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  • (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

Author Topic: Preemptive Email  (Read 4430 times)

BizB

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Preemptive Email
« on: April 03, 2008, 09:20:20 AM »
Let's imagine for a minute:
You work for a company with several thousand employees.
In your position, you get advance notice of who is going to get terminated so that you can take care of [whatever] before they leave.

Of course, you're a bit snarky and you decide to send an anonymous email to someone who is about to get fired/laid-off - just to kind of give them a sort of a heads up without really saying - "d00d, pack your shit and go to the bar early."

Give us your best example of what this email might say.

I'll get the ball rolling:
Quote
Subject: Fortune Cookie Email

  Boxes will become more valuable in the near future
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Without me, it's just 'aweso'.

TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2008, 09:44:58 AM »
Out of curiousity, why would you want to do that?
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BizB

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2008, 09:48:13 AM »
humor
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Without me, it's just 'aweso'.

xolik

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2008, 11:19:56 AM »
ur g0nna be f1r3d lol

Oh, wait, that's too direct.
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dcrog

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2008, 11:25:15 AM »
Subject: Fortune Cookie Email

  Boxes will become more valuable in the near future

  So don't worry about not being able to schedule that much needed vacation
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Old enough to know better.
Apparently not wise enough.

And who says with age come's wisdom?

TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2008, 11:47:07 AM »
subject: Jobs across the street

They don't pay as well, but it's better then nothing.
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TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2008, 11:48:22 AM »
Subject: This is funny

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xolik

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2008, 11:49:34 AM »
Subject: Hot new trend for the coming months

Body: Nametags and hairnets.
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TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2008, 01:13:49 PM »
Subject: Xolik's avatar

Body: This could be you at the office next week!
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12AX7

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2008, 01:18:41 PM »
Subject: Parking spaces

Body: Wasn't yours closer to the building than mine? Can I have it?
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Novice

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2008, 01:21:07 PM »
Subject: Question

Body: Just a hypothetical, but what would you do with unlimited free time? . . . and no income?
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TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2008, 01:21:47 PM »
Subject: Office Supplies

Body: Grab them while you can.
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TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2008, 01:22:49 PM »
Subject: Office Fantasies

Body: Now is your opportunity to grab some ass.
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12AX7

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2008, 01:29:52 PM »
Subject: Employee Website

Body:

  [size=8]404 ERROR[/size]
 The requested document was not found.
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12AX7

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2008, 01:33:32 PM »
Subject: Employee Personal Information Update

Body:
 Please enter a valid employee ID number.____________

*error*
 Please enter a valid employee ID number.____________

*error*
 Please enter a valid employee ID number.____________

*error*

...
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BizB

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2008, 02:26:23 PM »
I love you guys
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Without me, it's just 'aweso'.

pbsaurus

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2008, 02:57:29 PM »
In your case RIF doesn't necessarily mean Reading Is Fundamental.
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RelandR

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2008, 04:39:21 PM »
Subject:  Check Your Six


Body:  WARNING! Subjects in mirror may be closer than you think to waving 'good-riddance' rather than 'good-bye'
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TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2008, 07:09:31 AM »
Subject: Summer vacation

Body: Congratulations! The company wishes to recognize your skills and dedication. You've won a permanent summer vacation which begins tomorrow!















Note: Because of the permanent nature of your vacation, it is considered to be leave without pay and benefits
« Last Edit: April 04, 2008, 07:11:47 AM by TheJudge »
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Wunderkind

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #19 on: April 04, 2008, 07:14:44 AM »
The company is reorganizing. You're being reassigned to oblivion.
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I clicked 12AX7's banner.

TheJudge

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2008, 07:29:21 AM »
Subject: Penis Mightiers

Body: I heard the Boss bought a dozen! lol


I also heard that he's looking to screw you...
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jeee

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2008, 02:56:23 PM »
Subject: New coffee machine

Body:

Hey John, you always complain about the quality of our coffee ? Well those days are over, you won't be drinking it anymore in the near future.
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ydnamtnediserp

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Re: Preemptive Email
« Reply #22 on: April 06, 2008, 03:08:29 PM »
remember when you called in sick last week? well, you won't have to anymore.
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