Topic: I need help with a roalple situation!! pleeease!! urgh!1! gurgle2 (Read 5552 times)

merelyAdreamer · « **on:** January 28, 2008, 05:43:22 PM »

Ok. So my boyfriend and I are doing a small role playing game on AIM just for fun, and im stuck at a spot and cant figure out what to do! SUGGESTIONS?? lol

Ok, my character is an elf, i have been been sent by my mother to take gold to the queen (a 5 day journey through the jungle) I have been sent with 3 female guards to tend to the elephant that is pulling the cart, and 2 male servants. After a long days journey, we set up camp and i tell the guards to keep watch in two shifts, one with 2 and one with just one. I am traveling with my tiger, Dea, and I have brought rope, a dager, a small mirror and katanas. In the middle of the night, during the shift with one guard, i hear the thump of a bow releasing an arrow, and then a thud. I sneak to the opening of a tent and see a 15 foot lion dragging my guard by her foot, the bow in it's side seeming to not have any effect. "It is a dire beast, mutilated and strengthened by wild magic in the jungle"
I tell my men, who have quietly made their way to my tent, that the arrows seem to have no effect. I tell one guard to make her way around the outskirts of the trees and tend to the girl (who has made a moaning sound to show that she isn't dead) once the lion is distracted, and then told the rest to prepare to fight.
I have no idea what to do to stop the lion!!! help meeee!!!

Anyanka_was_framed · « **Reply #1 on:** January 28, 2008, 06:06:19 PM »

Picard is damn busy today.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #2 on:** January 28, 2008, 06:15:13 PM »

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3 on:** January 28, 2008, 06:48:13 PM »

why don't you and your boyfriend just role play in the bedroom like the rest of us?

pbsaurus · « **Reply #4 on:** January 28, 2008, 07:41:39 PM »

Are the three female guards hot?

Chris · « **Reply #5 on:** January 28, 2008, 08:58:33 PM »

I have heard this one before... It's pretty old.

You need to have sex with the lion on the elephant's back while your guards are watching in the mirror while using the rope to tie it around the lion's neck and then stabbing it with the dagger after they hang it.

The katanas get shoved up the lion's ass after it's dead.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #6 on:** January 28, 2008, 09:09:01 PM »

colonel mustard in the study with the candlestick?

Anyanka_was_framed · « **Reply #7 on:** January 28, 2008, 10:55:27 PM »

Quote from: ydnamtnediserp on January 28, 2008, 09:09:01 PM

colonel mustard in the study with the candlestick?

Kinky, is there hot wax involved?

Chris · « **Reply #8 on:** January 28, 2008, 10:59:24 PM »

Quote from: Anyanka_was_framed on January 28, 2008, 10:55:27 PM

Kinky, is there hot wax involved?

No. I think hot mustard is involved, though.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #9 on:** January 29, 2008, 12:55:04 AM »

I don't...I don't get it.

sociald1077 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 29, 2008, 03:19:08 AM »

Make yourself as big as possible (so you assume the dominate role) and roar at the lion. He will see you are the one in charge and slink away. Or you could get a ninja monkey...

Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
You're getting a lion?
Yeah.
Why?
To protect my shit.
Never heard of a dog?
Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Yeah, that's true.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #11 on:** January 29, 2008, 07:55:23 AM »

That movie was hilarious.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #12 on:** January 29, 2008, 12:53:41 PM »

I have been roll-praying for years. I am here to help.

You need to keep that lion interested and around until the sun comes up. Get one of your guards to tie the rope into a lasso, then attempt to snare the woman being eaten by the lion. Tell the guards to wiggle the rope occasionally to make it seem as if the woman is still alive (if she is this will be much easier) so the lion doesn't get bored and wander off. Use the katana to sever the feet from the rest of your guards, as that seems to be their weak point. The lion can't drag them off by their feet if they don't have any QED. When the sun is high enough, use the mirror to reflect the light into the lion's eyes, blinding it. Once the lion is blinded, command your tiger to tear out its throat. You should be able to do this by yelling something like "GO TIGER FUCK THAT LION'S THROAT UP." After that's all done, load the dead lion along with your footless guards into the cart and go home to a hero's welcome.

No need to thank me, I have a bag of dice.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #13 on:** January 29, 2008, 02:15:29 PM »

So is the lion really a lion, or is it a furry?

Dark Shade · « **Reply #14 on:** January 29, 2008, 06:07:51 PM »

No response. I assume she's been eaten.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #15 on:** January 29, 2008, 06:19:52 PM »

It's probably for the best.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #16 on:** January 29, 2008, 07:17:06 PM »

* pbsaurus starts humming "The Circle Of Life"

Jaepheth · « **Reply #17 on:** January 30, 2008, 12:02:44 AM »

Quote from: Dark Shade on January 29, 2008, 06:07:51 PM

No response. I assume she's been eaten.

Internet role-play is serious business.

xolik · « **Reply #18 on:** January 30, 2008, 10:46:43 AM »

MY BOYFRIEND

TheJudge · « **Reply #19 on:** January 30, 2008, 12:18:33 PM »

Well, in case she does come back, I'd suggest putting on your cloak and wizard hat.

jeee · « **Reply #20 on:** February 14, 2008, 07:25:28 PM »

distract a lion = throw an impala

easy

Chris · « **Reply #21 on:** February 15, 2008, 03:16:01 AM »

Before distracting the lion, play a quick round of the choking game.

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