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http://www.gotthegeek.com/content/view/206/1/Internet forums offer a great way of communicating with others on the internet. They allow a large number of people who share common interests to come together and socialize within the safety and security of their own homes and offices. Traditional forums require registration before a user can post replies and start new topics. These registrations allow users to create their very own online identity - completely separate from their identity in real life. Some decide to pick elaborate user names like "ydnamtnediserp" or "Neo" and others decide to pick user names that resemble their names in real life, such as Joe Sixpack, Chris, and Vampire (Probably really 'Seth').
Most importantly in addition to choosing their own user name, they also pick and choose their own internet e-penis - even females. Believe it or not, in the online world everyone has an e-penis, including females. There is not one person who will say and do the same things in real life as they do in an online setting. Most of the time, people's e-penises (or should it be e-peni?) are a lot larger online than they are in real life. This has caused the growth of many different types of internet personalities ranging from The Judge to The Woman, all of which have their ups and downs.
The New Guy
Everyone goes through this stage when establishing their e-penis. The New Guy is almost exactly like an infant. They don't know how to act since they have never been exposed to such surroundings before. Some New Guys take it better than others. Some will lurk around before making posts in order to test the waters before jumping in. New Guys that follow this course of action usually have the best chance of making it past the abortion period (Which is the time before a New Guy is banned). Other New Guys on the other hand will not take the time to test the waters and instead make a fool out of themselves by posting and asking a question that was already discussed and answered two days ago. These types of New Guys don't make it past the abortion period unless they own up to their mistakes and agree to think before hitting the submit button. The New Guy has an average e-penis size of 4.5 inches given some are more conservative than others.
The Forum Troll
A forum would not be a forum without The Forum Troll. The Forum Troll can be compared to an outgoing teen-aged Goth who has radical views on abortion and every other item up for debate under the sun. The Forum Troll feels compelled to share his or her views with everyone else, even if what they are posting about isn't discussed within the topic in which they are posting. You can easily spot a troll by their activity in threads that discuss religion. If they are quick to say that religion is a scam and followers don't have a brain, they are probably The Forum troll, and probably replied while living in their parents' basement.
The Woman
The Woman (singular) refers to a member who is able to mentally archive and recall any and all posts made by you, as well as the 1,459 other members on the forum - All without the need to use the board's search function. The Woman will use these archived posts against you and others in the event that an argument should break out between you and the woman and they've run out of responses to throw back at you. He or she will open their reply with something like, "Back on March 17, 1998 at 11:45:49PM EST you replied on this same topic and said..." The women will also feel the need to make irate and insane topics / replies for several days in a row for almost no apparent reason and then seemingly return to normal as if nothing had happened.
The Emo Emu
If you're a member of a forum, then you have to know this one: The Emo Emu. The Evil Emu insists that they have the worst life style on the planet. If you post about a bad day, their day was twice as bad. If you post about a problem you're having at work, they post a reply saying that they have that same problem, as well as 5 others to deal with all at the same time. The Emo Emu is also sensitive to issues regarding their boyfriend / girlfriend who just broke up with them. Their hearts have been broken, and no one else knows what it's like since they lost their other half of two weeks.
Keep an eye out for The Emo Emu as they can quickly derail a thread about hot dogs and turn it into a thread about hamburgers, which are complete opposites!
Stephen Hawking Wanna-Be
Each and every day I think to myself how amazing the internet is, and how lucky we are to have such a tool at our finger tips. The internet allows anyone access to a massive amount of data, which means even the dumbest user can appear to be one of the smartest users with enough effort and determination (Assuming they are smart enough to put forward such effort). The Stephen Hawking Wanna-Be will search for any and all data pertaining to a topic in order to claim that they are an expert on the topic being discussed, when in reality they know nothing about it. You can sometimes catch a Stephen Hawking Wanna-Be in the act by simply taking the first several words of their reply and search for them on Google. Sometimes you may get lucky and find the same information somewhere else online verbatim in which case you should take a screen shot of the evidence and post it for all to see and reply with "We've got a live one".
When caught in the act, Stephen Hawking Wanna-Bes quickly scatter since they know they have been caught red-handed. They simply move on to the next community until someone there figures out they don't really know what they claim to know.
The Judge
The Judge - not to be confused with The Geek Forum's member named TheJudge - is quick to judge new members (as well as existing members), hence the name. The Judge has very strict criteria for those who he can consider worthy enough to be his e-friends. If you don't meet his criteria, then you're not good enough for him and you've managed to make his shit list until you can prove his assumption incorrect - which sometimes may never happen. The Judge is also like The Woman in the sense that he has the ability to remember posts that were made several years ago as a means of retort in an argument as well as justification as to why they hate you.
They might also hate you since they are stuck living in their parents' basement.
Grandpa Willard
Grandpa Willard can commonly be found on tech forums asking for help since they can't open the .scr file attached to an email they got from Britney Spears. Someone who fits into this category doesn't have to be old enough to be a grandfather; (Though they are getting younger and younger) they just have to lack technical skills like an old grandfather in his 80s would. Grandpa Willards all seem to lack technical skills, literacy skills, and patience once everyone starts telling him the answer to his problem can be found on either Google.com or Zombo.com.
Grandpa Willard tends to only stick around for a few days after they realize that no one is going to help with his problem since he's The New Guy. Grandpa Willard will stick around to yell a few obscenities at some of the members and then storm out of the room like a little child would do who didn't get their way.
The Forum Clown
Just like how every class has a clown, every forum has a clown.
Just like The Troll, The Forum Clown is there to de-rail your thread about how much you rule at Guitar Hero. Have a topic about how sad you are after your mother's death? The Forum Clown will be there to throw in an untimely joke about how she probably deserved it anyway. The Forum Clown doesn't start very many new topics on their own since they have nothing of value to give back to the community.
If The Forum Clown decides to create a new thread asking for advice from the rest of the members, feel free to either ignore the topic all together, or post equally useless replies in his thread as he did to you.
Moderators
Moderators are just below Administrators, and tend to have less control over the forum. A moderator's job is to do just that - moderate things. When a discussion gets too heated and two members start to argue over the internet like two retarded kids over an empty pack of gum, the moderators are usually there to put an end to things - after everyone has had their fair share of laughs, of course.
In some cases when a moderator is first brought on board, they may feel the need to test out all of their new powers that have been granted to them. Other forum regulars refer to this as a "power trip" since there is no need to ban every new member who signs up, and every other member who doesn't agree with them.
Administrators
Administrators are operators of the forum, and are usually the people that pay the bills to keep the place running. They generally have direct access to the forum's database and subsequent files. Administrators are usually fair in the way they manage their boards, but sometimes a forum might have a rogue Neo-Nazi who only accepts registrations from white males who are over six feet tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. Most require a photograph of the new member with the current day's newspaper before registration is accepted..
Total Members: 4940