The Geek Forum

  • March 28, 2024, 04:21:16 AM
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Due to the prolific nature of these forums, poster aggression is advised.

*

Recent Forum Posts

Shout Box

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 129468
  • Total Topics: 7101
  • Online Today: 39
  • Online Ever: 1013
  • (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

Author Topic: Ab Belts Are Cool  (Read 8815 times)

Anonymous

  • Guest
Ab Belts Are Cool
« on: January 31, 2003, 08:40:04 PM »

Ever since starting this web site and sitting in front of the computer for countless hours, I have gained a lot of weight from doing nothing but typing and eating bon bons infront of this "box" which I do not know what it does anymore. It really didn't bother me much. It didn't bother me until the summer came a long and I had this huge spare tire from all of the fat in those bon bons.

http://www.gotthegeek.com/products/abforce.jpg" alt="" border="0">
In fact, Ab Force isn't even in the form of a belt!
I needed to do something fast, I needed something that worked fast. I tried those pills that claim to be banned by the Government since they turn you into a bean poll the first time that you use them, but they didn't work. It may be because I am too fat and those pills only work for people who are mildly fat. Then I found the Ab Force. I thought to myself, "Hey, those guys using them look pretty buff on TV, why not give it a try?" So I called the 1800 number that I got in one of their emails and had one ordered to my house via fax machine.

There was one problem. I was too fat. the belt would not fit around my fat stomach. This of course pissed me of at first since I had just shelled them 50 bucks of my hard earned money that I made from home for something that didn't work. Later that night I had the brilliant idea to go out to my Corvette that I got off of Freebies.com and cut off one of the seatbelts and tie it to the Ab Force to make the belt itself longer. IT WORKED! After nights of sleeping with it on, being in front of the computer with it, even in the shower \(Did I mention that it is water proof?!\), I got a six pack of abs that I have always wanted!


They're Amazing!

I'm sure you've seen those fantastic electronic ab belt infomercials on TV. They're amazing! They're the latest craze to sweep the country and everybody wants one. The thing is they're expensive selling for up to $120 each. That's why we developed the Abforce that you can buy two right now for just $20. That's right, you can own the amazing Abforce for the unbelievable price of as low as JUST $10 each during this nationwide promotion

AbForce uses the same powerful technology as those expensive ab belts sold through infomercials Supplies only guaranteed to last until March 31, 2002

Limited Time Offer! Demand for the Abforce is so overwhelming that there is a strict limit of 3 orders per address during this promotion. Supplies are limited, so please order quickly to assure delivery. Now you can enjoy a great quality Ab Belt and save a lot of money too!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW!
Or Call Toll Free 1-888-***-9944

Limited Time Offer! Demand for the Abforce is so overwhelming that there is a strict limit of 3 orders per address during this promotion. Supplies are limited, so please order quickly to assure delivery. Now you can enjoy a great quality Ab Belt and save a lot of money too!


I was so pleased with the Ab Force that I wanted to by more for my fat Wife, my fat daughter, my fat son, and my fat dog, but they would only let my buy 3 this time around, so I had to settle for just the humans of the family.

The Ab Force truly is great since you don't have to do a damn thing, you can just sit on you ass all day and watch it do all the work for you. Only if working from home was this easy! Thanks to all of those places that gave my email address out, I now have a 6 pack set of abs that I have always wanted since I was 8-years-old!
Logged

duko

  • Guest
Richest Franchise in Sport
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2004, 06:04:52 PM »

gnanananananananablaaaaaaaaaartttthghghghghghghghghblinblbinbllblblblblbl
Logged

xolik

  • King of the Geekery
  • Hacker
  • ****
  • Coolio Points: +541/-25
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5176
  • HAY GUYS
    • View Profile
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2004, 06:38:23 PM »

Strongbad had the right idea. Just use a sharpie and draw your abs on.
Logged
Barium: What you do if CPR fails.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
[The Fade^C Compound]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Rico

  • Computer Whore
  • **
  • Coolio Points: +24/-7
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 317
    • View Profile
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2004, 09:03:11 PM »

You ever put those things on your head?  Now you talk about FUN!  Watch your face all twitch and stuff.  Best part is that has you move it around so that it hits different muscles it contorts your face in all different ways.  Also use it on random muscles, like your arms and back and stuff.  

...don't use it "down there," though.  That really hurts.
Logged
Magnus frater spectat te - Big Brother is watching you

wlu_lax6

  • Guest
Richest Franchise in Sport
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2004, 06:03:21 AM »

I didn't read this thread and posted anyway.

Also, I'm too lazy to register an account of my own.
Logged

Demosthenes

  • Evil Ex-HN Moderator
  • Administrator
  • Hacker
  • *
  • Coolio Points: +567/-72
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9904
  • Just try me. See what happens.
    • View Profile
    • Zombo
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2004, 08:10:59 AM »

Ha ha ha ha!

Somebody's been reading my book, "Demosthenes' Guide To Irritating Idiots Through Editing Their Posts".

Was that you, Judge?
Logged

Coolio Points: 89,000,998,776,554,211,222
Detta Puzzle Points: 45

Banning forum idiots since 2001

hackess

  • Forum Moderator
  • Hacker
  • *
  • Coolio Points: +10/-0
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4733
  • DFG
    • View Profile
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2004, 08:15:15 AM »

*raises hand*
Logged

Demosthenes

  • Evil Ex-HN Moderator
  • Administrator
  • Hacker
  • *
  • Coolio Points: +567/-72
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9904
  • Just try me. See what happens.
    • View Profile
    • Zombo
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2004, 08:34:00 AM »

If you like, I can autograph your copy.


EDIT


Oooh.... Photoshop idea!
Logged

Coolio Points: 89,000,998,776,554,211,222
Detta Puzzle Points: 45

Banning forum idiots since 2001

pbsaurus

  • Hacker
  • ****
  • Coolio Points: +354/-31
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9981
  • Everyone Loves The King Of The Sea
    • View Profile
    • http://www.myspace.com/flipperpete
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2004, 11:07:08 AM »

*taps foot impatiently*

Law

  • Hacker
  • ****
  • Coolio Points: +6/-5
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1269
    • View Profile
    • http://www.mideastinfo.com
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2004, 11:59:45 AM »

Quote from: pbsaurus
*taps foot impatiently*

*ahem*
Logged
"I shall send down on you a rain of frogs that are impervious to fire but of little use otherwise." -- catwritr

pbsaurus

  • Hacker
  • ****
  • Coolio Points: +354/-31
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9981
  • Everyone Loves The King Of The Sea
    • View Profile
    • http://www.myspace.com/flipperpete
Ab Belts Are Cool
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2004, 12:31:02 PM »

Quote from: Law
Quote from: pbsaurus
*taps foot impatiently*

*ahem*


Yeah, I saw the link later.  I just start from the bottom and work my way up and then there's that pesky old stream of consciousness thingy...

...
*extra elipses added for Spork's viewing pleasure*

zumba

  • Guest
Glazer & the Buccaneers
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2004, 04:23:25 PM »

OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA OKLAHOMA
Logged