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[agrohimgfu]

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• (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

[xolik]

If you're like me and am terrified to do anything at all with SQL server, but want to find out which version and SP you're running on a particular server because the boss wants to know, then here's a handy website that will help you out:

http://sqlserverbuilds.blogspot.com/

I like doing it this way rather than opening up Enterprise Manager and accidentally dropping all tables doing the Select command that tells you the version.

This thread is now about random technology website links that provide other nifty information or about pie. I haven't decided yet.

[dcrog]

My favourite is pecan pie.

[Vespertine]

There's an easier way than the select you're talking about.  Right click on the server (in Enterprise Manager) and select Properties.  The window that pops up will tell you the version you're at.

[ivan]

Here's the statement I use all the time:

"Hey, [sys admin]! What version we on?"

[xolik]

There's an easier way than the select you're talking about.  Right click on the server (in Enterprise Manager) and select Properties.  The window that pops up will tell you the version you're at.

Hey, thanks! What I don't know about SQL could fill a warehouse, and when the dedicated admins are out, I need all the help I can get. 

My favourite is pecan pie.

Me too! Then cherry.

[xolik]

Crap doublepost

[ivan]

Code: [Select]

Declare @Warehouse int
Declare @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL int
Declare @SQLFact char(1049)

set @Warehouse = 2147483647
set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = 0

Declare WhatIvanKnows Cursor FAST_FORWARD for
     Select SQLFact From EverythingIvanKnows Where SQLFact <> ''

Open WhatIvanKnows

Fetch WhatIvanKnows into @SQLFact

While @@fetch_status = 0

Begin

     if @SQLFact not in (select * from WhatEveryIdiotKnowsAboutSQL)
     begin
               set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL + 1
     end

     Fetch WhatIvanKnows into @SQLFact

End

Close WhatIvanKnows
Deallocate WhatIvanKnows

Print 'What Ivan knows about SQL fills ' + Cast(100 * @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL /  @Warehoue as varchar) + ' percent of a warehouse.'

GO

I'm afraid to run this.

[pbsaurus]

I make an awesome sour cream blueberry pie.  Chocolate cream and coconut cream are runners up as is pecan pie.  Sandy makes a wonderful sour cream apple pie.

[Vespertine]

Code: [Select]

Declare @Warehouse int
Declare @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL int
Declare @SQLFact char(1049)

set @Warehouse = 2147483647
set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = 0

Declare WhatIvanKnows Cursor FAST_FORWARD for
     Select SQLFact From EverythingIvanKnows Where SQLFact <> ''

Open WhatIvanKnows

Fetch WhatIvanKnows into @SQLFact

While @@fetch_status = 0

Begin

     if @SQLFact not in (select * from WhatEveryIdiotKnowsAboutSQL)
     begin
               set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL + 1
     end

     Fetch WhatIvanKnows into @SQLFact

End

Close WhatIvanKnows
Deallocate WhatIvanKnows

Print 'What Ivan knows about SQL fills ' + Cast(100 * @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL /  @Warehoue as varchar) + ' percent of a warehouse.'

GO

I'm afraid to run this.

That's funny and all, but I'd ban you from my server FOREVER for intentionally writing a cursor when there were much better options available to you.

[ivan]

That's funny and all, but I'd ban you from my server FOREVER for intentionally writing a cursor when there were much better options available to you.

Pfff. You're no fun anymore. Cursors are teh funnay!!!

But fine, here you go:

1:

Code: [Select]

Declare @Warehouse int
Declare @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL int

set @Warehouse = 2147483647
set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = 0

select     @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = count(a1.SQLFact)
from       EverythingIvanKnows a1
where     a1.SQLFact <> ''
and        not exists (select a2.SQLFact from WhatEveryIdiotKnowsAboutSQL a2 where a2.SQLFact = a1.SQLFact)

Print 'What Ivan knows about SQL fills ' + Cast(100 * @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL /  @Warehoue as varchar) + ' percent of a warehouse.'

GO


[ivan]

(Not nearly as funny, but at least I won't get kicked off Vespertine's server!)

[Vespertine]

Pfff. You're no fun anymore.
<snip>

I know.  I suck. 
[/dejected]

[ivan]

I know.  I suck. 
[/dejected]

Yes, you do.

[ivan]

IN THE WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS OPPOSITE!!!!

[Pyrenus]

Using left outer joins will speed up your execution time by about 3x:




Declare @Warehouse int
Declare @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL int

set @Warehouse = 2147483647
set @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = 0

select     @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL = count(a1.SQLFact)
from       EverythingIvanKnows a1
LEFT OUTER JOIN WhatEverIdiotKnowsAboutSQL A2 ON A2.SQLFact = a.SqlFact
where     a1.SQLFact <> ''
AND A2.SQLFact IS NULL

Print 'What Ivan knows about SQL fills ' + Cast(100 * @WhatIvanKnowsAboutSQL /  @Warehoue as varchar) + ' percent of a warehouse.'

GO