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Messages - Dangermonk

Pages: [1] 2 3 4
1
Sticky Stuff (no pun intended) / Re: What game are you playing lately?
« on: April 19, 2017, 09:55:39 PM »
Connect Four.  By myself.

2
Anarchy / I'm an Addict.
« on: October 13, 2015, 10:56:48 PM »
I've had many vices through the years.  Drugs, tobacco, alcohol, tobacco, money, guns, porn, tobacco.  I still drink and take pills.  I've found myself lately enjoying what most simple people call beef jerky.  I call it the the "nectar of cows" or something like that.  Oh yeah.  The goodness of chewing a cow.  I'm not just enjoying jerky, but enjoying it a little too much if you know what I mean.  I have even thought about finding some way of injecting it directly into my bloodstream.  I'm smarter than that though.  If I did that, it would ruin the whole chewing and flavor experience.

I should also point out I have been sampling all kinds of jerky.  Different sizes, colors, flavors, and textures.  I'm not hooked on the stuff you find at the local 7-11.  I have better taste than that.  I paid nine dollars ($9.00) to have my latest score of beef show up on my door step.  That is a lot of money for somebody who makes seven fifty ($7.50) an hour, but it works to my advantage because the place that I bought it from is a 1.5 - 2 hr drive for me.  That is the equivalent to a 3 - 4 hour round trip.  Since time is worth seven fifty ($7.50) an hour, any trip requiring more than 72 minutes makes it worth the nine dollar ($9.00) delivery charge.

Is there an easy and inexpensive way to kick the jerky habit?  If there is a pill, is it one that can be taken with alcohol and other pills with no effect or possibly one that enhances the effect of alcohol and other pills?

TIA

3
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:49:18 AM »
I'd hit it!

Hey!
She's a pretty hot chick!
I'd hit it!
I'm sure she deserves it. 

4
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:35:38 AM »
Dirty Whore!

I pay you the big bucks
To do what I want
Dirty whore!
I don't pay you for that!





Sorry.  Trying to out-do Nasty Bitch.  Again. 

5
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:33:25 AM »
The twins hate me

I'm a father now
The ol' lady's two grew fast
The twins hate me
So do the kids

6
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:30:40 AM »
Now about Armandos...

You are a sorry asshole
A dickhead among saints
Now about Armandos...
Write some, bitch!

7
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:29:04 AM »
Now about drinking...

I'm an excellent asshole
The dickhead of saints
Now about drinking...
I'm only having a couple of glasses of wine each night. 

8
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:23:04 AM »
I think I did it

I gave it a shot
It was rough at first
I think I did it
Haven't smoke a cigarette in over six months

9
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: February 26, 2011, 12:20:43 AM »
Oh no!  I dropped it!

I grabbed that little thing
I squeezed it hard
Oh no!  I dropped it!
Good thing it is attached to me. 

10
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 27, 2010, 04:42:20 PM »
I'm a Sensitive Guy

I may sound harsh
I may sound rude
I'm a sensitive guy
My eyes tear up when I see dead animals in on the road

11
Writer's Block / Re: "The Lullaby Curse" discussion thread
« on: August 27, 2010, 04:30:36 PM »
Kill the Characters

Didn't read the Lullaby Curse
Don't even care
Kill the characters
That's what you fuckers did with my stories.  You killed all of my characters with shotgun-toting polar bears.  Why should others get a break?  

12
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 27, 2010, 04:22:44 PM »
I Have a Penis

Here we go again
"I want, I need"
I have a penis
I'm not supposed to be in the kitchen

13
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 27, 2010, 02:30:11 PM »
Is Been Over Three Days

It has been pretty rough
Even so, I'll make it
Is been over three days
Fucking kids aren't even here and are already fucking up the flow of my life

14
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 25, 2010, 07:13:00 PM »
Been Over 36 Hours

I was cutting back
But somehow I quit
Been over 36 hours
When the withdraws are gone I'll probably get hit by a bus or something

15
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 09:39:20 PM »
$875?

I had it once
Now it is gone
$875?
Somebody actually wants $875 for armandos.org?

16
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 09:34:51 PM »
Licking My Wounds

I'm an average guy
I need to feel love
Licking my wounds
I hope I don't break my back in the process

17
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 02:44:17 PM »
I got it now

All of that
Just to know
I've got it now
Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?

18
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 02:35:49 PM »
I Give Up

Scratching my head
Racking my brain
I give up
What does LOL mean?

19
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 02:07:20 PM »
I don't have Logs

I've looked everywhere
Even under the sofa
I don't have logs
It is too hot here to use the fireplace

20
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 01:20:24 PM »
Proof

Somewhere is gone
But I kept this
Proof
http://dangermonk.com/scotch

21
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 20, 2010, 06:18:52 AM »
Preggo Porn Won't Either

If preggo sex
Doesn't work
Preggo porn won't either
I'm not touching it with a nine inch stick

22
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 19, 2010, 06:19:28 PM »
Flexing the Muscle

I have two kids on the way
And I'm the man of the house
Flexing the muscle
Pregnant chicks just don't do it for me


 :?

23
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 19, 2010, 08:47:15 AM »
You're Not Going to Spank Me?

I was in the wrong
I deserve to be punished
You're not going to spank me?
Give me my money back!

24
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 18, 2010, 07:39:02 PM »
I'm Not Serious

I was once serious
A long time ago
I'm not Serious
I'm too old to be Serious these days

25
Writer's Block / Re: Is There not an Armando Thread?
« on: August 18, 2010, 05:49:20 PM »
Some have never been seen, except by PB maybe.


A sad attempt at topping Nasty Bitch.  I failed.  

Was it Wrong of Me to Put it There?

I thought our love
Was the the stongest there was
Was it wrong of me to put it there?
If so, our love isn't as strong as I thought



Chew Toys on the Bed

The puppy wants up
To be with me
Chew toys on the bed
Perhaps I should share them



You Were Good

Hot, lusty passion
I'm so satisfied
You were good
Go make me a sandwich



Shaved

The soft touch of love
I will be missing it for a while
Shaved
Why did you do that to my sheep?



Pigsty

This place is a mess
So much to clean
Pigsty
Fuck it.  I'll take a nap.



Don't Touch Me There!

Do you know what you're doing?
You charge a bit much
Don't touch me there!
What kind of hairstylist are you?



Sugar Daddy

Spending the dough
Showing the love
Sugar daddy
I need to get me one of those



Blue Balls

Such a strange feeling
A new one for me
Blue balls
A can of spray paint goes a long way



Skank

Where are you going?
Dressed like that?
Skank
Be careful tonight, Mom.







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