The Geek Forum
Misc Forums => Writer's Block => Topic started by: Demosthenes on August 08, 2010, 04:23:32 PM
-
So as to preserve the continuity of Wunderkind's work, let's limit all of the discussion about it to this thread.
Thanks.
-
Thank you. :-)
-
"She was a natural brunette."
:wink:
I laughed at the above. It isn't the best of times for me to express my feelings towards what has been written, but I can at least say that I am enjoying it!
-
I'm glad you enjoyed it because I totally meant to take that sentence out and replace it with something else. :lol: Well, it gets the dry, detached sense of his state of mind across anyway.
-
". . . her reaction time a slowed from feeding on a drugged victim. Her pinned her to wall, his hand on her throat. . . ."
Just a few things I noticed. Not to nit-pick or anything, just a heads up.
-
Cha, I didn't have someone else read that before I posted it. Thanks.
-
Don't know if you caught this already, but:
“You’re Your server will be with you in a moment. Can I get you something to drink while you wait?” Words she had rehearsed, lines she had spoken a million times, impersonal and detached, but spoken with a kind smile so he wouldn’t feel that is was that way that it(?) was that way.
Also a few lines down, "reek" should be "wreak."
-
Also,
Moar!
-
Also,
Moar!
-
Thanks, Banshee.
Moar Posted.
-
Kill the Characters
Didn't read the Lullaby Curse
Don't even care
Kill the characters
That's what you fuckers did with my stories. You killed all of my characters with shotgun-toting polar bears. Why should others get a break?
-
I'm sure you all are capable of using Google, but I thought I'd cut you a break.
Ezajasz – meaning god is salvation: Niecislaw will also call him ‘przodek’ which means ‘ancestor’
Strzyga – Polish equivalent to the vampire
The meaning of Ezajasz is my understanding, so if you think or know it means otherwise, please let me know.
I don't think it is out of the common dialect.
-
Alright, I finlly got around to reading this today. After just a few paragraph, I was impressed. After a few more, and I was hooked. Then I noticed I had meetings. I rescheduled them so I could finish reading this. Other than the occasional errors, I certainly see book potential! Get someone to review the work. Keep at it, and bring me the rest ASAP. I want to read the whole thing NOW!
-
You know, it occurs to me that we have at least a few people here who are pretty good editors...
-
I have more on the way but it probably won't be out until after the holidays. My writing is kind of staled with all the Saturnalia/Solstice/I'm-a-big-fat-Christian-lie Festivities.
-
Double Post FTW
I do plan on having it reviewed. Eventually I hope to have all my work reviewed and edited, though I may publish through less than orthodox means.
-
Oh, I do have one suggestion...
"The two prostitutes on either side of young Aleks had been dead for a while now and were growing stiff."
Add the follwing line: "it was a that point that Aleks noticed he was groing stiff too. Time to find some more prostitutes..." And then keep going with the rest.
:lol:
OR... If you want to pay homage to my friend Xolix, go with:
"The two prostitutes on either side of young Aleks had been dead for a while now and were growing stiff. It was a that point that Aleks noticed he was groing stiff too. He watched as Aleks slept, unaware and peaceful… stupid. He had to admit however, that the corpse fucking scene he just witnessed was pretty funny."
-
Cute and gruesome and noted, but I'll keep it the way it is. Why will be explained later in the story.
EDIT: I also noticed a whole lot of Happy Place problems because of the word filter that I should probably go through and sort out, but I'm just too damn lazy. If you can't figure out what word it was supposed to be... you don't deserve to be able to read.
-
... though I may publish through less than orthodox means.
I have a side project I've been working on for a while that I plan to self-publish through Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com).
-
Yes! I saw that when you posted it in mibbit! It's very interesting, indeed.
Just out curiosity, has anyone figured out who the murderous vampire in the first chapter is yet? You've already met him, again.
-
I had initially assumed it was Luey, but now that I look at it again, it seems more like Eza.
BTW, I don't think I mentioned it before, but I have enjoyed reading what you have of this so far. You're a good writer. :)
-
Thanks!
Of course, I'm not going to tell you if you're right or not, I just wanted to see how good my mystery skills are.
-
Cute and gruesome and noted, but I'll keep it the way it is. Why will be explained later in the story.
EDIT: I also noticed a whole lot of Happy Place problems because of the word filter that I should probably go through and sort out, but I'm just too damn lazy. If you can't figure out what word it was supposed to be... you don't deserve to be able to read.
I can remove the filter.
-
Nah like I said:
If you can't figure out what word it was supposed to be... you don't deserve to be able to read.
-
I like the cut of your jib.
-
More foreign words:
Polish:
ksiaze = prince
niesmiertelny = immortal
Zwierzat = animals
German
Ich bin hungrig = I am hungry
Again all of this is "to the best of my knowledge". If I got something wrong, please, tell me. Not telling me is the literary equivalent of letting me walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to me.
-
Well?
*taps foot impatiently*
-
The name of this section is writer's block...
-
I can change that. :evil:
-
More foreign words:
German
Ich bin hungrig = I am hungry
Ich habe hunger. = "I have hunger" is literal translation; but usage is = I am hungry.
:-)
-
For those of you who wonder or care, I have put this project on hold due to some issues with the plot. I may revisit it and revamp it sometime in the near future, but with everything that is going down in my life, right now, it is definitely not at the top of my priorities.
-
LOL "revamp". :lol:
-
Ahah, I didn't even do that on purpose. :-D
-
Did you work out your daddy issues? I'm really looking forward to the next part.
-
Unfortunately, this whole project kind of fell apart on me when I got into some of the research that was going to be necessary. That doesn't mean it's not happening, that just means it's going to suffer some serious amputations and cosmetic adjustments. When I finally sort out how I want the progress (without pissing in the face of actual historical events or having my main character run off with the plot like a pirate) I'll have to start it over again.
-
This story did not turn out like I thought it would. But three whole fucking years later, I finished it. It's needs a lot of work still, a little bit of editing and some bloating, it's very much a skeleton story at the moment. But it's done.
And it's still a better love story than War and Peace by Dostoyevsky.
-
Congratulations on completing it!
(Agreed, War and Peace was a terrible love story.)