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Author Topic: Get Real!  (Read 5686 times)

Anonymous

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Get Real!
« on: June 10, 2004, 10:54:08 AM »
Submitted byTheJudge

Reality TV is really getting out of hand. They’re doing more reality shows than sitcoms nowadays. They’re doing shows based on stupid premises, or spinoffs of other shows. And what is someone like me, a television addict, suppose to do? How am I going to benefit from all these new shows that I don’t really enjoy and that take up valuable air time? If you can’t beat them, join’em I say! Listed below are some of the reality shows I want to see done:
This is a show about a guy who spends all of his time on-line. You get the camera crew in his lair and film him as he hangs out in chat rooms and forums. You catch a LOL once in a while and the guy turns to the camera and explains to the viewers what made him LOL. He could share his impressions of his e-friends and make us feel like we are in the chat room with him! Fantastic!

You get a bunch of kids on a farm where they run around unsupervised around dangerous farm equipment and machinery. You take a bunch of pig, shave them, and grease them up real good with Crisco shortening. Then you let them loose in en enclosed area where all the unsuspecting kids hang out. The kids then have to grab a pig and ride it as long as possible without falling in pig shit. The last one to get on a pig is eliminated.

Ah… the dreaded wheel that no one wants to spin… The wheel is actually a giant double ferris wheel that has no seats. The contestants have to jump on the wheel from the ground while the wheel is in motion. They must then hold on until they spin to the top. Then must then leap to the second wheel, hold on to that one until they go all the way around, leap back to the first wheel and hold on until they get near the ground where they can finally let go and land on both feet unharmed. The ones who fall off during the process are eliminated.

This is a show where people must nominate their own bosses as participants because they feel their bosses are assholes. After a rigorous selection process, you end up with 15 bosses who must sometime work as a team, sometimes work against each other. They will be put in real offices where they must burn out as many people as possible, or get others fired, but make it very transparent so that their own bosses will keep their confidence in them. It’s all about mind games!

As a twist, in the middle of the show, the annoying bosses will be reassigned to work for the very people they got fired or got into a mental institution and they will be put in the very situations they put everyone else. It’s going to get nasty!

You get camera crews that follow Danny Pintauro around as he tries to resolve issues with the family who essentially prostituted him for money as a kid, and then sued him for more. Danny’s back and he’s on a mission! He’s going to pretend he wants reconciliation with his family but what he’s really trying to accomplish is get the family therapist and his dad to get it on because the therapist has aids.

This is the show where you give a pile of useless crap to people and they must make an invention out of it. This takes place in downtown New York. Every week, each contestant has to go fetch a garbage bag in a random downtown dumpster. They must then create something useful out of the content, get a patent on it and sell it on the street. There’s no elimination process here. This goes on for weeks and at the end, the top 3 who made the most cash must then stop inventing and start selling their patents to investors! Is anyone going to knock at Donald Trump’s door?

This show sends a bunch of people in places they don’t belong. Like a skinny white dude in a black bar, or a green peace advocate in a unit in Iraq with a big ass flamethrower, or the intr4w3b d00d in the real world on a date with a nympho maniac. You just put people where they are completely out of place and you watch to see if they will adapt to the situation or be seriously injured. I’d watch that!

The Yellow Tuxedo: You get a bunch of idiots dressed up as a cheesy 007 and equip them with fake IDs and fake spy hardware and $10 in their pockets. You drop them out of a plane with a non fake parachute over trouble areas of the world. The catch is that the bond Tux cannot be removed. It is glues to their bodies. They need to make it back home alive in order to receive the antidote that will remove the super glue and free them from the tux. Oh and you give a million dollars to the first guy to make it.

You bring a bunch of fat kids in a new school where everyone is fit and slim and where you get bullied around if you’re not. The first fat kid to loose 50 pounds due to peer pressure wins a lifetime supply of DQ Sundays!

Indeed I have a lot of ideas for shows that I am convinced that people would watch. If you’re going to make it reality, make it interesting. Really. I don’t care if you get to pick you’re dads future wife or if your parent’s girlfriend are going to ask you questions and do a polygraph. I want real action. I want to feel like I’m there holding on to the ferris wheel for my life, or running away with my cup cakes. I want to feel alive when I watch these shows. But now it’s your turn. What would be the reality show you would want to see on TV?
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Min

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« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2004, 11:03:59 AM »
I think we should be able to vote all the reality shows off the networks.  The last one standing is the only one that anyone gets to watch ever again, period.
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« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2004, 11:04:58 AM »
"Who Wants To Be Tech Support?"

Contestants become phone support for an ISP and have to deal with the stupidest of the stupid, for 14 hour shifts.

The first person on each episode to make a rude comment to a customer gets eliminated!

And so on, until only one remains.  Then that person gets fired for being too polite.  :lol:
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Anonymous

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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2004, 11:05:54 AM »
Oh for fuck sakes! I fucked it up...
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Min

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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2004, 11:06:56 AM »
What the hell did you do??
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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2004, 11:06:59 AM »
Quote from: TheJudge
Oh for fuck sakes! I fucked it up...


I'd say. That's some charming HTML you have there...
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Anonymous

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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2004, 11:11:16 AM »
K I fixorated it
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Demosthenes

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« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2004, 11:12:26 AM »
:shock:

What the hell did you do to that before?
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Anonymous

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« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2004, 11:14:43 AM »
When I initally posted on the main page, everything was out of whack so I had to change my code and reformat. But it didn't fix it here so I copied the new HTML over but it didn't read it as HTML. So now I converted my HTML to BBCode and it's a done deal. I need a preview feature in coranto.
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Demosthenes

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« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2004, 11:20:39 AM »
Oh yeah... I have run into that a couple of times.  I think the second or third time I ever posted something, I mangled it so badly that I just deleted it entirely and started over from scratch.
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pbsaurus

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« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2004, 01:39:29 PM »
My TV is the device that enables me to watch DVDs from Netflix.  To be honest, I haven't really missed it.  My wife watches reality TV all the time, you know, stuff on TLC and Animal Planet and the Food Network.  The stuff that the big broadcasters call reality TV is a load of contrived crap.


As for my desire for a show.  I'd like a Surreality TV show, where art historians would explore the mind of Salvador Dali.  Now that's something I could get into.
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Anonymous

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« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2004, 08:54:25 AM »
I just rememebred a SNL sketch I saw once. It was hilarious. who wants to eat? As anyone seen that? They were making fun of who wants to be a millionaire. The contestant was from Kosovo and anwsering questions for food. It started out with a bowl of rice all the way up to a live goat. lol!
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pbsaurus

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« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2004, 01:18:43 PM »
I haven't watched SNL since the Eddie Murphy, Christopher Guest, Billy Crystal era.  Then it had its moments.  But the original cast is still the best.  And the second cast when the added Bill Murray was pretty good too.  Back when it debuted, I watched it and this other kid in my fourth grade class watched it.  We were the only ones allowed to watch so we shared all the jokes and made all the other kids feel like shit.  Oh those were the days....

*realizes he's reminiscing to a time before most of you whippersnappers were even born*
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« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2004, 01:29:30 PM »
Personally, I think they should just give up and make Christopher Walken a regular cast member on SNL.

Those are the only funny episodes anymore anyway.




Heh.  I said "member".  :lol:
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« Reply #14 on: June 11, 2004, 01:30:55 PM »
heh heh
heh heh
yeah, member
heh heh
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Demosthenes

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« Reply #15 on: June 11, 2004, 01:32:46 PM »
Heh heh heh
Heh heh heh

Member!

Heh heh heh heh heh....

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