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• (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

[Anonymous]

http://www.gotthegeek.com/images/iraqivehicle.jpg" alt="" border="0">

This is not much unlike my neigbor's prize. His doesn't have all the writting, isn't green, doesn't have treds, and has windows

I recently haven't won any money from gambling, nor has anyone given me any money for randomly going up to people begging for money like a child begs for money. My neighbor, however, won a brand new used Honda Survey (OMGLOL! Play on words) from Iraq. Here I am carless, and this guy wins a brand new used Toyota from Iraq. Go figure.

When I asked him where he got it from, he said that it was a secret and couldn't tell anyone (not even god in prayer, which is really funny because my neighbor is an atheist.), but after I threatened him with a nice beat down with his own new used car coming through the front of his house at 3 the next morning, he was quick to let me in on his little secret. He was rather hesitant at first, but after about a minute he told me "McDonald's" and I was simply said, "Weird Tingly Feeling? They give out cool prizes like that?" and he simply replied with, "Obviously." I told him not to get smart with me but he continued to babble on about literally nothing, so I ended up walking away from him.

After doing some extensive research online, I was able to find out more about the prizes that McDonald's is giving away whenever you buy a drink, hash brown, Big Mac, Quarter Pounder, any fry size medium or larger, and whatever the hell else they feel like putting the stickers on. Some of the prizes were cool, others were rather stupid. Some of the rather stupid prizes were things like, "Win a trip to sleep with Barney" and "Travel back in time so you can have sex with The Beatles and contract 15 different diseases from it". Those clearly aren't good prizes, and most certainly aren't beneficial. However, there was a slue of upper class, to high end prizes that I find to be appealing. Maybe the average retard may not find them to be appealing, they'll go for 15 diseases from The Beatles instead.

http://www.gotthegeek.com/images/carnivalfire.jpg" alt="" border="0">

This is just one of many cruises that you and your family can go on and enjoy for almost a week

Round Trip To Your Choice of Places
One of the many prizes that you can win from McDonald's Winning Time game is a round trip for you and three other family members to go see one of three cool destinations! You can choose from Iraq, Syria, and even North Korea! Travel provided by Carnival on one of their super-class-super-hot and smokey cruises which you will have to enjoy or else you will be thrown over board. We offer no guarentee of your safety, so please choose wisely when selecting a destination. Remember, if you are dead, there is a possibility that you will never come back.

Lots of sexy automobiles
McDonald's just so happened to buy a huge shipment of never before used-used destroyed-later refurbished Iraqi war vehicles right after the war started and has taken the time to refurbish all vehicles to almost perfect running conditions, if not perfect pushing conditions. Cars must be claimed within 30 days of notification of winning due to limited supply and the fact that they may not work 30 hours after we put them back together again. Additionally, you must be 18 years of age or older to redeem the prize(s). Sorry, one prize per person.  

Massive Stock Piles of Cash
We here at the McDonald’s corporation have recently broken up the world's largest drug bust in Iraqi history and have taken in all funds from both parties and are pushing all that cash on to you guys and gals, out valued customers, so you too can enjoy real Iraqi money! All money will be shipped to you via mail and will be in a plastic bag with a dollar sign ($) written on it in white magic marker. All money will be left as Iraqi currency, and will not be converted into American cash because it will cost more than it is worth. The average "Iraqi Dollar" is worth about .05 American cents. You do the math, it's not pretty.

Those are really the only good prizes that you can win from Winning Time at McDonald’s according to their web page.

After reading all about this "Winning Time" stuff I headed over to the nearest McDonald's where I ordered a medium number 3 (Which is the quarter pounder meal for all you health freaks) and had the chance of winning not one, not two, but three cool prizes from McDonald's.

Obviously, since I am writing this right now, I didn't win a trip to one of those three cool locations, I didn't win a brand new refurbished Iraqi war vehicle, and I didn't win a single dollar. Go figure, my neighbor who already has three used Iraqi war vehicles won yet another one. I guess it's because he goes there several times a day to purchase more food to work on his even increasing gut.

[MISTER MASSACRE]

I remember one time I was at a Tim Horton's and they had one of those "Roll up the rim to win" promotions on...this was when they first came out. As I was drinking my coffee, the guy at the table next to mine leaned over and said "Rrrroll up the rrrrim to win!". I looked at him for a few moments before saying, "Sorry, what?" (keep in mind this promotion was new at the time)
"Rrrroll up the rrrrim to win!" he repeated, leaning in and winking at me. Reading the side of the cup, I now understood. I could win a car, or a stereo, or some cash prizes. Thankful that the man had warned me of this incredible situation, I then rolled up the rim of the cup, careful not to spill any of the burning hot coffee on myself. I smiled as I saw the writing beneath the rim. "Didja win any of the rrrreally grrrreat prrrrizes?" asked the man, leaning far too close to me.
"Why, yes," I said, "I did at that."
"What did you win?" he asked, smiling.
"The thought of you screaming in pain during rrrrreconstructive surrrgery!" I yelled, splashing the hot coffee in his eyes. As he rrrrolled around on the grrrround screaming in agony, I laughed and then used my jetpack to escape.

THE END.

[Anonymous]

hahhahahahhahaha! That's some funny shit man! If only it were true...

[LFD]

I'm not sure whats funnier the fact that you work at this obviously terrorist organization or the article itself.

   

[pseudonymph]

I won a sandwich of my choice last week.