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Main Forums => Political Opinions => Topic started by: reimero on October 02, 2008, 08:20:14 AM

Title: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: reimero on October 02, 2008, 08:20:14 AM
Michael Moore posted  this tripe (http://"http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?messageDate=2008-10-01") - his plan to fix Wall Street - in his blog.  I wish to respond.

1. APPOINT A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR TO CRIMINALLY INDICT ANYONE ON WALL STREET WHO KNOWINGLY CONTRIBUTED TO THIS COLLAPSE.
You can only indict someone for committing a crime.  Contributing to an economic collapse by exploiting lack of regulation or employing ethically-dubious yet not unlawful methods is NOT a crime.  Furthermore, Article I of the Constitution states that "No bill of attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed. "
FAIL

2. THE RICH MUST PAY FOR THEIR OWN BAILOUT.
Okay...
a) Every couple who makes over a million dollars a year and every single taxpayer who makes over $500,000 a year will pay a 10% surcharge tax for five years.
Wait... so they're not actually paying for their own problems, but rather being lumped into a group based on income under the assumption that they're all somehow culpable?  Yeah.  That's "paying for their own bailout."  :roll:
b) Like nearly every other democracy, charge a 0.25% tax on every stock transaction. This will raise more than $200 billion in a year.
Because we can all afford higher taxes right now.  It's not like I have anything better to do with my retirement money (like, say, prepare for retirement.)
c) Because every stockholder is a patriotic American, stockholders will forgo receiving a dividend check for one quarter and instead this money will go the treasury to help pay for the bailout.
Don't you feel patriotic, FOO?  Then there's this minor detail that while the government has the power to tax, the government does NOT have the power to tell corporations how to spend its profits.  This idea sounds socialist and a half romantic on paper, but as a practical idea it is mindblowingly stupid.
d) 25% of major U.S. corporations currently pay NO federal income tax. Federal corporate tax revenues currently amount to 1.7% of the GDP compared to 5% in the 1950s. If we raise the corporate income tax back to the level of the 1950s, that gives us an extra $500 billion.
It's not about the tax rate, dumbass.  It's about tax shelters.  There's also this minor detail that if you try to tax too hard, corporations will pack up their toys and move overseas, leaving us with less revenue AND higher unemployment.  Sign me up!  How can we lose??

3. BAIL OUT THE PEOPLE LOSING THEIR HOMES, NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WILL BUILD AN EIGHTH HOME. There are 1.3 million homes in foreclosure right now ... So instead of giving the money to the banks as a gift, pay down each of these mortgages by $100,000.
Yes.  Because in addition to paying for my own $90,000 house I want to pay $100,000 toward some other idiot's mortgage because said idiot was too stupid to understand things like "you actually have to pay this off" and "balloon payment."  Yes, there are predatory lenders out there.  Yes, the price of housing is high.  But you know what?  There's this thing called "buying what you can afford."  I'd love to live in a $500,000 house as well.  But if my monthly take-home pay is $3000 a month and the mortgage payment is $3500 a month, there's a problem.  Especially if I'm encouraged to "self-declare" my income so I don't have to prove I'm able to afford the house.
This one burns me in particular because I did things the right way.  I got a fixed rate mortgage, I bought the house based on what I could afford from debt-to-income ratio and got a payment within guidelines for what housing should cost.  So the notion of rewarding people for getting mortgages they never should have had is repugnant to me because, in essence, I'm being punished for my lack of foolishness.

More to come...
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: reimero on October 02, 2008, 08:40:09 AM
(Skipping 4 because I need to research that more fully)

5. ALL REGULATIONS MUST BE RESTORED. THE REAGAN REVOLUTION IS DEAD. This catastrophe happened because we let the fox have the keys to the henhouse. In 1999, Phil Gramm authored a bill to remove all the regulations that governed Wall Street and our banking system. The bill passed and Clinton signed it.
Ah, one of my favourite ploys: make it look like bipartisan culpability is partisan culpability.  This is obviously a Reagan problem because Bill Clinton signed the GOP-authored bill.  Wait, what?  And then he says that Bill Clinton can lead the fight to repeal the bill he himself signed?
I'm not against regulation when it makes sense, don't get me wrong.  I just find this one an excellent example of Moore's crack-smoking "logic."

6. IF IT'S TOO BIG TO FAIL, THEN THAT MEANS IT'S TOO BIG TO EXIST.
Wrong.  No company is too big to fail.  And if there's a legitimate competing company, you can't use the antitrust crutch.
Laws must be enacted to prevent companies from being so large and dominant that with one slingshot to the eye, the giant falls and dies.
Because it is absolutely imperative that we stifle success and limit entrepeneurship.  OMG how dare you succeed!?!?!?

7. NO EXECUTIVE SHOULD BE PAID MORE THAN 40 TIMES THEIR AVERAGE EMPLOYEE, AND NO EXECUTIVE SHOULD RECEIVE ANY KIND OF "PARACHUTE" OTHER THAN THE VERY GENEROUS SALARY HE OR SHE MADE WHILE WORKING FOR THE COMPANY.
Because the compensation of employees in private companies is a federal matter.  :roll:

8. STRENGTHEN THE FDIC AND MAKE IT A MODEL FOR PROTECTING NOT ONLY PEOPLE'S SAVINGS, BUT ALSO THEIR PENSIONS AND THEIR HOMES.
Nothing says "let's strengthen Wall Street" like saying "let's encourage people to pull their money out of the stock market and put it in FDIC-insured institutions."

9. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH, CALM DOWN, AND NOT LET FEAR RULE THE DAY.
Start by looking in the mirror, tardburger!

10. CREATE A NATIONAL BANK, A "PEOPLE'S BANK."
Andrew Jackson would roll over in his grave.  You know, we had a national bank once, and it was a highly controversial affair.  Ultimately, the Marshall Court decided that a national bank was valid under the "Necessary and Proper" clause of Article I of the Constitution, although it could be argued that the Constitutional basis for the bank has been superceded by the IRS, Federal Reserve and similar institutions which can accomplish the same functions.
At any rate, the Bank of the United States folded when Andrew Jackson (a staunch opponent of the bank) ordered the Secretary of the Treasury to withdraw all federal funds from the bank, thus forcing the bank to close.  In short, we've been down this path before, and it didn't work out.
Here's a better idea: lower the barriers to nonprofit credit unions.  They do the same thing, but they already exist and they don't involve the government.  We all win!
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: Joe Sixpack on October 02, 2008, 09:26:17 AM
You are so, so wrong and misguided.  Michael Moore is not a big fat douchewaffle.  He's a giant socialist weasel.

(http://firstfriday.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/team-america-michael-moore.jpg)

He probably should curl up and die though.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: xolik on October 02, 2008, 12:14:27 PM
Michael Moore fat
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: Min on October 02, 2008, 04:02:28 PM
Quote
d) 25% of major U.S. corporations currently pay NO federal income tax. Federal corporate tax revenues currently amount to 1.7% of the GDP compared to 5% in the 1950s. If we raise the corporate income tax back to the level of the 1950s, that gives us an extra $500 billion.
It's not about the tax rate, dumbass.  It's about tax shelters.  There's also this minor detail that if you try to tax too hard, corporations will pack up their toys and move overseas, leaving us with less revenue AND higher unemployment.  Sign me up!  How can we lose??

Also...

"Corporations" don't pay taxes.  Stock holders pay the taxes when they get less dividends, Employees pay the taxes when they don't get a bonus, consumers pay the taxes when they buy the products at a higher price.

So when "Carmax" has to pay higher taxes.  I get less money when I retire, I get less money when Enrique gets no bonus and I get less money when I go to buy my next car.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: Demosthenes on October 08, 2008, 06:47:09 PM
MATT DAMON!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: reimero on October 09, 2008, 11:24:01 AM
MATT DAMON!!!!!!!!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: Stitch on October 13, 2008, 11:15:25 AM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig
I was thinking of the exact same video.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: MoonLover on October 16, 2008, 05:17:59 AM
I love the fact that one man is fat enough to be considered both a Douchewaffle AND a Tardburger. There are a great deal of people who worship the ground he walks on (and there's quite a bit of that.) So is there absolutely no right in his ramblings?

I'm not pro-douchewaffles, I'm just not completely anti-tardburgers.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: reimero on October 16, 2008, 07:34:49 AM
I love the fact that one man is fat enough to be considered both a Douchewaffle AND a Tardburger. There are a great deal of people who worship the ground he walks on (and there's quite a bit of that.) So is there absolutely no right in his ramblings?

I'm not pro-douchewaffles, I'm just not completely anti-tardburgers.

In most statements, there is at least a kernel of truth.  The problem with Michael Moore is that while he starts with some basic facts and truths, he's notorious for lying by omission or for jumping to conclusions he has no right to jump to.  The now-famous pastafarian graph proving that global warming is the cause for the decline in piracy is actually fairly consistent with Moore's methods.  Similarly, if there are any facts in evidence that call Moore's hypothesis into question, he's very good at pretending they don't exist.

In a very real sense, Michael Moore is no better than a Leni Riefenstahl, except for that not being a Nazi bit.  But he's no more a documentary filmmaker than she was (and she was damned good at what she did!)
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: BizB on October 16, 2008, 07:39:11 AM
s/Michael Moore/Rush Limbaugh/

Works on both.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: RubberFingerStan on October 30, 2008, 11:50:22 PM
"We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. hame on you. Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up." --Michael Moore, in his 2003 Academy Awards acceptance speech

The man is making money off the same shit that he feuds against.
Where would he be if the US was perfect?
In a dumpster with nappy-rags stuck to his ass, and garbage slime drooling off his chin.

Plonker!
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: ivan on October 31, 2008, 09:57:15 AM
graph proving that global warming is the cause for the decline in piracy

Actually, the converse is true.


Quote
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. (http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/)

Pastafarians promote the proliferation of pirates as a control on global warming.
Title: Re: Michael Moore is a big fat douchewaffle who needs to curl up and die.
Post by: 12AX7 on October 31, 2008, 01:19:12 PM
(http://www.musichouse.biz/desktop/images/smilies/rasta_banana.gif)

I would never have believed there was an opportunity to use that smilie in context.