Topic: Geek's Guide to Women (Read 22719 times)

Anonymous · « **on:** January 21, 2004, 08:26:01 PM »

In this edition of http://www.gotthegeek.com/list.php?title=Geek Guides&listfile=geekguides_list.txt">Geek Guides: Help For The Modern Geek, we'll hopefully try to unlock the secrets to women and dating them.

Note: Do not use this as a real guide to your relationship(s), it is only meant for humor, although we will find it funny if you use this guide in real life situations, chances are your significant other will not be laughing, and nor will you.

Women (AKA 'Females' to the technical Geek) have never really been figured out by men. Women claim that they have men figured out, but this is highly unlikely because according to recent studies, they still make a significant amount less in the work place than their male counterparts do.

One useful piece of information before you get into this guide is this: Women will take four lefts before they actually start their process. They get the same outcome as men will, it just takes them longer to get there, and they may or may not encounter problems on their path.

If you're a Geek that is just starting on the whole "dating" scene, remember, apologize no matter what. Even if it is not your fault, do not hesitate to apologize. Even if you're not just starting, this is a piece of advice that will save you a lot of trouble in the future.

Once you have that remembered, then it is time for you to choose a place to go out on a date to. You don't want to go to a place where you will not be able to talk to your date. Trying a skating rink, bowling, a game of pool, or something along those lines. Save the movies for later. Oh yea, don't forget about dinner. Don't go to Burger King or any other fast food place, you cheap bastard. Remember, don't be "full of yourself" as they say. If you go out to have a basketball game for some odd reason with your date or your significant other, don't go "all out" and try to beat the living hell out of her. Simply put, they will not think it is fun anymore.

Remember to get your date's number if you don't have it already. This will prove useful later on and show her that you care and want to hang out more once you call her. Don't throw the number away, call it instead. For some odd reason, and don't ask why, they like it when you call them. No matter what they are doing, they don't care. Even if you don't have anything to talk about, call. They'll do it to you if you don't do it to them first.

Mark things on your calendar as well if you cannot remember them. Such as her birthday, your anniversary and other important dates. This will eliminate you having to ask her every week when her birthday is. Also, remember things that she points out to you in stores or in conversations. Picking those things up just to surprise her will then really surprise her, or when her birthday comes around you'll be able to pick out a gift easily if she doesn't know what she wants.

You also may have heard people say, "Just be yourself" when you go out on a date. This is true. Do not act like you are someone else, eventually your act will wear off.

Other Dating Ideas:
Bowling
Ice skating
Roller skating
Pool
Miniature golf
Water park
Concert
Museums
Zoo

oh_i_burnt_the_cheeze · « **Reply #1 on:** February 09, 2004, 10:18:20 AM »

Countless amounts of geeks have gotten lucky over the past with one of their own inventions, alcohol. Try taking your date anywere that servers alcohol. Even if she doesn't drink, sometimes being around drunk people can make you feel more at ease, and more in control. We all know how women like control...

hackess · « **Reply #2 on:** February 09, 2004, 10:23:20 AM »

Quote from: oh_i_burnt_the_cheeze

Countless amounts of geeks have gotten lucky over the past with one of their own inventions, alcohol. Try taking your date anywere that servers alcohol. Even if she doesn't drink, sometimes being around drunk people can make you feel more at ease, and more in control. We all know how women like control...

You'll end your life unhappy and alone.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #3 on:** February 09, 2004, 02:18:31 PM »

Not unless I get there first!

t3h 0n2 · « **Reply #4 on:** February 12, 2004, 06:53:05 PM »

THANK GOD SOMEONE WROTE THIS DOWN

Anonymous · « **Reply #5 on:** February 13, 2004, 09:36:03 AM »

Quote from: t3h 0n2

THANK GOD SOMEONE WROTE THIS DOWN

Our manadate is to help out all the geeks to get laid.

Glory · « **Reply #6 on:** December 22, 2004, 11:00:54 PM »

Actually, some of that could be helpful for you guys o_o;

Almost scary. Roffle.

Law · « **Reply #7 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:12:06 AM »

Almost coherent.

Waffles.

needles · « **Reply #8 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:22:02 AM »

just tell me where to stick it and that's about all i fucking need to know, baby.

hackess · « **Reply #9 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:23:19 AM »

Quote from: needles

just tell me where to stick it and that's about all i fucking need to know, baby.

In your ear, love.

needles · « **Reply #10 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:34:06 AM »

hey that doesn't feel good at all! why did you tell me to do that!

hackess · « **Reply #11 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:34:33 AM »

No, no. Your other ear.

needles · « **Reply #12 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:40:01 AM »

oh god. that does feel good!

Dark Shade · « **Reply #13 on:** December 23, 2004, 11:01:52 PM »

*shudders*

Glory · « **Reply #14 on:** December 27, 2004, 05:45:56 PM »

No ear fucking for you! O_o;;;

Law · « **Reply #15 on:** December 27, 2004, 09:47:57 PM »

Quote from: Glory

No ear fucking for you! O_o;;;

No coherency for you````

needles · « **Reply #16 on:** December 28, 2004, 02:25:58 PM »

oh sorry for not responding glory, i didn't hear you coming.

tikki_tikki2000 · « **Reply #17 on:** January 10, 2005, 08:21:49 PM »

you know, i think this could work just as well for advise for girls who are just starting out in the dating scene. Really, if you replace female with male, and male with female, it would work just as well.

needles · « **Reply #18 on:** January 11, 2005, 09:38:26 AM »

Quote

Really, if you replace female with male, and male with female, it would work just as wel

i beg to differ.

i find women to be much higher maintainance.

xolik · « **Reply #19 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:30:29 PM »

Quote from: needles

Quote
Really, if you replace female with male, and male with female, it would work just as wel

i beg to differ.

i find women to be much higher maintainance.

That, my little cherub, is strictly a matter of opinion.

I've date some guys that are very high maintainance. Those relationships never last long.

needles · « **Reply #20 on:** January 11, 2005, 01:43:34 PM »

Quote from: xolik

That, my little cherub, is strictly a matter of opinion. I've date some guys that are very high maintainance. Those relationships never last long.

i find this unlikely (because we all know how much wimmin suck am i riiiighht fellas who's with me!@!?!!?) but i'm willing to take your word on it.

needles · « **Reply #21 on:** January 11, 2005, 02:05:58 PM »

little cherub eh? you were talking to me right?

xolik · « **Reply #22 on:** January 11, 2005, 02:19:27 PM »

Quote from: needles

little cherub eh? you were talking to me right?

That's one of my favourite phrases I've heard from Daffy Duck. He used that when correcting Elmer Fudd about something and it stuck ever since.

needles · « **Reply #23 on:** January 11, 2005, 02:25:53 PM »

heh. ok i didn't think you actually meant it

pbsaurus · « **Reply #24 on:** January 11, 2005, 02:49:20 PM »

Is that a little cherub in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

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Author Topic: Geek's Guide to Women (Read 22719 times)

Anonymous

oh_i_burnt_the_cheeze

t3h 0n2

Anonymous