Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 933386 times)

Agent_Tachyon · « **Reply #2775 on:** January 09, 2008, 09:06:43 PM »

Not only is he a seaman, he lives in a long hard shaft full of people just like him!

12AX7 · « **Reply #2776 on:** January 10, 2008, 07:21:04 AM »

So he's a sub type, then. I bet all those other people really like him!

xolik · « **Reply #2777 on:** January 11, 2008, 06:36:36 PM »

I usually bring my lunch to work with me, but all the bread I had at home was really stale, so I decided to just go out and get lunch today instead of bringing my own. I don't have a car because I have an anxiety disorder that prevents me from being able to drive, so I have to stick to places that are close to the car wash that I work at. There's a Subway restaurant a few hundred yards away, so I decided to go there for lunch.

I'm standing in line looking at all the choices, and I decide to just stick with the plain old turkey sandwich that I'm used to. I have a lot of allergies, so I can't get too crazy with anything. The guy in front of me in line is asked for his order first, and he also gets a turkey sandwich. When the guy gets to the part of the line where you can put your sandwich toppings on, he gets a lot of stuff on there like mayo, mustard, lettuce, olives, peppers, cheese, and all sorts of other stuff. He put almost every topping they had on there! So I'm next in line in the topping bar, and because I'm allergic to a lot of that stuff or just plain don't like it, I just get my turkey sandwich completely plain.

The guy in front of me goes up to the register and I hear the cashier say that his sandwich is $5.23. The guy pays and walks away, and then I go up to the register. The guy asks me what I had, and I said that I had a plain turkey sandwich. Then he says, "Ok, that will be $5.23." So I look at him for a minute wondering if he heard me right, and then I say, "Sorry, my sandwich was plain." The guy gives me this weird look like my head just spun around and then repeats, "Ok. It's $5.23." At this point I think the guy is trying to scam me because I don't see how I'm getting charged the same amount for my sandwich with nothing on it as the guy in front of me who put every topping available on his sandwich, so I say to the man, "EXCUSE ME SIR, but I heard that you charged the gentleman in front of me $5.23, and he had a LOT more stuff on his sandwich than I do. I WON'T be taken advantage of, thank you very much." The cashier tries making up some poppycock story about how it's the same price whether or not you get toppings on your sandwich or not, so I said to the guy, "Let me speak to your manager, please. I bet he'll be VERY interested to know about your little operation you have going here." At this point, I hear a groan behind me from a gentleman a few people back standing in line. I went to the restaurant at noon sharp (I can't sleep well if I don't eat my meals on a strict schedule), so it was pretty busy in the place while this cashier was trying to rip me off. I announce to the people, "Sorry for the hold up, folks. This cashier is trying to overcharge me for my sandwich, but I'm going to talk to the manager about it, so you have nothing to worry about." Surprisingly, nobody said "thank you" or anything. They all just kind of gave me a dead look, and one woman even laughed at me.

The manager finally comes out of his back office and asks me about the problem. I explained the problem to the manager, and then to my complete shock, the manager actually says, "Sir, my employee is correct. Subway does not charge for toppings, so it's the same price for a plain sandwich as it is for one with everything on it." I thought this was a ludicrous policy, considering I am a lower cost to the place than a customer who can eat a lot of toppings, so I asked for the phone number of somebody in the corporate office who I could talk to about this. At this point, a guy in the line behind me loudly proclaims, "CAN YOU JUST PAY FOR THE SANDWICH AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, URKEL?" and then everyone in line starting cheering and clapping! It made me quite embarrassed, but I wasn't to be deterred. I didn't think it was fair, and I wasn't going to give up without some sort of a fight because Clark Howard says you should never settle for customer noservice. I repeated my request for a district manager's number, and the manager then tells me that I have to leave the restaurant immediately. I tell him that I'm not leaving until I speak to someone above him, and I tell him that whoever I speak to will be informed of about his behavior. As I'm arguing, the same guy who yelled before says, "IF YOU DON'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO SHOVE THAT PLAIN SANDWICH RIGHT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS." Now, I know my rights, and I know what constitutes a threat, so I tell the gentleman that I am going to call the police and inform them about his actions. At this point, the man picks me up by arms and throws me out the front door of the restaurant. All the time, the other customers are laughing and clapping and cheering him on. It was like a scene out of a Fellini film! I ran back inside to ask the man his name, and after that he punched me in the face. I woke up a little while later on the street with my pants pulled down to my ankles, and my sandwich inserted inside my underwear. Needless to say, I filed a police report immediately, and am waiting for an officer to take my statement now.

fakeposting itt

12AX7 · « **Reply #2778 on:** January 11, 2008, 06:43:51 PM »

See what happens when you don't twist your breadbag back up nice and tight? Stupid bags.

Min · « **Reply #2779 on:** January 11, 2008, 07:15:12 PM »

I said to myself, "I didn't know Xolik had an anxiety disorder that prevents him from driving"...

Novice · « **Reply #2780 on:** January 11, 2008, 07:18:03 PM »

It reminds me of every time I've been in Best Buy. Besides the sandwich in my pants part.

12AX7 · « **Reply #2781 on:** January 11, 2008, 08:02:49 PM »

Reminds me of every time I have a plain turkey sandwich. Besides the Best Buy part.

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #2782 on:** January 11, 2008, 11:24:28 PM »

And here I was thinking "I didn't know Xolik worked at a car wash."

Or that he looked like Urkel.

On the other hand, that would be extremely sad if it were true.

ivan · « **Reply #2783 on:** January 12, 2008, 04:03:37 PM »

If I had a nickle for every time that happened to me, I'd have $5.23.

Min · « **Reply #2784 on:** January 12, 2008, 06:11:02 PM »

So how many times is that? I'll do the math.....waaaaaiiiiitaminit!!!

ivan · « **Reply #2785 on:** January 12, 2008, 07:15:26 PM »

Well, on the 105th time, it started to happen but then didn't happen all the way.

Agent_Tachyon · « **Reply #2786 on:** January 12, 2008, 11:33:35 PM »

Happens to all of us once in a while champ.

Vespertine · « **Reply #2787 on:** January 14, 2008, 09:36:31 PM »

Quote from: Detta on January 11, 2008, 07:15:12 PM

I said to myself, "I didn't know Xolik had an anxiety disorder that prevents him from driving"...

Funny, I said to myself, "Since when does Xolik work at a car wash?"

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #2788 on:** January 15, 2008, 10:20:45 PM »

http://www.lasagnacat.com/

sociald1077 · « **Reply #2789 on:** January 16, 2008, 12:52:41 AM »

Quote from: Lacerda on January 15, 2008, 10:20:45 PM

http://www.lasagnacat.com/

I just saw this on Jeff Gerstmann's Blog today. http://www.jeffgerstmann.net/

ivan · « **Reply #2790 on:** January 22, 2008, 08:48:33 PM »

Jonah Goldberg is being pilloried on the left and exalted on the right for his book, "Liberal Fascism". In it, he attempts to "set the record straight" regarding which side of the political divide is more fascist by demonstrating the continuum between fascism of the early 1900s and today's progressivism. No surprises there, really. He is not the first to notice the permutations of left-wing philosophies. Yes, us lefties have a lot of skeletons in many closets, eugenics and fascism being possibly the worst. Democrats were once the party of the KKK. Yada yada yada.

The point of the book is to gleefully (and somewhat childishly) deflect the "fascist" slur commonly hurled at conservatives. Jonah claims he shines a light on fascistic thinking on the right, as well, but that gets lost in the braying issuing from conservative radio. Whatever scholarly merits the book may have, it has been reduced to another bout of name-calling.

Anyway, here's the thing: fascism, simplistically, is the subordination of the individual to the good of the state. Obama's call for unity for the sake of the common good is faintly fascistic, as is Hillary's mommy-statism (these two being the main targets of conservatives currently brandishing Jonah's tome). However, so is Bush's militaristic expansion of democracy, the erosion of the Bill of Rights, the call to patriotism and his administration's crass demagoguery. Anyone who puts the common good over the individual is fascistic.

So what do we do? How do we maintain the common good without a degree of fascism?

The answer is that we don't. As much lip service as we pay to individual freedoms, the collective, the state, will always be ascendant as long as there is a state. When confronted with non-conformity, what state will voluntarily dismantle itself in favour of individual freedom? Never gonna happen.

We have not figured out how to live without a state, so we're stuck with one. Schools, roads, armies, police, trasportation, health, safety -- you can argue about the degree to which a state should maintain these vital aspects of society, but no one is prepared to do without them entirely. So it becomes a question of balance.

Look at the state as a giant balloon being held in place by a bunch of people on the ground. Everyone is pulling it in their own direction. Think what would happen if a bunch of people just gave up and let it go, or if another bunch of people were removed on the grounds of being incompatible with everyone else, or not worthy of participation. It would be a disaster, as the balloon veers in the direction of those left pulling and surges out of control.

So whoever you are -- right-wing, left-wing, moderate, progressive, liberal, conservative, or Libertarian -- stop worrying about who's the biggest fascist, and just keep on pulling and never let go.

12AX7 · « **Reply #2791 on:** January 22, 2008, 08:56:59 PM »

Too bad it's a hot air balloon.

Agent_Tachyon · « **Reply #2792 on:** January 22, 2008, 09:17:32 PM »

Quote from: ivan on January 22, 2008, 08:48:33 PM

We have not figured out how to live without a state, so we're stuck with one. Schools, roads, armies, police, trasportation, health, safety -- you can argue about the degree to which a state should maintain these vital aspects of society, but no one is prepared to do without them entirely. So it becomes a question of balance.

That a fact?

Novice · « **Reply #2793 on:** January 23, 2008, 12:00:53 AM »

Good point.

. . .

. . .

ivan · « **Reply #2794 on:** January 23, 2008, 11:52:40 AM »

Quote from: Agent_Tachyon on January 22, 2008, 09:17:32 PM

That a fact?

Yes.

12AX7 · « **Reply #2795 on:** January 29, 2008, 06:35:06 AM »

My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them were and wanted me to tell everyone thank you. He said that one guy we'll call Marine X, got a girl care package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said, "Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him." I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send something to him, Marine X thinks it's for him too.

He said when my husband and I sent the last care package, Marine X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it, and said, "What'd we get this time?"

My son said they had the most fun with Marine X's package. He said he wasn't sure who we were sending the pack to, but the panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and yelled, "Look at me, I'm an Airborne Ranger!!!!" One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for quite awhile. Then of course.......they had those tampons.
When he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he continued. My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the Chap-Stick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was teasing him about "not forgetting his feminine hygiene products."

He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first aid but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, "Hey! Use Marine X's tampons!" My son said they put the tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told Me, "Mom, did you know that tampons expand?" ("Well....yeah!")

They successfully slowed the bleeding until the guy got better medical attention. When they went to check on him later The surgeon told them, "You guys saved his life. If you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would have bled to death." My Son said, "Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by mistake saved a Marine's life."

At this point I asked him, "Well, what did you do with the rest of the tampons?"
He said, "Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our flak jackets,
And I kept two for our first aid kit."

I am absolutely amazed by the ingenuity of our Marines. I can't believe that something that started out as a mistake then turned into a joke, ended up saving someone's life.

Anyanka_was_framed · « **Reply #2796 on:** January 29, 2008, 03:04:13 PM »

I like that story. I think my favourite bit is, "Mom, did you know that tampons expand?".

Demosthenes · « **Reply #2797 on:** January 29, 2008, 04:56:31 PM »

NEWS FLASH! SPAM FILTERING NOT 100% EFFECTIVE! END USERS SHOCKED!

Anyanka_was_framed · « **Reply #2798 on:** January 31, 2008, 11:15:45 PM »

I've got the A Daily Show on, and during the commercial break (I wasn't paying attention), I heard something that played out in my head as, "Your Hitler network and your Fox reality channel!" Which makes sense if you're a Firefly fan. Or a Family Guy fan and are still mad it got canceled even though it's been back awhile.

12AX7 · « **Reply #2799 on:** February 01, 2008, 08:31:50 PM »

My best friend in the world for the last 15 years was killed Wednesday night by dogs. He was just a cat, but he was my buddy.
I'll probably be an unsociable asshole for a while, but Im sure y'all'll get over it.

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Author Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 933386 times)

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