The Geek Forum
Main Forums => Anarchy => Topic started by: ydnamtnediserp on February 07, 2008, 08:14:02 PM
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it occurred to me at work today that a lot of the jokes we make and things we say would make absolutely no sense to the average person. as some of you know, i'm a billing disputes specialist for a major credit card company, so i spend most of my day on the phone talking to morons who don't know the concept of responsibly using their credit cards. as most major companies, we've- of course- outsourced a HUGE number of our customer service positions to india. as incompetent as these reps are, we keep from going completely insane by doing what any normal person would do- we make fun of their attempts at english. am i going to hell for this? probably.
example:
THEY say = please do the needful
they mean = please open this dispute for the cardmember because i don't know how to do my job properly and cannot figure out how to open it
WE say = i have to do the needful
we mean = i have to pee
another common phrase heard at work is "shut the front door" said only while the cardmember is on hold. translation? "shut the fuck up"
what are some of the inside jokes you guys have at work or among friends?
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Work --
We say: Oh! Look another email about our bonuses!
We mean: Oh! Look! They hired yet another fucking Sr. VP.
Friends --
We say:
oh, wait. I don't 'do' friends. I guess that's all I've got.
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These are some I use with my friends. I'm sure there's tons more I've forgotten.
We say: "That kid pays his hoser"
we mean: Not really sure about this one, but I know it's not a good thing.
We say: "c1"
We mean: ok, or yes. C1 is the command in Counter-Strike for 'Affirmative'. Used only with CS friends.
We say: "prrna"
We mean: porn
We say: "Spinna!"
We mean: A spinner. A girl our age who is short and small enough to be, well . . . spun.
We say: "I'm super Hammer-D'd"
We mean: I'm completely wasted, please don't let me drive.
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We like to make fun of fat people who insist on large sizing their meals, but then get a Diet Coke to go along with it. "Yeah, like that's going to help" is what we say.
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my best friend used to complain about that when she worked fast food. it's pretty funny, actually.
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When I was a bus driver at UC Davis and one of our gate cards wouldn't work (a card when stuck in the moving arm machine would raise the wooden arm and let you into the campus core),
We'd say: Request permission to do a Bravo Tango Foxtrot
Which meant: Break The Fucker
I'm still a n00b at my current gig so they probably have code to make fun of me that I don't understand
As for friends, none that I'm aware of
In swimming there are a lot of triathletes on our team. I coined the phrase "Silly Land Mammals" to describe them.
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We'd say blackwater when something was fucked and google when there was reason to be hopeful. It was just fun to yell blackwater.
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Work stuff.
we say: "$client is ridin' the Vibe Train"
we mean: "This individual is creating lots and lots of requests that require our attention"
we say: "Terminate with extreme prejudice"
we mean: "Disable this user's domain account and make sure you don't leave any traces behind. Make them an un-person."
we say: "Gettin' Tryggy wit' it."
we mean: "You're demanding that we take care of something right now that you claim you've asked for before, but you actually are only just bringing it up now. You fucking tard."
we say: "Man, that's completely Schaeffered."
we mean: "That is damaged beyond repair, and was done so because of complete incompetence."
we say: "Well that was my Hot Cup Of Stupid for this morning."
we mean: "The person I just got off the phone with is dumber than a bucket of hair."
For some reason there are a lot of work-related references to Ghostbusters, Aliens, and The Big Lebowski where I work. For example...
we say: "Tell him about the Twinkie, Egon."
we mean: "Someone should bring you up to speed on the current crisis."
we say: "Egon, you said crossing the streams was BAD."
we mean: "I think your idea is poorly thought through and is potentially dangerous."
we say: "Nice working with you Dr. Venkman" or "See you on the other side, Ray."
we mean: "I am leaving for the day. Have a good evening."
we say: "I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
we mean: "Delete it."
we say: "Oh sure. We got 'em working in SHIFTS!"
we mean: "Your request is not likely going to be taken seriously because it's stupid."
we say: "At least I'm housebroken."
we mean: "I am more skilled than you at this task."
we say: "Obviously you're not a golfer."
we mean: "You are completely clueless about $subject_at_hand."
There are many more too. My workplace is filled with such things.
EDIT: I almost forgot one of the weirdest ones.
we say: "I'm going to go visit Albert Einstein."
we mean: "I am going to go to the men's room."
Long story.
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LMPJRJJO!
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LMPJRJJO!
Laughing My Pink Jelly Roll Jingle Jangle Off?
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Laughing My Pink Jelly Roll Jingle Jangle Off?
Now that's nowledged up.
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Reproduce! :lol:
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Laughing My Pink Jelly Roll Jingle Jangle Off?
Nope but the meaning can be found somewhere.
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Ah. I thought it might have had something to do with jingle jangle reproduceing.
If so, that'd be totally Nowledged.
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No, but it's kinda related to pjingle jangleion fruit.
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That reminds me . . .
Me and my buddy say: "Quit Janglin'!"
Meaning: We are pretty much making fun of kids with gigantic black pants with a variety of chains hanging off that jangle together.
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Me and my brothers speak in obscure movie references, and other obscurities in general.
"That's my script! I spent 20 minutes on that script"
There's no need to bash me any further, I know I just did a sucky job.
"Schadenfreude!"
You're sadistic.
"D'Dad!"
Goodnight.
"Sarge, establish your recon team down stairs."
You're paranoid today, aren't you?
"What do you call this place again, the surface of the sun?!!!"
Why won't (blank) just shutup.
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"pulling a mandy" = filling out surveys on myspace to avoid doing homework.
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Let's go torch an orphanage!=Let's leave immediately.
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My friends and I will quote our favourite movies/tv shows, and inject terminology from that stuff into our daily language.
"Shiny!" From Firefly/Serenity, to mean, nifty, cool, awesome, etc.- is context-dependent.
Frack/frak- BSG
Gorramn- when you really want to say goddamn but are in place in which this is not a good idea. also from firefly/serenity.
As an answer to an annoying/inane question: "42"
meaning: your question is worthless, thus my answer is not an answer specific to your question. Instead, it is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
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but what if my question is, "what is 21 x 2?"? never thought of that, did you? :roll: :wink:
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We do the same thing with 23.
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Yep, so do we. Except our default answer is "7".
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"Whatever will become of us if we don't finish the shoes tonight?"
Meaning - Someone has requested something that is so very urgent to them as to be seemingly life threatening. Yet to us, it only rises to the importance of Dr. Manette's shoe building activities in A Tale of Two Cities.
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Lately my wife and I exchange lyrics/lines from the Backyardigans.
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We try to see how many times we can use Bad Religion quotes undetected sometimes.
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more work crap.
"on the countdown" = < 1 hour till you can leave work for the day.
"taking red"/"seeing red" = leave work unplanned, or sick (it shows up red in our system)
"visiting my grandfather" = using sick time that's been in your bank for x number of years (thus becoming grandfathered time)
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Me and my friends frequently yell "Suggest soup",
because once we were in subway, and we saw that on the backs of the menu and info signs they have on the counter that they had hints like "Suggest soup!"
We also swear profusely for no apparent reason.
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"I'll feed you to my plants"
I raise carnivorous plants at work on my desk (gifts from my friends)
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Friends:
"You do and you'll clean it up."
Translation: "You just asked a really long complicated/stupid question wherein the listener suffered loss of attention span and cannot answer it until you shorten/summarize."
Work:
"Pretend you don't know where we're going and nevermind that we're in a handbasket."
Translation: "Yes, I know it's fucked up, but the upper echelons are making us do it this way, so for the sake of your job and everyone else's sanity do it this way, anyway."
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Work:
"Pretend you don't know where we're going and nevermind that we're in a handbasket."
Translation: "Yes, I know it's fucked up, but the upper echelons are making us do it this way, so for the sake of your job and everyone else's sanity do it this way, anyway."
I am so stealing this one. :-D
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KOTE = kiss on the elbow
a good friend and i were talking online one night, and i was pretty intoxicated (i can't remember if she was, too). when wrapping up our conversation for the night, we were joking around with all the LOL/LMAO/aol-speak, and i attempted to say "KOTC" to her, but- being drunk- i said "KOTE" instead. she asked me if i just kissed her elbow and, well, several years later, we still end our online conversations this way.
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C=Cooche?
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Being drunk while internetting isn't a good idea. Look at how Hacker Network ended up.
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"Okay, 'fess up, who divided by zero?"
Sometimes said for no other reason than to make each other laugh while confusing others (which is always good!), but usually said when confusion and chaos is afoot.