Maybe they can go to the Louvre and paint secret messages so that Bobert can discover them later?

So I started with TEH L337 H4XX0RZ as a joke. Then I decided that perhaps I could actually be more productive here. So I'm doing an experiment. I'm the kind of person that can sit down and write for a very long time. I don't need a plan. It just comes.

So I'm going to adapt from the previous thread, but will take it seriously and see where it leads.  I have no idea how this will turn out yet because I will make it up as I go. But I hope you enjoy it.

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Copyright (C) 2011 Emhem

He finally woke up. He picked his pants up and headed out to the kitchen. His brown hair was all messed up and he was barely able to keep his eyes opened. He leaned against the kitchen sink and turned on the water. It was cold. It's what he needed. His head went under the tap and he took a few gulps of water while he was there. A dirty crusty cloth was an adequate replacement for a clean towel. He stood tall, walked to the fridge and looked into a small mirror that was hanging there via a barely functional magnet. Probably made in China. As he stared at himself, focusing on his eyes as if he was attempting to penetrate his soul, he spoke out loud. "Dammit Jim... What the fuck are you doing with your life?"

He grabbed a piece of bread and started to chew on it but stopped to pick out the green fungus from the edge, then promptly continued to eat his breakfast. He headed into his room and got dressed. He lived in a small apartment. His door was never locked because there was just nothing of interest or value except his computer, but he always took it with him where ever he went. He didn't have a bed. His bedroom floor was covered in dirty t-shirts, more like rags really. Upon closer look, you could almost see the silhouette of a man amongst the colorful chaos because on the few nights he actually made it to his room, those filthy shirts acted as his mattress.

He walked out of his apartment and swung the door closed. Down the stairs he went, but when he got near the 2nd floor he stopped. He took a deep breath and slowly moved to the landing. He listened but heard no sound. He sighted... He was hoping she would be there. He was hoping he'd at least catch a glimpse of here, preferably from behind. Maybe he's even get to walk by her and smell her perfume. She always smelled nice. If only he could mutter the courage to speak to her. But what the hell would he say? "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Zelda?" He giggled at the thought. The best he had been able to accomplish in months was a warm smile, one that went unnoticed. Guys like him never get the girl he thought. His attention was brought back to reality when he heard the sounds of a deadbolt unlocking nearby.


He took a deep breath and walked out in the hallway of the second floor hoping to come face to face with Jenna. “Shit” he thought as he saw the old wrinkled lady out in the hallway. He tried to sneak back to the stairwell before she noticed him but his escape was interrupted by the sound of her shaky voice.

“Jimmy! Oh Jimmy I’m so glad to see you. How are you today?”. He slowly turned around and gathered all of his strength to shove down his frustration and he greeted her with a nice smile. “I’m doing fine Ms Woods. How about yourself?” He wanted to kick himself in the ass for asking. Why didn’t he stop at “I’m doing fine”? Now he was trapped here and the old bag was probably going to ramble on for 20 minutes.

-   Oh jimmy my boy, you know at my age there’s always something wrong. If it’s not the hip, it’s the old knee, and if it’s not the knee, then it’s the arthritis in my hands. The pain never ends.
-   I’m sorry to hear that Ms. Wood.
-   Sorry? Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. My Frank used to say “Grace, will you ever stop whining about things you can’t control?”. It’s only after he passed that I realized what an idiotic statement that was!
-   Well… I…
-   What am I supposed to do when I’m in pain? Just sit around and suck it up?

There was anger in her voice. Jimmy felt like saying “I don’t know you crazy old bitch, but I know making it painful for everyone else won’t solve anything.” Of course, not a sound came out of his mouth.

-   Be a dear jimmy and get my garbage will you?
-   Sure Ms. Wood, but then I have to go to work.
-   Work? You call that work? All you do is hang out behind a counter and play games with your friends all day! That’s not work. Let me tell you about work. When I was your age…

Jim was nodding as she was speaking, but didn’t register any of the words she was saying. It was always the same old story. No matter what the situation was, she always had it harder than everyone else.  She was always the victim. “Can’t wait for the old bag to croak” he thought. He took two black garbage bags that were at her door and walked towards the garbage chute. She followed him every step of the way, rambling and rambling while he was fantasizing about punching her in the face. A figure walked by them and headed down the stairs. It was her! It was Jenna! Darn… It was her and he missed her completely because of the old babbling fool!

“Have I ever shown you a picture of my Frank. I have it in here somewhere” she said as she fiddled around in her purse. Of course he had seen a picture of Frank. He had seen that god damn picture like 10 times already. He didn’t need to see his ugly mug next to his WWII airplane again. He was going to hear about the war again… He couldn’t take it.

“Hello?” He feigned the phone call as he brought his sliver cell phone to his right ear. He stuck out his finger, telling the old lady to hold on for a minute. “WHAT?” He acted surprised. “I’m on my way!”

He started walking away, and yelled out “Sorry Ms. Wood, I have… something… someone may be hurt.” “That someone was going to be you if I stayed a minute longer” he muttered to himself as he ran down the stairs, hoping to catch up with Jenna. When he got down to the street, all he saw was her left boot make its way in the city bus, followed by two doors that slammed shut, then it departed. “Tomorrow” he thought… “I’ll get the timing right tomorrow”.


His backpack on his shoulder he headed out to the GAMORZ LOUNGE. More like the “gay more lounge” he thought as he walked in. The smell of the sweaty Saturday teenager crowd hit him in the face. The place was packed, mostly full of dorky boys but there was the odd girl here and there. Dice were rolling, kids were arguing about game rules, arcade and pinball machines were beeping.

“You’re late!” a voice called out to him. Fuck. It was Clarence, his fat ass boss. “I was getting you a dozen hotdogs so you could have a mid afternoon snack” he wanted to say. Of course, he didn’t.

-   What’s your excuse now Jimmy boy? You know what, spare me the bullshit. Get your ass in the stock room. I wanted you to start on inventory. And I’m ducking an hour’s pay from you.
-   What? But I’m only 10 minutes late!
-   And your point is?
-   Well, don’t you think it’s a little unfair?
-   What’s unfair, bird brain, is that I’ve hired you to be here ready for work at exactly 2:00 and for some strange reason, every weekend at 2:00, I’m short one staff. Everyone else is here working their butts off, but Jimmy… nooooo! Jimmy thinks he’s special! From now on, I’m taking an hour of pay from you whenever you’re late. If you don’t like it, just show up on time. Now move!

Mike, the tall scrawny geek working the cash was watching the scene that was unfolding before him. He had a huge grin on his face and was clearly enjoying the scolding. Jimmy wanted to punch that grin right off. He’d never do it of course. He just pictured it in his mind.

 He’d been in the stock room for two hours now. He was climbing an old ladder getting boxes from the top shelf. They had been there for a while because they were covered in dust. As he reached out, stretching as far as he could, he lost his balance. His foot slipped and he went flying for the old metal shelf. Of course, the initial reaction was to grab on to it, which was probably not the best idea. In doing so, he shifted all of his weight on the top edge of the large metal shelf. The sudden off balance weight transfer mean the shelf had no other alternative but to come crashing down, so it did.

A loud clanking noise was heard from the public area of the store. Everything went silent for a moment, but the coin machine’s beeps broke the awkward silence and Terence marched towards the stock room. When he opened the door, what he saw was chaos. Two large shelves were on the ground, miniatures and dice were all over the floor. Game cards were spread out all over the place. Luckily they were still in their plastic sleeves. And Jim was slowly getting up, wearing a look of absolute confusion.

“What happened?” Terence yelled out. “What did you do you little runt?” Before jimmy could respond Terence yelled out “You idiot! Look at the mess you did! That’s it. You get the fuck out of my store and never lay a foot in here again! And forget about your paycheck altogether. You’re paying for this!”

Jimmy wanted to protest. His head was still hurting from the fall. He banged it on the ladder, or on an opposing shelf. He wasn’t really sure.

He walked out of the store, back pack on his shoulder.

“Not your day Son, now is it?” A man was wearing a black trench coat was casually leaning on the brick wall by the entrance of the store. He had a goatee but was well groomed. His dark hair was slick and his eyes were enthralling.

-   No, sure isn’t
-   So? What’s next?
-   Well, I’m going home so… if you’ll excuse me.
-   What’s the rush Jimmy boy? There’s nothing waiting for you home. Unless o course you’re thinking about pleasuring yourself again. Gonna picture Jenna? Or maybe you’ll go explore your dark side and invite Ms. Wood in your fantasy?

Who the heck was this guy? Jimmy suddenly felt very uncomfortable. This creep new stuff about him, stuff that no one could possibly know. How could that be? He just wanted to run away.

-   There is nowhere to run Jimmy boy. Relax.
-   How… Who are you? Do I know you?
-   Oh the question part. How boring. Do you know me? What kind of a lame ass question is that Jimmy? Let me pose it to you so that you can answer it yourself. Do you know me?
-   No, not really.
-   So there. If you’re going to ask questions, at least skip the obvious ones. So now that we’ve established that you don’t know me, let me state that I know you. I know you quite well in fact Jimmy and frankly I’m disappointed and unimpressed.
-   Who are you?
-   Who we are as individuals is very complex. Perhaps you could be more precise?
-   Do you have a name?
-   Of course!
-   Well? What is it.
-   Boy, stop asking pointless questions! My name might be Frank, or Jeff, or Clarence, or whatever. That doesn’t change anything. My name does not define me so if you’re asking who I am and seek to gain that knowledge by obtaining my name, then you’re an idiot. Let’s play a different game. I have a question for you: Are you tired of being a loser?
-   What? I don’t… What do you mean?
-   I mean what I said boy! Are you tired of being a god damn fucking loser?

His toned had changed suddenly, as if this was an outburst of anger. But as quickly as it came, it was gone. The man continued with a smooth and casual tone.

-   It’s not a very difficult question to answer now is it?
-   I have to go.
-   Correction. You want to go. It’s not the same thing.
-   I…
-   Suit yourself boy.

Jimmy started walking away. He was walking fast. As he turned the corner, the strange man was not following him. Thank God! Now what the bloody hell was that all about? As he turned his head forward again, he could not believe the sight before him. The man was sitting on a bench 30 feet ahead of him, in the direction Jimmy was heading. The man was looking at him, and grinning as he enjoyed the confusion he had just caused.

Jimmy suddenly changed direction and headed towards the market. He wasn’t walking anymore, he was moving faster, but not quite running just yet. He moved passed fruit stands and restaurants and bars.

“How about a beer?” a voice called out to him. He turned to his left and saw, just a few feet from him, the strange man sitting at a small table at the Canary Bistro. He was sipping on a beer. How was this possible? “Definitely not your day Jimmy boy!” he yelled out before bursting in laughter.”Sit down, have a drink.”

Quickly, Jimmy changed directions again, this time heading up a small pedestrian only street that was leading to the subway station. He decided take a turn in a narrow alley and planned to jump in a cab as soon as he’d spot one. He did, and when he opened the door and jumped in he yelled “Drive!”.

“Where to?” The man asked. “Just drive God dammit! Go!” The cab started to move. Jimmy’s heart was racing. He couldn’t process what had just happened. Was he losing his mind? Was he schizophrenic? Did someone drug him?

“Nope, that’s not it Jimmy” the cab driver said as he turned to face Jimmy and brought the cab to a full stop. At the wheel was the strange man. Jimmy’s brain just didn’t know how to process the recent events anymore. His head was spinning. What was going on?

“Relax Jimmy” The man said. “You haven’t seen anything yet”. And as he finished his sentence, the passenger door opened on the other side, and another man sat in the rear seat of the cab next to jimmy. No. Not another man. It was the same strange man. “My God! There are two of you!” Jimmy exclaimed!

“Wrong again Jimmy” they both spoke. The cab accelerated.

“This was fun, but we need to get down to business Jimmy.” The passenger version of the man said. “Indeed” responded the driver, “So I ask you one last time: Are you tired of being a loser?”

Did you try turning your monitor upside down and degaussing it?


Oh wait...

Other than moving the PC, did you do anything to it before (new components, driver updates, bios updates)?

What's the power supply you got int there? An el cheapo one that came with the case? At this point I would borrow a PS from another PC to rule out a potential PS issue. Defective PS can do all kinds of funky things to a computer. Sounds like it might be related this, or its the board. Test it.

That should be the puzzle for next week.

I feel guitly, so here is the engrish version. P.S. don't expect me to run this trough a speel chexxorz.

He finally woke up. There was a weird smell in the room but he didn't care. He'd been inhaling his own sexual scent for many nights in a row now. He picked is pants up and headed out to the kitchen. His brown hair was all messed up and he was barely able to keep his eyes opened. He leaned against the kitchen sink and turned on the water. It was cold. It's what he needed. His head went under the tap and he took a few gulps of water while he was there. A dirty crusty cloth was an adequate replacement for a clean towel. He stood tall, walked to the fridge and looked into a small mirror that was hanging there via a barely functional magnet. Probably made in China. As he stared at himself, focusing on his eyes as if he was attempting to penetrate his soul, he spoke out loud. "Dammit Jim... What the fuck are you doing with your life?"

He grabbed a piece of bread and started to chew on it but stopped to pick out the green fungus from the edge, then promptly continued to eat his breakfast. He headed into his room and got dressed. He lived in a small appartment. His door was never locked because there was just nothing of interest or value except his computer, but he always took it with him where ever he went. He didn't have a bed. His beadroom floor was covered in dirty t-shirts, more like rags really. Uppon closer look, you could almost see the silouette of a man amongst the colourful chaos because on the few nights he actually made it to his room, those filty shirts acted as his matress.

He walked out of his appartment and swung the door closed. Down the stairs he went, but when he got near the 2nd floor he stopped. He took a deep breath and slowly moved to the landing. He listened but heard no sound. He sighted... He was hoping she would be there. He was hoping he'd at least catch a glimps of here, preferably from behind. Maybe he's even get to walk by her and smell her perfume. She always smelled nice. If only he could mutter the courage to speak to her. But what the hell would he say? "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Zelda?" He giggled at the thought. The best he had been able to accomplish in months was a warm smile, one that went unoticed. Guys like him never get the girl he thought. His attention was brought back to reality when he heard the sounds of a deadbolt unlocking nearby.

1. Tron
2. Tron Legacy

Haha!

Will we even see the end dove this thread?

Nice swan!

When it comes to bird puns, wing it.

PL34Z DISCUST IN L337 SP34K0RZ!!!

But this thread is about faith and religion. There is no choyce!

Lettuce pray.

OIGNONS LOL!!!

I mean.. COCKS LOL!!!

No... Bah... I mint to post something funny...