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Author Topic: Stupid Stuff  (Read 1953 times)

SilverSokan

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Stupid Stuff
« on: February 22, 2006, 08:17:56 PM »

Here's some stupid stuff.


Stupid Criminals (This all really happened!):

A man was wanted in Chicago for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window...the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there.

Two men in Kentucky tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

A bank robber in Bumpus, Tenn, handed a teller the following note: "Watch out. This is a rubbery. I hav an oozy traned on your but. Dump the in a sack, this one. No die packkets or other triks or I will tare you a new naval. No kwarter with red stuff on them, too." Dr. Creon V.B. Smyk of the Ohio Valley Educational Council says such notes are, lamentably, the rule. "Right across the board, we see poor pre-writing skills, problems with omissions, tense, agreement, spelling and clarity," he moaned. Smyk believes that the quality of robbery notes could be improved if criminals could be taught to plan before writing. "We have to stress organization: Make an outline of your robbery note before you write it," he said. "Some of the notes get totally sidetracked on issues like the make, model and caliber of the gun, number of bullets, etc., until one loses sight of the main idea -- the robbery."

(Not really a crime) A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

An off-duty police officer in Newark, NJ, had a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter, which he had been using all night while drinking at a local tavern. After many hours and drinks, he apparently mistook his 32 revolver for the lighter. When he went to light his cigarette, he shot and killed John Fazzola, who was seated 5 stools away at the bar...

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.

Any stupid stuff from you guys?
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xolik

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Re: Stupid Stuff
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2006, 08:36:49 PM »

Quote from: SilverSokan
Any stupid stuff from you guys?


Well, there was this one guy named pastad...never mind.
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ivan

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Stupid Stuff
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2006, 12:02:48 PM »

It was stupid of me to read this thread.
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SilverSokan

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Stupid Stuff
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2006, 08:48:39 PM »

Yes. Yes it was.
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"I hate it when you blow your nose, and you have to open it up and observe the ghastly remains! I mean, what do you expect to find in there? An undicovered Shakespearian play? A textbook on reading Egyptian Hieroglyphs?!" -Kryten 6000

TheJudge

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Stupid Stuff
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2006, 07:28:01 AM »

Ah! A potential candidate for my secret forum...
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xpgeek

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Stupid Stuff
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2006, 02:33:51 PM »

WEST FARGO, N.D. - A North Dakota State University student is facing charges after allegedly trying to buy marijuana at the police station.

Saturday's incident was "about the craziest thing I've ever come across," Officer Ken Zeeb said. "This is something that you couldn't even make up."

The 20-year-old woman called the police station about 3:15 a.m. Saturday, asking where she could buy marijuana, authorities said. The dispatcher, after repeatedly telling the woman it was illegal to sell and possess marijuana, then told her that police had some of the drug in the station's evidence locker.

Zeeb had arrived for his 4 a.m. shift about 15 minutes early and was in the evidence locker room when the woman arrived.

"The dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana,'" Zeeb said.

The woman was arrested on charges of criminal attempt and possession of drug paraphernalia.

"She didn't seem like she was really under the influence of drugs or alcohol," Zeeb said. "She understood what was going on and articulated herself well."

Source
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Mike