about their poor insignificant existence. Be careful using all of these tips though: you may inadvertently start a one up war in which your friends and connections will start to passively aggressively post comments that may or may not be directed towards you as well as as cliche pictures with captions like "I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR NO DRAMA" or "Live Laugh Love". (Tip for all you guys out there in the online dating scene - if her profile reads: 'if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best' this means RUN the other way. No seriously. Don't. Even. Bother.)

MySpace

Let's start with the social media platform that really started it all: MySpace. There might have been other smaller sites like it at the same time, but they didn't take off like MySpace did. But it only had its reign for a few short years before Facebook stole its thunder by allowing even non-college students to sign up for its services. So how do you go about leveraging MySpace today for your own personal gain? Well, to be honest... there's really no way to do it since it's more or less dead. If you're old enough and have an old MySpace account, you can go back into your account and maybe change around your old profile pictures to make it look like you were someone else growing up.

Maybe that's how you leverage it! You replace some of your older pictures with pictures of someone who almost looks like you but isn't. Make sure they look handicapped this way you can claim that you beat all odds to walk again even though all of the doctors you saw since the day you were born said you would never walk. Due to your condition.

Also be sure to only have pictures of only one parent this way people will think that you were only raised by a single father or a single mother only helping to perpetrate the fact that you had overwhelming odds to overcome to amount to anything.

Facebook

This is it. This is your time to shine! The most popular social media platform on the planet! You probably already have an account set up, but the question is how to you use it to lie about who you really are?

The first step is to pretty much delete every "basic" picture of you. And by basic I mean pictures of you from a family gathering or perhaps a family holiday party. Let's face it, those are pretty dull and boring. Have you ever looked at someone family Christmas pictures and thought to yourself, "My god, it looks like they were having the time of their lives in this picture!"? Exactly - no one has ever thought this. So delete them.

Your goal is to leverage Facebook in such a way that your friends think you are always living on the edge and are always having the time of your life. Find some random pictures of a tropical setting from doing a few obscure Google Image searches and pass them off as your own and caption each one with a great description like "Can't wait to go back to my safe place next year!" or "Until next year Fiji!" this way your friends really start to believe that you take vacations every other month.

On vacation in Fiji. Can't wait to go back #HomeSweetHome
On vacation in Fiji. Can't wait to go back #HomeSweetHome

Here are some things you should try to post more pictures of in order to make yourself seem more interesting: tattoos, red solo cups, cars that aren't even yours, dogs, mirrors, guns, Starbucks cups, new shoes, a picture of yourself in a car while in the driver's seat holding an open bottle of alcohol, a gym selfie of you flexing with your big 11 inch biceps, group pictures from a bachelor or bachelorette party, any picture of you where you look completely trashed from a night of partying, the aftermath of a party in your parent's house, pictures from the cheapest seats in the stadium because you have no money because you spent it all on drugs and/or alcohol, your plate of food from Olive Garden with a clever hashtag in the description, and a picture of yourself from when you were younger to show how much you've grown up.

Let's not forget to use Facebook to serve as your political podium to let the entire world know about your opinions on certain politics. And it's alright to flip-flop your views in the span of just 24 hours. People won't remember what your thoughts were yesterday so it's fine to lean democrat one day and then republican the next if you think your party might not win the presidential race. Think of it like front runners in sports - you need to root for whoever is winning this way you're always part of a winning team.

Instagram

Instagram is like Facebook, but minus some of the annoying words and sentences and stuff. The upside of Instagram - or affectionately known as just "IG" by some - is that it's just pic...

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