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Author Topic: The SoupBandit23 Trial  (Read 40353 times)

hackess

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #50 on: February 04, 2005, 03:09:42 PM »
While I respect my colleague Lacerda's position that Jesus is the way to the light for our client, I must present a different argument. One that is far more self-serving.

The longer this thread goes on, the funnier it gets. Since I'm hopped up on candy necklaces and that newfangled techno music, the humor quotient is that much higher.

Also, my client should get a word in edgewise before we rope 'im. I just want to see if he's capable of more than "OMG i agree lol" My hunch is no. I'll bet a tube of Chapstick against anyone who thinks otherwise.
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Anonymous

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #51 on: February 04, 2005, 03:11:29 PM »
Erm... way to defend your client there.  :lol:


Since your client isn't available at this time, would you like to call your first witness to the stand?
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reimero

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #52 on: February 04, 2005, 03:11:33 PM »
I'll take that bet.  More specifically, I'm saying he'll come in and claim that this thread is not funny.  Which will, in turn, be even funnier!
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hackess

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #53 on: February 04, 2005, 03:13:36 PM »
I will call my first witness, your disHonor.

The defense calls Demosthenes to the stand.
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Anonymous

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #54 on: February 04, 2005, 03:15:51 PM »
Very well. The witness will state their name and occupation for the record and then be sworn in. You may proceed with your question once your witness is ready.
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needles

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #55 on: February 04, 2005, 03:16:36 PM »
someone hit my sacbut with a 2 by 4 with a nail in it and how all it does is spew out "HOOOOOOOOOOONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOT HOOOOOOOOOOONK" ... lol :cry:

wait. that's the normal sound.
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reimero

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #56 on: February 04, 2005, 03:16:58 PM »
Excuse me, your honor, I'm from the RIAA and wish to express that everything stated on the record is copyrighted and unauthorized distribution will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the laws we haven't yet bribed out of Congress.
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Demosthenes

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #57 on: February 04, 2005, 03:17:04 PM »
y0
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soupbandit23

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #58 on: February 04, 2005, 03:17:17 PM »
I apoligize if things got off to a bad start and if i have gotten on you guys pissed off... i know that sometimes i can get a little out of control and i am sorry. Why don't we just set things aside and try to start again with a clean slate.
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Anonymous

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #59 on: February 04, 2005, 03:17:19 PM »
*Bang*
*Bang*

ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURT!

The acused will refrain from posting until it is asked to.


Mrs Catwritr, the witness is yours.
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Demosthenes

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #60 on: February 04, 2005, 03:17:53 PM »
Quote from: TheJudge
Very well. The witness will state their name and occupation for the record and then be sworn in. You may proceed with your question once your witness is ready.


Demosthenes.

Jerk.

I solemnly swear.  A lot.  If you don't fucking believe me... well, just take my fucking word for it.
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hackess

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #61 on: February 04, 2005, 03:19:24 PM »
Quote from: soupbandit23
I apoligize if things got off to a bad start and if i have gotten on you guys pissed off... i know that sometimes i can get a little out of control and i am sorry. Why don't we just set things aside and try to start again with a clean slate.


Shut up, you're not on the stand yet. You should listen to me, as I'm your counsel.

So...Demosthenes, is it? What is your impression of my client?
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needles

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #62 on: February 04, 2005, 03:20:18 PM »


OH SHIT SIT DOWN MASTURBATING JANET RENO!!!!


sorry your honor. that's a brand new gemshorn and she got a little over zealous. it won;t happen again.

(zip it, masturbating janet reno or you're FIRED)
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Demosthenes

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #63 on: February 04, 2005, 03:21:10 PM »
Quote from: catwritr
So...Demosthenes, is it? What is your impression of my client?


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Anonymous

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« Reply #64 on: February 04, 2005, 03:24:12 PM »
Does the defense wish to ask more questions?
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hackess

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« Reply #65 on: February 04, 2005, 03:24:24 PM »
*nods soberly*

I see. Please, continue. How did you meet my client?
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hackess

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« Reply #66 on: February 04, 2005, 03:24:57 PM »
Quote from: TheJudge
Does the defense wish to ask more questions?


I'll you I'm done when I'M GODDAMN DONE!!
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Sardonicus

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« Reply #67 on: February 04, 2005, 03:25:40 PM »
Cat is representing the useless...er...I mean fuckwit....oops...defendant?  I OBJECT!  I'm not sure why just yet, but it'll come to me.
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Anonymous

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #68 on: February 04, 2005, 03:25:58 PM »
Quote from: catwritr
I'll you I'm done when I'M GODDAMN DONE!!

That statement is incoherent. Reminds me of me. Please continue.
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Demosthenes

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #69 on: February 04, 2005, 03:26:11 PM »
Quote from: catwritr
*nods soberly*

I see. Please, continue. How did you meet my client?


I would never do such a thing.  I'm not a pervert like needles.
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hackess

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« Reply #70 on: February 04, 2005, 03:26:45 PM »
Quote from: Sardonicus
Cat is representing the useless...er...I mean fuckwit....oops...defendant?  I OBJECT!  I'm not sure why just yet, but it'll come to me.

Your disHONOR! What kind of a courtroom are you running that the peanut gallery is allowed to voice an objection?
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hackess

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« Reply #71 on: February 04, 2005, 03:28:01 PM »
Quote from: TheJudge
Quote from: catwritr
I'll you I'm done when I'M GODDAMN DONE!!

That statement is incoherent. Reminds me of me. Please continue.


AH, fuck. I blame the sugar rush.

Demosthenes, are you accusing the Prostitution of illicit acts?
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Anonymous

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #72 on: February 04, 2005, 03:28:37 PM »
Quote from: catwritr

Your disHONOR! What kind of a courtroom are you running that the peanut gallery is allowed to voice an objection?


Granted! I will have order in this court! Don't make me clear out this room. Members of the audience will remain silent!
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Demosthenes

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The SoupBandit23 Trial
« Reply #73 on: February 04, 2005, 03:29:21 PM »
Quote from: catwritr
Demosthenes, are you accusing the Prostitution of illicit acts?


For the record, I no longer engage in any kind of prostitution.  I was young, and needed the money.
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hackess

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« Reply #74 on: February 04, 2005, 03:31:33 PM »
I would like to ask the witness to continue with his interpretation of my client's state of mind.
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