Topic: Reason #47 To Own A Gun (Read 9363 times)

Joe Sixpack · « **on:** October 22, 2008, 10:52:59 AM »

One day, just after dark, you may hear the dogs in your backyard going crazy. When you look outside you may see them gathered in an area where your 5 year old daughter was playing less than an hour earlier. As you go to investigate, your ears may be filled with staccato thunder, and you may find yourself face to face with Man's most ancient enemy - THE SERPENT. Your heart rate and breathing will increase as adrenaline floods your veins. You will do a quick inventory of your assets and liabilities, and realize that you will have to destroy The Diamondback with nothing but a six foot shovel, a cinder block, and your grapefruit-sized gonads. You will survey the terrain in search of tactical advantage, and you will do all of this in the span of a few seconds, an ability you may have not only not known you possessed, but you may have never even wondered, and you will then realize that evolution did right by you.
Later, once you have severed it's head from it's body, and you pose with it's carcass in triumph, you may realize that it's 5ft long and as thick as your arm, without exaggeration. You have to take an unscheduled shower in order to remove the scent of Terror Sweat, and you decide right then that you never want to do any of this again, and a firearm is on your afternoon shopping list.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #1 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:15:06 AM »

Hopefully there was a primal scream heard in your vicinity after the slaying of this legendary beast.

ivan · « **Reply #2 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:16:06 AM »

I live in an urban/wilderness interface. We get rattlers, along with every other indigenous critter, in our back yard, although I've been lucky so far and only had to confront smallish ones. The gun idea appeals (especially after doberman-sized raccoons and a sick bobcat killed all our chickens), but the problem is: discharging firearms is not a trivial matter. Neighbors would report me. To safely wield a firearm as the useful tool that it is, I would have to move somewhere barbaric and lawless, like Texas.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:19:08 AM »

Small rattlers are 100% just as dangerous as the adult ones.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #4 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:21:53 AM »

The venom of a juvenile rattler is actually more potent than an adult, for unknown reasons.

Report you? When firearms are discharged here, people want to know why they weren't invited.

ivan · « **Reply #5 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:25:25 AM »

Little ones are deadly, but not as scary -- their striking distance is smaller, and you can kill them with the flat side of a shovel. A six-footer requires more precise cutting blows and the afore-mentioned grapefuit cajones, and you have to stand farther away or try to get behind it. I would really, really like to have a double-barrel shotgun at hand and just spray the general area with lead.

ivan · « **Reply #6 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:28:55 AM »

Quote from: ivan on October 22, 2008, 11:25:25 AM

and just spray the general area with lead.

And it would STILL be a shower-after type of thing, even with a gun.

Good on you, Sixpack.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #7 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:59:27 AM »

Yes, thank you.
And after all that, the digital camera wasn't charged. We had a disposable, so I'll have a photo of me looking manly whenever that gets developed.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #8 on:** October 22, 2008, 01:31:56 PM »

Way to go Joe!

The_FOO · « **Reply #9 on:** October 22, 2008, 02:11:30 PM »

Poor snake.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #10 on:** October 22, 2008, 02:22:16 PM »

He encroached on the territory of a more territorial and dangerous predator than himself, and therefore deserved to die.

Besides, he was full of venom and malice and was a thoroughly evil creature.

12AX7 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 22, 2008, 05:15:45 PM »

Snake shot

Works great, and not as unwieldy as a shotgun. Not that a shotgun is especially unwieldy, but a .45 is much handier.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #12 on:** October 22, 2008, 08:12:31 PM »

I made the decision to just get a .22 at WalMart based on there being snake shot for it.

I be blastin' on some reptiles like my name was David Icke.

The_FOO · « **Reply #13 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:01:07 AM »

Quote from: Joe Sixpack on October 22, 2008, 02:22:16 PM

He encroached on the territory of a more territorial and dangerous predator than himself, and therefore deserved to die.

Besides, he was full of venom and malice and was a thoroughly evil creature.

That's a load of hooey. You got scared and acted out of fear. The snake would almost certainly have decided that your backyard was way too noisy/busy and left on it's own. Simply keeping everyone/animals away from it while making some extra noise (or better yet, pounding on the ground from a safe distance, because snakes don't have external ears) would have been sufficient to drive it away.

Sure it's full of venom, but for the most part a snake won't inject unless it thinks you're prey, or you physically hurt it. It takes a lot of energy to produce venom so snake conserve it as much as possible. Granted a snake bite is nothing to sneeze at and there is almost always left over venom on or in the fang, so there's a very likely chance you would get some venom in to the blood stream anyway. Although the leftovers aren't likely to be concentrated enough to kill an adult they might a small child.

A snake is not malicious, they hunt and kill for food, and they most certainly aren't evil. Not unless you count being alive and living your life as evil.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #14 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:11:22 AM »

Snakes not evil? Tell that to the bible mister!

12AX7 · « **Reply #15 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:17:24 AM »

Oh. I forgot to tell you Joe.
theFOO is a snake.

I have to say, it's a LOT different living where there are no poisonous snakes(NS), and living in the midst of them(TX). I'm all for catch-and-release when it's appropriate; but a poisonous snake in a residential area is a kill situation, unless you're willing to capture and transport it away from the populated areas. They don't travel for miles and miles, so he probably lived in the area; meaning he's likely to show up again. Maybe that time though, he becomes apparent via strike.
It's true some snakes use "dry" bites some times, but counting on that is like jumping in front of a truck and counting on the driver to brake in time. Especially when a child is involved. Most hospitals DON'T have anti-venom readily available; which is what makes fooling around with a poisonous snake even more dangerous.

Although I'm in agreement with the spirit of FOO's post; I'm gonna have to agree with Joe's actions on this one.

ivan · « **Reply #16 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:20:27 AM »

Quote from: The_FOO on October 24, 2008, 08:01:07 AM

That's a load of hooey. You got scared and acted out of fear. The snake would almost certainly have decided that your backyard was way too noisy/busy and left on it's own. Simply keeping everyone/animals away from it while making some extra noise (or better yet, pounding on the ground from a safe distance, because snakes don't have external ears) would have been sufficient to drive it away.

Sure it's full of venom, but for the most part a snake won't inject unless it thinks you're prey, or you physically hurt it. It takes a lot of energy to produce venom so snake conserve it as much as possible. Granted a snake bite is nothing to sneeze at and there is almost always left over venom on or in the fang, so there's a very likely chance you would get some venom in to the blood stream anyway. Although the leftovers aren't likely to be concentrated enough to kill an adult they might a small child.

A snake is not malicious, they hunt and kill for food, and they most certainly aren't evil. Not unless you count being alive and living your life as evil.

Maybe you missed the part about Sixpack's five-year-old. Granted, most snake bites are a misunderstanding on the snake's part. So are spider bites. I'm sure if you ever confront a scared six-foot rattler, you will find a way to reason with the poor creature and talk it down. However, just as sure as I spray Raid on the nest of Black Widow spiders that my wife or child might accidentally walk into, if the noble rattler slithers into my yard, I will kill it as a way of avoiding further misunderstandings.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #17 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:42:26 AM »

Seems like it would be way more efficient to give the five year-old a gun and then let the situation decide whether or not the snake needs shooting.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #18 on:** October 24, 2008, 09:04:44 AM »

Did I not mention the TERROR SWEAT? Of course it was scary! I generally know the difference between venemous and non-venemous, and leave alone the harmless ones, and I'm all for having deadly creatures relocated when possible. I even called Animal Control first, but it was after hours. I have a kid, a pregnant wife, and 3 dogs, and those are creatures I actually chose to be responsible for.
So please kindly take your holier-than-thou attitude, whittle it into spoon-shaped form, and eat my shiny metal ass.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #19 on:** October 24, 2008, 08:08:18 PM »

I would have done the same thing, Joe and I'm a pacifist who has never even held a firearm. But any entity who tries to fuck with my family will die by my hand.

Stitch · « **Reply #20 on:** October 26, 2008, 12:24:01 PM »

Quote from: Joe Sixpack on October 22, 2008, 11:21:53 AM

The venom of a juvenile rattler is actually more potent than an adult, for unknown reasons.

I'll clear that one up.

Baby venomous snakes' venom is more potent because they're smaller, and they need that little extra oomph to be able to fend off the larger, adult creatures.

edit: Way to go, Joe. I look forward to seeing the pic.

BizB · « **Reply #21 on:** October 27, 2008, 08:43:27 AM »

Quote

Please kindly take your holier-than-thou attitude, whittle it into spoon-shaped form, and eat my shiny metal ass.

Sig!

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #22 on:** October 29, 2008, 04:21:18 PM »

A little teaser, digital pic of the carcass a couple of days later. No sense of scale, I know.

Pay no attention to the file name, it was not my doing.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #23 on:** November 28, 2008, 04:22:10 PM »

bump.

joe, maybe you just need to invest in a big ass spider.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #24 on:** December 23, 2008, 12:35:44 AM »

And that's without the head and tail...

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Author Topic: Reason #47 To Own A Gun (Read 9363 times)

12AX7

12AX7