I'm having what is quite clearly a DNS problem lately, and, seeing as how it's now been going on for several days, I finally forced myself to call my wretched ISP to find out how much longer this will be going on or if they had any alternates for me to use.
And of course they were their usual helpful selves.
Her: Thank you for calling <isp> customer service, how can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I was wondering when the DNS problems that are going on will be sorted out?
Her: DNS problems?
Me: Yes. Since Friday night, we've been having DNS issues, and I was wondering if you could either give me a timeframe for when they'll be working normally again, or if you could give me an alternative DNS to try.
Her: If you are experiencing a slowdown in your internet connection, the best thing to do is to refresh your modem. Can you do that now?
Me: I rebooted my modem twice. Since that's the only thing you guys ever tell us to do, that's something I do well before I ever call you.
Her: Well we are not aware of any DNS problems; if you refresh your modem I'm sure that will take care of the issue.
Me: I already did. The problem is still there.
Her: Well you should do it now.
Me: I'm not at home right now. I don't NEED to "refresh" my modem. That's not the problem. I just need an alternet DNS.
Her: We don't have any others, and the ones we have are working fine.
Me: No they aren't.
Her: Yes they are.
Me: Look, do you think I'd subject myself to you guys' ridiculously inept support if I wasn't having any problems? There is a problem with your domain name server and I'd like it either fixed, or substituted.
Her: Well nobody has reported any DNS issues.
Me: I AM REPORTING ONE NOW.
Her: Uh.... what, exactly, is the problem then?
Me: I type the URL to a website... ANY website... and I immediately get a "server could not be found" message. BUT, if I type in the IP address instead of the domain name, the site loads fine.
Her: What browser are you using, sir?
Me: I'm using Firefox at home-- wait, what does THAT have to do with anything? This isn't a browser issue--
Her: We only support Internet Explorer.
Me: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BROWSER. This is a DNS problem. Do you know what a DNS problem is?
Her: No, sir.
Me: Can I talk to someone there that DOES know what I'm talking about, please?
Her: There isn't anyone else--
Me: Yeah, I know. I've tried getting information out of you people before, and it's nearly impossible. Look, my number where I'm at right now is <work number>. Have someone that knows what I'm talking about call me back so I can get some answers.
Her: Okay. I'll have someone get back to you.
[TRANSLATION: "If you call and bitch two or three more times, we might have someone call you back, otherwise, don't hold your breath."]
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