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  • (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

Author Topic: Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early  (Read 2840 times)

Demosthenes

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« on: July 02, 2004, 08:27:41 AM »
Oh yeah.... got this one out of the way early today.


Our Receptionist:  Sorry Demosthenes, but I've got <some jerk> on the phone from <client> and they're having a Novell problem and Steve's out of the office.

Me:  I don't know anything about Novell.  Can't you just put him into Steve's voice mail?  Steve's the only Novell guy here.

Receptionist:  I know... but he's insisting on talking to someone.

Me:  :roll:  All right.  You know I'm just going to transfer him to Steve's voice mail, right?

Receptionist: Yeah, I know.  Okay, here he is.

BEEP

Me:  Good morning, this is Demosthenes.

Jerk:  I just got a message in my logon routine that says "Netware cannot authenticate, invalid path or file name".  Do you know what that means?

Me:  No, but Steve does, and he'll be in the office in just a few minutes.  I can put you into his voice mail...

Jerk:  No.  I need to talk to someone right now that can fix this.

Me:  At the moment, there isn't anyone here that knows anything about Novell.  Steve is our Novell guy, and he had to drop something off at a different client's office on his way into work this morning, and he'll be here in a few minutes.

Jerk:  Well I need someone to fix this RIGHT NOW.

Me:  I can have Steve give you a call when he gets in.  What's your--

Jerk:  What's Steve's cell phone number?

Me:  I don't know.  (I'm actually not supposed to give it out)

Jerk:  Then tell me what to do to fix this error.

Me:  Sure.  The first thing you need to do is leave Steve a voice mail.  Step two is to wait for a few minutes for Steve to get here, check his voice mail, and call you back.  Step three is Steve telling you what to do to fix the problem.

Jerk:  Don't take that tone with me, you fucking smartass.

Me:  No problem, sir.  I can give you Steve's voice mail and he'll get back to you.  Have a good morning!


*transfers call to Steve's voice mail*



I don't envy Steve the voice mail this jerk probably just left for him, but something tells me this guy would have been a jerk no matter what.  :roll:
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hackess

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2004, 08:29:11 AM »
Someone needs more coffee this morning.
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Demosthenes

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2004, 08:30:34 AM »
That someone would be me.  Normally I don't get that mean with clients, but he really pissed me off.
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Min

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2004, 08:31:28 AM »
A fucking smartass?  Are you going to try to tell me that this guy has you all wrong?   :P
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Demosthenes

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2004, 08:31:47 AM »
I didn't say that... :P
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Fade^C

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2004, 08:36:31 AM »
Owch Demo (I see people call you that in-non-forum life...that made me L-O-L)

Talk about HURRRRRR...(Biz you out there)?

Ftupid Suckers.
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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2004, 08:38:28 AM »
People still use Novell?
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The_FOO

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2004, 08:41:31 AM »
Quote from: Chris
People still use Novell?


Unforunatly, yes.

Although this is kinda cool.  http://www.novell.com/community/linux/order.php
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Demosthenes

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2004, 08:43:59 AM »
We have two clients that use Novell.  One of whom hasn't rebooted their server in four years.

The other one is this particular client, who is a complete jerk.
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reimero

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2004, 10:05:04 AM »
Demo, Demo, Demo.  Normally, I respect your technical abilities and your tactful handling of problem clients, but in this case, you dropped the ball BIG TIME.

See, you had angry and irate client who was willing to do ANYTHING but the obvious solution to get his Novell server back up.  This level of desperation calls for special treatment, by which I mean, of course, having him try things like standing up wearing an aluminum foil hat and waving his arms around doing Wuthering Heights in semaphore in an effort to block radiation from the solar flares that are bad this time of year and interfere with older computers' circuitry.  Or the "voice activation override" in which he has to chant "ooga booga ooga booga wampa dampa dum" for 3 minutes in order to get the machine to reset to its normal working state (since you don't have normal administrative rights.)

Alternately, you could have arranged to have the building vacated: "It says WHAT?  *pause* that's bad.  Very bad.  Um, how close are you to the machine?  Oh, that's bad.  You'd best evacuate the premesis."
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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2004, 11:25:33 AM »
I would have kept him going and put him on speakerphone, so the whole office could hear!  That's hilarious.  You should have recorded it into a .wav file for all to enjoy!
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Demosthenes

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2004, 03:31:02 PM »
Oh, if I could record some of these mouth breathers for your enjoyment, I sincerely would.

That'd make a great comedy CD.  No lie.
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ho0ber

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Gettin' the stupid client of the day out of the way early
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2004, 11:17:34 AM »
Quote from: Demosthenes

That'd make a great comedy CD.  No lie.


Yes, yes it would.

My friend from school had such an awful and annoying roommate that (as I requested) he started recording the kid.

He has this habit of talking AT you about his game of halo (demo of course) and how "there was this guy, and how he was like shooting, but he kept hiding, and then she popped out from behind the rock, but then..." you get the idea.

He also got the weirdest message on his answering machine at school.  Apparently someone with a thick accent who was "very very dissapinted" with him.

At some point when I get home i'll post those sound files for you folks to laugh at.
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