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Author Topic: Internet.txt  (Read 56785 times)

Demosthenes

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #75 on: July 14, 2009, 01:06:20 PM »

That HAS to be sarcasm.  Where did you get that?
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #76 on: July 14, 2009, 02:06:05 PM »

That HAS to be sarcasm.  Where did you get that?

I'm pretty sure it was a troll. If he didn't mention Clinton, it would have been more believable. Can't remember if it was SA or PoE or FreeRepublic. If it was FreeRepublic, then it's probably legit.
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12AX7

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #77 on: July 23, 2009, 08:48:02 PM »

Quote
This is a good ship but... So many weaknesses anyway.

Why can't we get some more information on more high tech stuff going on?

For example it's pretty weird to not believe a flying disc (ufo) is real when magnets do exist.

Why not put more research into flying + magnetism and magnetism + dark matter..

If humans can make stuff, they could also probably make a ufo shaped with it's own energy source ( being magnetism) Mixed with all the other factors u would get a kind of shipment, shouldent be so hard really.

this magnet technology is something we seriously should focus on.. I mean all our old scripts got picture of a flying disc etc... So my guess is that we know about the magnet technology, but we fail to use it? With todays computer technology it's actually doable to fly around with the ufo's.

Might also be that the magnets on this world was alot stronger and more kind of a energy source for humans then it is today. Or maybe we are just ignoring it...

But im against all this fuel burning away etc, there must find billions of other ways if people just start to use some of theyr intellect on a smart encounter rather then something that is interesting and will take years to stabilize.

Rather do some more research on what options there is to travel in space and tell me how my magnet ufo thingy will work with the dark matter. Gotta have some high tech computers to calculate how to travel the safest route to andromeda galaxy etc, universe gps for everyone..

Guess we are getting closer, not proud of the human way at all..

Count me in for a space ride when they release some kind of magnet ufo, i really don't see any safer way to play with nature
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12AX7

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #78 on: July 23, 2009, 11:51:42 PM »

Quote
Madlander...  you are obviously either a complete fool, or care absolutely nothing about the "fairer sex". If you WERE a man, you would understand that your partner needs to be satisfied also, and the easiest and most pleasant way to achieve this is to find and stimulate the G-spot. Since you don't have any sort of a clue, perhaps you should stay with the sheep. At least, they won't tell your husband you are a jerk.
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #79 on: July 28, 2009, 10:27:53 AM »

Quote
I know this is a predominantly Christian forum, and I know that many people don't share my views on sexuality within marriage, but bear with me for a moment.... About two years ago, my wife (a Catholic) and I had a pretty bland sex life. We'd tried toys, erotic movies, the whole lot, and while our sex wasn't terrible, it lacked the enthusiasm of our first few years of marriage.

Anyway, after a particularly raucous grill-off with some long time friends, my stomach was shot. The next day, I went to answer nature's call and happened to leave the bathroom door open while I was 'laying down some chunnel work,' and my wife walked by. I heard her pause, take a few heady whiffs of my bold, escaping inner atmosphere, and before I knew it she was straddling me! Apparently the odor set her off, but for me, it was the act of both penetrating and evacuating, or, at the moment of my eventual (and very satisfying!) ejaculation, evacuating and filling.... Ever since, it's been a weekly ritual for her to 'pretend' to walk in on me and spend the next few hours being spun around like a fecal desiring top Hopefully this answers your question, and again, I totally understand if your religion makes this an impossibility - just don't dismiss it out of hand.
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Chris

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #80 on: July 30, 2009, 09:51:47 PM »

Ok, that's sick. Why are you reading these forums to begin with? What are you, some kind of freak or something?  :roll:
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #81 on: August 07, 2009, 09:26:37 AM »

Quote
First off, just let me say I work my darn rear end off on the phones supporting net service tech customers to save up for Outback Night. It's something me and Mother have enjoyed together for years now. If I take a woman out to The OSH I go in assuming it's accepted that there is an expected protocol for a female accompaniment to an establishment such as Outback. A half eaten strang bean dish with special fried crispers added to the fun mix smoldered like disrespectful embers before my face for a good 20 minutes before we were served our entree. I sat seething. My bowl of Walkabout SoupĀ® of the Day served as empty solace! An act tantamount to razing a people's crops only with more impudence. Images of Dachau flashed in my mind as she incessantly babbled on of a nursing degree. 'Aussie-Tizers to Share' do not grow on trees, and I could have won an Ebay auction for a hella sick + rare Transformer earlier that week so obviously on edge as it was. After consummation of the sex act later that night she had the gall to call me back to bed to "cuddle" as I got up to bleach and air dry the sheets. Let's writhe together in our own fluids and filth like a giant strand of 1000x slugs (one big rear end strand of intermixing intertwined slugs in a bed) in cum. That's Sexy.  Having second thoughts about attending Mass with her this Sunday. How do I let her know?
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #82 on: August 13, 2009, 08:04:43 PM »

Quote
So I was pooping today and I had something red in my poop that had me a little worried. I didn't know if it was blood or something I ate, like red peppers or tomatoes. I asked my girlfriend to look at because I wanted a second opinion and she flat out said no, and she was serious.

Now, whatever, maybe she doesn't want to. But, she plans on going to nursing school and I am sure she will see stuff much worse in addition to cleaning poop off the elderly and what not.

It bothers me that she does not care about my well-being enough to at least check it out. Maybe it is a trust thing. I want to marry her, but how can I spend the rest of my life with someone who is afraid of my poop? Not to mention taking care of a baby...
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BizB

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #83 on: August 13, 2009, 08:57:14 PM »

So, I guess a Cleveland Steamer is out of the question, then?
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #84 on: August 13, 2009, 09:09:31 PM »

What about a blumpkin?
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #85 on: August 14, 2009, 03:21:01 PM »

Dirty Sanchez too.

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #86 on: August 14, 2009, 03:28:16 PM »

Teh Geekery: Urban Dictionary without definitions.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #87 on: September 11, 2009, 09:53:45 AM »

Quote
Come to think of it I've never really had an intelligent conversation with someone... relationships just aren't my thing (21 years and I've only been on one date which was a sympathy date from a lesbian). And as far as friendships go I usually only talk about Videogames and Rock Music.

I know this was one of you. 'Fess up.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #88 on: September 17, 2009, 01:17:41 PM »

Quote
Did you ever wonder why after each victory of John McCain in the primaries the media serves the same images of a few dozen people "cheering"?
The answer: McCain is supported by as many people as George W. Bush, i.e. 1 pct of the population. He did not manage to ever break the 1,000 barrier for an audience, including the large share of paid campaign personnel.

Why did the Illuminati stage the 2008 US elections as John McCain losing to Hillary Clinton, supported by less than 5 pct of the population, after staging the "close as it can get" victory of Clinton against the "hope of change for America", supported by 80 pct of the "voters", "black" "ex-Muslim" Obama (1)?

Why did the Illuminati openly tell the sheep in 2006 some of the truth about 9/11, e.g. that the WTC towers were demolished? (2)

Answer: Illuminati Religion B-Plan and the ultimate border
The start point to answer both questions is one and the same.
The main objective of having 1 pct McCain as the candidate losing to 5 pct Clinton is not to cover-up the fact that the Bush administration is supported by less than 1 pct of the population.
It is to prove the Illuminati Religion B-Plan to be correct, i.e. that the Illuminati can reach perfection, which means total deception and total control of the sheep.

The ultimate border for total control is defined by the Illuminati telling to the sheep all the basics about how completely they were fooled.
In other words, telling to the sheep EXACTLY what Matt Marriott explained to them during the last 10 years. (3)

Reductionism again and again
The BIG LIE Technique becomes redundant (4), after the formal acceptance of the "human cattle" to carry the mark on their forehead and on their right hand, i.e. in thoughts and deeds, in 2004.
The Reduction of the BIG LIE Technique: End Times Reductionism again and again. (5)

Notes
(1) Obama now on 10 victories in a row.... before he will be repeating the New York and California script in Texas and Ohio, i.e. asking for applause for Clinton's voting machines and her next "victories".
Don't blame Obama's Muslim grandmother, digging for potable water from a hole in the ground each day, for his "defeat", where "each vote counts". After all she did not cast her vote into the voting machines...
Every time I see something online that just boggles the mind in its stupidity, I'm posting it here. Feel free to do the same.

Your Found Haikus

asking for applause
for Clinton's voting machines
and her next "victories".

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #89 on: September 17, 2009, 01:53:39 PM »

Ok, that's pretty cool.
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12AX7

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #90 on: October 05, 2009, 06:16:40 AM »

T-Shirt review on Amazon.com. The shirt has 3 wolves howling at the moon on the front.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=741xbqUYR3Q#noexternalembed
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #91 on: October 20, 2009, 03:02:15 PM »

Quote
The Male:

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

The Female:

Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #92 on: October 20, 2009, 04:10:43 PM »

Well, then.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #93 on: October 20, 2009, 04:12:31 PM »


tl; dr.

xolik, you're finds are always really good but really long. *humph*
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #94 on: October 20, 2009, 05:23:46 PM »

tl; dr.

xolik, you're finds are always really good but really long. *humph*

tl:dr version: How to jerk off a dolphin if it's a guy, and how to do the "dophin phuck" if it's not.

I suppose it would be pointless to post about how I got banned from SeaWorld at this point...
« Last Edit: October 20, 2009, 05:32:49 PM by xolik »
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Joe Sixpack

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #95 on: October 20, 2009, 08:08:23 PM »

Dad, what's a blowhole for?
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #96 on: November 02, 2009, 06:57:56 AM »

Ikickhardcoreass (2 days ago)   0    Reply | Spam
most of my religeon is bullshet your right but its not all bullshet. most is just pagan myth. stories barrowed from older versions. but it teaches principals and morals. Which is why out of the many non susccessful,pot heads, jealous, greedy bastards i stand out. By many im considered unique. im smart ,humane, understanding,loving,and friendly. i respect all even you. because as i have potencial so do you. All im saying is most of religeon is fake but its not all bad.this is my last reply. sorry for spamming you with so much. you have pist me off. i cant bear to stand the weak minded. please use more wise and humane judgement. show the cons and pros. and overall try to respect. or else youll be treated with disrespect. Most god belivers are ignorant of science and history. but not all. most athiests are very smart. but again not all. just use better judgement in the future.One needs to cherish life. of course you wouldnt know that because your to much of an ignorent person to see the other ones perspectives. i have agreed with you. athiests have many good principals. but so does my beliefs. both have flaws and aswell as good things. accept your flaws and learn to respect others. next time when you try to insult me and use knowledge use the dam internet your using it right now. dont defend yourself with fake bullcrap
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #97 on: November 02, 2009, 01:04:35 PM »

Such wisdom on the internet.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #98 on: November 20, 2009, 08:50:58 PM »

Quote
It also seems helpful to point out that everyone is born an atheist.

Quote
Babies are infamous for being terrible philosophers.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #99 on: December 03, 2009, 06:33:05 PM »

Quote
"I was in the locker room and several other boys were getting undressed to shower. I'm not gay but my dick was under a confundus charm.
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