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  • (October 29, 2012, 03:37:30 AM)
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31 Jan 2003 - Ab Belts Are Cool

Ever since starting this web site and sitting in front of the computer for countless hours, I have gained a lot of weight from doing nothing but typing and eating bon bons infront of this "box" which I do not know what it does anymore. It really didn't bother me much. It didn't bother me until the summer came a long and I had this huge spare tire from all of the fat in those bon bons.

http://www.gotthegeek.com/products/abforce.jpg" alt="" border="0">
In fact, Ab Force isn't even in the form of a belt!
I needed to do something fast, I needed something that worked fast. I tried those pills that claim to be banned by the Government since they turn you into a bean poll the first time that you use them, but they didn't work. It may be because I am too fat and those pills only work for people who are mildly fat. Then I found the Ab Force. I thought to myself, "Hey, those guys using them look pretty buff on TV, why not give it a try?" So I called the 1800 number that I got in one of their emails and had one ordered to my house via fax machine.

There was one problem. I was too fat. the belt would not fit around my fat stomach. This of course pissed me of at first since I had just shelled them 50 bucks of my hard earned money that I made from home for something that didn't work. Later that night I had the brilliant idea to go out to my Corvette that I got off of Freebies.com and cut off one of the seatbelts and tie it to the Ab Force to make the belt itself longer. IT WORKED! After nights of sleeping with it on, being in front of the computer with it, even in the shower \(Did I mention that it is water proof?!\), I got a six pack of abs that I have always wanted!


They're Amazing!

I'm sure you've seen those fantastic electronic ab belt infomercials on TV. They're amazing! They're the latest craze to sweep the country and everybody wants one. The thing is they're expensive selling for up to $120 each. That's why we developed the Abforce that you can buy two right now for just $20. That's right, you can own the amazing Abforce for the unbelievable price of as low as JUST $10 each during this nationwide promotion

AbForce uses the same powerful technology as those expensive ab belts sold through infomercials Supplies only guaranteed to last until March 31, 2002

Limited Time Offer! Demand for the Abforce is so overwhelming that there is a strict limit of 3 orders per address during this promotion. Supplies are limited, so please order quickly to assure delivery. Now you can enjoy a great quality Ab Belt and save a lot of money too!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW!
Or Call Toll Free 1-888-***-9944

Limited Time Offer! Demand for the Abforce is so overwhelming that there is a strict limit of 3 orders per address during this promotion. Supplies are limited, so please order quickly to assure delivery. Now you can enjoy a great quality Ab Belt and save a lot of money too!


I was so pleased with the Ab Force that I wanted to by more for my fat Wife, my fat daughter, my fat son, and my fat dog, but they would only let my buy 3 this time around, so I had to settle for just the humans of the family.

The Ab Force truly is great since you don't have to do a damn thing, you can just sit on you ass all day and watch it do all the work for you. Only if working from home was this easy! Thanks to all of those places that gave my email address out, I now have a 6 pack set of abs that I have always wanted since I was 8-years-old!
Have you ever wondered what the other members of your family do on the computer when you're not there looking over their shoulder at what they are doing? I know, we all have at some point in our time using these machines. And sometimes the feeling of being left out from the fun can be almost devistating. At one point, I couldn't take the fact that I did not know what my daughter was doing online, that I kicked her cat out the second floor balcony and broke its leg. That's when my wife told me that something had to be done about my problem. We tried everything, special breathing methods, stupid patches that were supposed to work, even a carbord computer which was the biggest waste of money ever. I thought I was doomed, until one day I found this little piece of gold laughing at me in my inbox. It truly was a life saver, or in this case, A CAT SAVER!


Is HE cheating on you? Is SHE cheating on you?
- Read all of your email, chats, instant messages
- Works with AOL, Yahoo, MSN and all email programs

Sherlock Knows is like having a camera in your computer taking pictures and recording everything that goes on your computer

[URL deleted for obvious reasons]

When you need to know Sherlock Knows!

It's simple and easy to use. Sherlock Knows downloads and installs in minutes and works with Windows 98, ME, 2000 and XP.

[URL deleted for obvious reasons]


Now I am in control. Now I know what they were doing when I was not home, now I can sit down at my on my own time, and look through to see just what they were doing. Sherlock Knows logs all activity in an easy-to-read log file in my user account so no one else can see or edit it, it truly is amazing and simple. Here's just a little sniplet of what the log files look like:


My whore of a wife logged on at: 3:34:49 AM on 5/21/01
My whore of a wife went to www.aol.com and checked email
My whore of a wife received an email from GHETTO MAN 69@aol.com at 3:43:25 AM on 5/21/01
My whore of a wife logged of at: 5:55:12 AM on 5/21/01
My Daughter logged on at: 4:13:34 on 5/21/01
My Daughter went to www.gurlmail.com and checked email
My Daughter received an instatnt message from Jethog
My Daughter received an instatnt message from JSlvr69
My Daughter received an instatnt message from JSlvr68
My Daughter received an instatnt message from JSlvr70
My Daughter went to www.matchmaker.com
My Daughter signed off at 5:35:36 on 5/21/01


As you can see, it takes care of things quite nicely. So now when I am working hard at work for money to take care of my family, I know what they are doing.

Sherlock Knows even has a built in email feature and a feature to open up port 80 on my computer so I can check what they are doing remotly while I'm at work, or anywhere else I have access to the internet.

If you find yourself going crazy about not knowing what your son, daughter, wife, cousin, grandmother, grandfater, aunt, uncle, or cat is doing on your computer, Sherlock Knows is the right choice for you. Not only is it cost ineffective, but it also sends you more great offers for such products as:


-Free Credit
-Better Whoope
-FREE Airline Tickets
-Ab Belts
-Commando Knives
-Corvettes
-Sexy \(or ugly\) women \(or men\) -- your choice!
-Antenas
-Fog Horns
-Balloons
-Guns
-Thugs
-Light Plate Switches
-Screwdrivers
-Keys to other people's houses
-Trees
-Used bread
-Cookies
-Can Openers
-Hair
-Pots and pans
-Bats
-Batts
-Mirrors
-Ants
-Mice
-DVDs
-Dogs
-Things that are in my neighbor's garbadge
-A life
-Common Sense
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!
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