Topic: The "Absolute Dumbest Questions You've Ever Heard" Thread (Read 59351 times)

ivan · « **Reply #175 on:** March 10, 2009, 09:43:33 AM »

Quote from: Detta on March 09, 2009, 04:51:46 PM

Denny's used to have a really nice coffee mug. Then I took it home with me and they didn't have it anymore.

This was supposed to go you-know-where, but early morning lameness was still in effect.

Keticaldy · « **Reply #176 on:** March 26, 2009, 02:13:40 AM »

Someone arrives at my desk with a courier request form and a bunch of documents.

AC = Annoying Coworker
Me = Me, obviously

AC = Hi, I need these couriered to [insert destination]
Me = Okay, you need to get an envelope and print the address on there as well.
AC = You mean I have to do that myself?!
Me (thoughts) = What do you think I am? Your PA?

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #177 on:** March 27, 2009, 07:26:28 AM »

If you think it instead of saying it, it'll keep happening.

Scheherazade · « **Reply #178 on:** March 27, 2009, 04:16:54 PM »

I now work in the university library, at the help desk. Yesterday a student came up to me and we had this conversation:

Student: Do you know where I can find books on Chinese art?
Me: Sure. Take the stairs to the second floor, make a left, they're in the third aisle on the left.

*ten minutes later*

Student: I found the books, thanks! Where are the copy machines?
Me: They're right through that door.
Student: This book is kind of big...do you think the pages will fit on the copier?
Me: Er, I think they should fit.
Student: Awesome! I really need these notes for my art class.
Me: You could just borrow the books.
Student: I can BORROW the books?

She was blonde, I'm not sure if that explains everything.

Novice · « **Reply #179 on:** March 27, 2009, 04:47:14 PM »

She was blonde and an art student.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #180 on:** March 27, 2009, 06:15:32 PM »

There are some libraries where you can only look inside the library and not borrow. But I get your point.

WickedWizard · « **Reply #181 on:** April 17, 2009, 05:16:32 PM »

I work for a small IT firm as an N.S.A.S. (Network Security Audit Specialist), which means I am constantly on the phone and running remote desktops and other stuff like NMAP and Nessus. This morning i get a call from a client about a problem and this is the conversation we had:

M=Me
C=Dumb ass Client

M: "PureData, Joshua speaking. How may I help you?"
C: "Yeah, I'm with *Generic Company Name* and we here cant get our website to show up or get any important files from our system."
M: "Whats you're Admin ID and Password?"
C: *Omitted for security*
M: "Thank you, please hold while I remotely log in."

Several try's and I keep getting timed out.

M: "Sir, is you're server disconnected or turned off?"
C: "What do you mean?"
M: "Did you turn off the server or is the router not on?"
C: "Why does it need to be on?"

Thank god this Job pays good.

That call cost them $120. lol

Demosthenes · « **Reply #182 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:06:44 PM »

Quote from: WickedWizard on April 17, 2009, 05:16:32 PM

I work for a small IT firm as an N.S.A.S. (Network Security Audit Specialist), which means I am constantly on the phone and running remote desktops and other stuff like NMAP and Nessus. This morning i get a call from a client about a problem and this is the conversation we had:

M=Me
C=Dumb ass Client

M: "PureData, Joshua speaking. How may I help you?"
C: "Yeah, I'm with *Generic Company Name* and we here cant get our website to show up or get any important files from our system."
M: "Whats you're Admin ID and Password?"
C: *Omitted for security*
M: "Thank you, please hold while I remotely log in."

Several try's and I keep getting timed out.

M: "Sir, is you're server disconnected or turned off?"
C: "What do you mean?"
M: "Did you turn off the server or is the router not on?"
C: "Why does it need to be on?"

Thank god this Job pays good.

That call cost them $120. lol

Heh. My last job was as the Hosted Services Department Supervisor for an ASP. We hosted hundreds of Windows Terminal Servers for thousands of completely non-technical end-users.

My unofficial title there was "Lead Tardherder".

You are in a unique position to understand my pain, surely.

WickedWizard · « **Reply #183 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:02:20 PM »

Yeah, tardhearder, I like that. I'm going to steal it and overwork it like a SpEd student works his... well, lets just I'm going to overuse it.

BizB · « **Reply #184 on:** April 18, 2009, 10:23:38 AM »

Of course, you're familiar with The Chronicles of George... right?

WickedWizard · « **Reply #185 on:** April 18, 2009, 11:26:53 AM »

Quote from: BizB on April 18, 2009, 10:23:38 AM

Of course, you're familiar with The Chronicles of George... right?

Thats my home page.

TheHighlander · « **Reply #186 on:** May 18, 2009, 08:04:33 PM »

THE STUPIDIES Q EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has to be when someone asks me..........Why isn't my internet working??
I just stair and think f***ing moron.

BizB · « **Reply #187 on:** May 18, 2009, 08:25:47 PM »

OMGWTFBBQ!!!11!!eleven!!1 How many exclamation points do you need?

Min · « **Reply #188 on:** May 18, 2009, 08:29:27 PM »

There's none left.

12AX7 · « **Reply #189 on:** May 18, 2009, 09:39:40 PM »

*orders more points* !

TheHighlander · « **Reply #190 on:** May 19, 2009, 07:59:59 AM »

idk i may need more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lolz sry

Demosthenes · « **Reply #191 on:** May 19, 2009, 08:53:19 AM »

Ok, seriously guys. Why hasn't someone banned this 'tard yet?

jeee · « **Reply #192 on:** May 19, 2009, 08:59:18 AM »

I think 12 is slacking, maybe he is late with the necessary paperwork.

TheHighlander · « **Reply #193 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:03:46 AM »

hey i was jk calm down. i appologized, im normally not that retarded lol.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #194 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:06:39 AM »

Quote from: TheHighlander on May 19, 2009, 09:03:46 AM

hey i was jk calm down. i appologized, im normally not that retarded lol.

Wow.

Okay, someone answer me. Is this guy someone's kid brother or Special Ed project or something?

BizB · « **Reply #195 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:09:28 AM »

Allow me to translate. I've been working on my moraneese for a while, now.

Quote from: TheHighlander on May 19, 2009, 09:03:46 AM

Hey, I was just kidding. Calm down! I apologized. I'm just slightly retarded.

I think that's right.

TheHighlander · « **Reply #196 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:14:24 AM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on May 19, 2009, 09:06:39 AM

Wow.

Okay, someone answer me. Is this guy someone's kid brother or Special Ed project or something?

ohh rough, below the belt right there.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #197 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:32:58 AM »

Quote from: TheHighlander on May 19, 2009, 09:14:24 AM

ohh rough, below the belt right there.

I was not addressing you.

Novice · « **Reply #198 on:** May 19, 2009, 12:09:51 PM »

Quote from: TheHighlander on May 19, 2009, 08:21:34 AM

Hmm. its a dog? ya that's all i got...

CranesNotSkyHooks · « **Reply #199 on:** June 09, 2009, 07:10:51 PM »

Well one of the stupidest things I've ever heard came out of a Youtube fundie's mouth when he was talking about God and evolution (oh dear).... It comes from a 10 minute rant filmed in his car on a really rainy which adds to the creepiness factor of the whole situation....After ranting about evolution being "just a theory" (the douche doesn't know what a scientific theory is) and how EVILUTION leads to communism and the Holocaust etc he lets out this solid chunk of priceless face palmage
"... What came first: The chicken or the egg? Obviously the chicken did! God's not sittin' on eggs! THATS THE CHICKENS JOB!!!1!!1!!!"

Here's the link if you want to inform him of the lawls he just provided you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ll_qFBQOYY#noexternalembed&feature=channel_page

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Author Topic: The "Absolute Dumbest Questions You've Ever Heard" Thread (Read 59351 times)

12AX7