The Geek Forum
Main Forums => Entertainment => Topic started by: Agent_Tachyon on May 10, 2007, 11:21:32 PM
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I've been a huge fan of Chick tracts for years now, and I just checked back and found that my old buddy Jack has churned out a couple of new ones!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1033/1033_01.asp
First up is the heartwarming story of why Jesus is different than Santa or the Easter Bunny (answer: the Bible says so). Highlights include 'Nobody fucks wit da Jesus' and what appears to be a paleontologist who is very displeased with his drumstick.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1107/1107_01.asp
This one is pretty abstract and weird (well, more so than usual). It involves various people being led around on a leash, and a pretty cool looking Baphomet stand in. Highlights are the near incomprehensible and hilarious drawings. I'd recommend something herbal to go with this one, personally.
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... First up is the heartwarming story of why Jesus is different than Santa or the Easter Bunny (answer: the Bible says so). Highlights include 'Nobody fucks wit da Jesus' and what appears to be a paleontologist who is very displeased with his drumstick....
...Man You must be high, (not that there's anything wrong with that)... do you actually read them or just look at the funnay pictures ? :wink:
If you haven't allready found any alt_Chick type sites, you might enjoy this:
http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/index.html
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I loathe Chick Publications. However, that first tract does bring up an interesting question: why do so many parents lie to their children about Santa Claus, et. al. ?
I just don't understand the logic of it.
Kid: Mommy, why does Santa give me Christmas presents?
Mommy: Well obviously because that total stranger loves you more than I do.
:?
My parents never lied about Santa or the Easter bunny (for pretty much the same point made in the tract: how could the expect me to believe what they say about God if they lie about Santa), so maybe the lies add some magic and mystery to the season the I missed out on.
:?
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(http://margie580.250free.com/cmas/Santa-Jesus.jpg)
To my mind, one story is as believable as the other -- at least the metaphysical aspects. Living in an invisible town at the North Pole, knowing the moral rectitude of every human child, and having the ability to deliver billions of presents everywhere around the world in one night is no more fantastic than being the creator of the universe and everything in it, including humans, who angered you because they allowed a former cohort to seduce them into learning shame, which compelled you to exact the first of a series of brutal punishments, after which, apparently relenting such harsh treatment, you offer them a chance to kill you in effigy as a means of absolving those who believe it was you who was killed rather than someone merely claiming to be you, who by the way could do things like revive dead people and cure leprosy before he was killed. The Santa story makes a lot more sense, at least to a child.
I mean no disrespect to Christians or followers of any faith. The Christian faith is highly developed and complex, and worthy of study and understanding. I'm intrigued by its many subtleties, like the five points of Calvinism or the doctrine of predestination. If I ever get a chance to go back and get a degree, I may choose theology. Now, that would be weird.
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One of the main problems I have with Christianity is that it has spintered down into so many offshoots it's hard to keep track of what's what. Sometimes, I really wish Jesus would just make a brief pit stop down here one more time just to clear thing up before he takes off again.
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Actually, that's pretty much the plan.
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Ambiguity breeds dissension, thereby dilluting the likelihood of a "master plan" in my view. Too many damn loopholes, inconsistancies, flat-out-missing stuff, blah, blah, etc.
Speeeaking of ambiguity ...
My folks held a politically/socially correct stance with their nods and winks to the whole *god* concept but practiced no form of religion whatsoever. All around me in the outside world however there were untold numbers of groups of peoples all insisting *he* was up there somewhere, each with their own flavor of KewelAide ... and one of them, I ass'me'd , had to be the best.
Search and search I did trying one flavor after another, most often getting quite a good buzz ... but after reading the inGreedience... the come-down was allways a bitch !
I wasted too much of my life chasing after that PrimoCherryDelight™ only to eventually discover that KewelAide causes brain damage and/or death in some cases.
...No thanks, I brought/will bring my own canteen.
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I believed in Santa for a lot longer than I believed in the Judeo-Christian God, he always seemed a hell of a lot nicer. Worst case scenario, he's pissed at you and you get some coal (which, if you think about it, would probably be a lot more useful back when that legend was born than a toy). Worst case scenario with that other dude, and you're burning forever.
I'm going to go listen to 'Burning for you' now.
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In hindsight, what great parody material exists in that first story on the e-viles of telling fairy tales to innocent chillin's ...
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What need exactly would minions of an all-powerful God have of armor?
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*Speechless*
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*Speechless*
That's easy for you to say
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What need exactly would minions of an all-powerful God have of armor?
Why, to repel the firey darts of :evil:Satan:evil: of course.
...
I had friends that were so "Spirit filled" that they spoke in tongues and rolled on the floor in spastic fits whenever they prayed tell me of how Satan would torment their household regularily. They claimed physical abuse on the order of "the Exorcist" took place.
Their explanation was that Satan tormented those that god loved the most because he's running out of time and needs to turn a few more souls or at least run interference against "the work" they do.
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If I were all powerful and had minions working for me, I'd just nod and make them invincible.
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YepYepYep, sounds good to me.
I do believe however, that from their perspective that would be too easy. There is that thing about "Free Will" and the character building benefits of "the struggle" etcetera, etcetera.
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I saw those jammies on the ALOD a while back and only the yoda backback comes close to them in terms of things parents would give their children if they intended for them to hate them in the years to come.
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Could an all powerful God create a nemesis that he couldn't defeat?
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Could an all powerful God create a nemesis that he couldn't defeat?
My guess is that would be stupid; which is inherently < "all-powerful"
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Sure he could, but he'd have to replace logic first.
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What need exactly would minions of an all-powerful God have of armor?
Looks. Hey, if you're gonna Smite Evil, might as well do it in style. :wink:
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:-D
Best
answer
evar!
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Could an all powerful God create a nemesis that he couldn't defeat?
That's a good question. Here's the question I always ask...why would an all-knowing God bother with any of it? I mean, if its really omniscient, than it already knows how everything will end...so what's the point?
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You know, I never thought of that. This explains everything! God is bored out of His skull!!!!
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You know, I never thought of that. This explains everything! God is bored out of His skull!!!!
YES! If I knew everything, I'd probably go insane. Of course, I would have seen it coming too.
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YES! If I knew everything, I'd probably go insane. Of course, I would have seen it coming too.
That would explain so much.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgzdNM7k0fQ
A multimedia adaptation of Chick's classic take on the Titanic disaster.
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This is too long for me to watch right now. What's the upshot?
I'm asking because way back in the 70s I attended (as a college newspaper reporter) a Campus Crusade presentation of "The Titanic Story", which was used (probably not for the first time by a long shot even then) as an allegory for the coming rapture and apocolypse. The story is, of course, allegorically rich: the hubris of man resulting in a modern-day tower of Babel, overreliance on technology rather than spiritualism... When the stewards were running around trying to get people to save themselves, they were largely ignored, just like modern day evangelists are largely ignored... And, in the end, only 20% of the passengers could be saved, because that's how many lifeboats there were.
I got into a series of bitter arguments with these folk. I said, so no matter what, only a fifth of mankind will be saved? That is correct, they said. So what's the point? If you are doomed, you are doomed! Ah, they say, you are certainly doomed if you ignore the call and do not accept Jesus into your life. But... but... Why can't EVERYONE who believes and lives right and goes to church and prays be saved? Because, they said, only one-fifth of humanity will be saved.
Later I understood this to be some kind of diluted form of Calvinist thinking.
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Calvinism is interesting, I'm intrigued by their notions of predestination.
The Chick tract is fairly standard (though none of the Mormon/Satan/Catholic/Rock Music/Islam/Science conspiracies that make his work truly memorable), involving the plight of Chester, an unsaved blasphemer aboard the Titanic. Throughout the voyage he is haunted by the messages of his mother-in-law (I think that's who it was anyway) to accept Jesus before it's too late. Suprise surprise, he dies in the end and Faceless White God tosses him into the lake of fire, just like in 99% of the Chick tracts. This one isn't one of my favourites, it's a bit bland for my taste, but I've never seen one adapted in this fashion.
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Back in college we used to go to the evangelical presentations about satanic music such as John Denver, Venom, and Led Zeppelin. It was always highly entertaining.
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About what was said at the begining of this thread (don't acuse me of necrophilia, i didn't revive it) about why people lie to their own children about santa etc, i have a theory:
It's a kind of a right of passage for children to realise that their parents are lying to them, and the ones that do that on their own will be more inclined to critical thinking about everything they are told from then on. And that's a good thing for them.
On the other hand, most start to "doublethink", so they will be able to believe contrary things at the same time, so maybe it's not the right method for this (or it's right if the goal was to brainwash the child).
And about doublethink, this Chick comic http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp) is good proof, people can confront others with archaeological/ historical/ anthropological evidence, but they can comfortably ignore the evidence against what they believe.
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Back in college we used to go to the evangelical presentations about satanic music such as John Denver, Venom, and Led Zeppelin. It was always highly entertaining.
John Denver??? Was that about the Rocky Mountain "High" thing?
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About what was said at the begining of this thread (don't acuse me of necrophilia, i didn't revive it) about why people lie to their own children about santa etc, i have a theory:
It's a kind of a right of passage for children to realise that their parents are lying to them, and the ones that do that on their own will be more inclined to critical thinking about everything they are told from then on. And that's a good thing for them.
On the other hand, most start to "doublethink", so they will be able to believe contrary things at the same time, so maybe it's not the right method for this (or it's right if the goal was to brainwash the child).
And about doublethink, this Chick comic http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp) is good proof, people can confront others with archaeological/ historical/ anthropological evidence, but they can comfortably ignore the evidence against what they believe.
In a similar vein, I had an interesting revelation about 'spreading allegiance bases'. When you're a little tyke, your allegiance is to your parents. What they say is law, and you believe it. That's an 'allegiance' of two (I'm assuming two parents as standard here for sake of convenience). When you get a bit older and go to school, you're expected to have a certain amount of 'school spirit', and this extends your loyalty to a still larger group. When you go out into the world, you're expected to be loyal to your country (still larger). It forms a sort of pyramid if you think about it.
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John Denver??? Was that about the Rocky Mountain "High" thing?
I even forget how he was so satanic. All I remember was the absurdity of it. Maybe they backward masked his LPs like they did with Zep.
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Google is my friend. I think it was these guys: I remember seeing a film something like what they mention (http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/ccc/ccc.htm) This was afterall back in '85 or '86
Campus Crusade has always made an accommodation with rock music, notwithstanding the fact that nothing is as opposed to the gospel as the ethos of rock. About 1984, Paragon Experience, a ministry of Campus Crusade, produced a multimedia production, "The Dreamweaver." Unlike traditional movie entertainment, "The Dreamweaver" contains only two minutes of talking. Instead, the storyline is communicated through the use of visuals precisely synchronized to the lyrics of contemporary music from the Beatles, John Denver, Simon and Garfunkel, Kansas, Styx, and others, blending this stereophonic music with drama. How can the world's music communicate God's message? Answer: It can't. (New Neutralism II, pp. 42-47). (Bright also spoke at the "Fishnet '91" rock concert (9/90, Flashpoint, p. 3), and was on ZTV's advisory board (6/91, Charisma and Christian Life, p. 64). ZTV is a major 24-hour music video network targeting 12-34 year-olds.)
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OOo.. "stereophonic music" blended with drama! Teh Ev1L!!
HHHiiiiiisssssssssss!!
Imagine the blasphemy emitted from the quadraphonic era... it's a wonder we survived at all.
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I spun Led Zeppelin's "Brown Bomber" album backwards. In "The Lemon Song" you can clearly hear a demon pleading "Felix! Save My Life!"
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If you play 'I remember Larry' backwards you can hear 'Boy you must have a lot of free time on your hands'.
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If you play 'I remember Larry' backwards you can hear 'Boy you must have a lot of free time on your hands'.
Holy Shit! I only know that Oingo Boingo's "Cry of the Vatos" backwards has a pro-Christian message.
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Try playing AOL CD's backwards, i'm pretty sure they have a satanical message.
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Subliminal pr0n, with varying naughty net-nanny settings.
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Try playing AOL CD's backwards, i'm pretty sure they have a satanical message.
Ha. Even worse; play it forward. It installs AOL.
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Calvinism is interesting, I'm intrigued by their notions of predestination.
As you were meant to be.