Topic: Abortretryfail's comedy routine of the day (Read 7116 times)

abortretryfail · « **on:** May 12, 2006, 03:15:41 PM »

So I’m a huge comedy fan and I thought I’d start this thread to share some of my favourite routines with y’all. I doubt I’ll get to it every day, but I’ll try to get to it at least a few times a week. Here’s the first installment:

Listen to Marketing & Advertising by Bill Hicks : http://www.napster.com/player/tracks/12409846

(to listen to it you have to do a quick register w/ Napster, just need an e-mail address)

ivan · « **Reply #1 on:** May 12, 2006, 04:54:55 PM »

NO. I WILL NOT REGISTER WITH NAPSTER.

POST SOMETHING FUNNY!

LIKE I TYPE 120 WORDS PER MINUTE, BUT IT'S IN MY OWN LANGUAGE!

There, I did your work for you.

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #2 on:** May 12, 2006, 07:01:14 PM »

Quote from: ivan

I TYPE 120 WORDS PER MINUTE, BUT IT'S IN MY OWN LANGUAGE!

There, I did your work for you.

LIAR! MITCH HEDBERG DID THE WORK THERE!

On another note, why all the crappy posts recently? (Not talking about you Ivan)

Edit: It kills me every time I type Ivan with an 'i'.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #3 on:** May 12, 2006, 07:16:04 PM »

Quote from: Crystalmonkey

On another note, why all the crappy posts recently?

Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing myself. It's almost like weeding a garden.

abortretryfail · « **Reply #4 on:** May 17, 2006, 04:40:44 PM »

Hey, I take offense. Just because you are too sissy to quick reg. with napster doesn't mean my post sucks. I have excellent taste in comedy and will provide plenty of examples. I just don't know of any other way to provide them without using NapsterLinks. I could post the text of the routine here - but seeing how badly you butchered Mitch Hedberg I'm not about to.

Currently this gentleman is my favourite male comedian: Listen to American Dream by Eddie Izzard : http://www.napster.com/player/tracks/15219604

ivan · « **Reply #5 on:** May 17, 2006, 04:51:50 PM »

Quote from: abortretryfail

Hey, I take offense. Just because you are too sissy to quick reg. with napster doesn't mean my post sucks. I have excellent taste in comedy and will provide plenty of examples. I just don't know of any other way to provide them without using NapsterLinks. I could post the text of the routine here - but seeing how badly you butchered Mitch Hedberg I'm not about to.

Listen, you little twerp: you call ME lazy? Linking to third-party sources for your content? Why not do a little work and actually write something worth reading? And what... in... the... world has ME mangling Mitch Hedberg have anything to do with YOU cutting and pasting?

YOUR ABILITY TO FORM A LOGICAL THOUGHT IS ZERO! ZERO, I SAY!

Besides, that wasn't a Mitch Hedberg reference, but a Detta reference.

Pay attention.

ivan · « **Reply #6 on:** May 17, 2006, 04:55:39 PM »

And the MAIN reason I object to your method of posting is that it is not possible for everyone to follow such links. Many of us actually work for a living and check in here during, say... uh... lunch breaks. Yeah, that's it -- lunch breaks. I, for one, have no speakers. Also, if I leave a bunch of napster links in the logs, people will look at me funny, seeing as how I work for the industry that originally sued napster into submission.

So FUCK YOU, PAT!

ivan · « **Reply #7 on:** May 17, 2006, 04:58:11 PM »

Leech.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #8 on:** May 17, 2006, 06:52:45 PM »

Yeah those perpetual lunch breaks are the shit!

ivan · « **Reply #9 on:** May 17, 2006, 06:56:39 PM »

And fattening, too!

abortretryfail · « **Reply #10 on:** May 18, 2006, 06:21:32 PM »

Quote from: ivan

And the MAIN reason I object to your method of posting is that it is not possible for everyone to follow such links. Many of us actually work for a living and check in here during, say... uh... lunch breaks. Yeah, that's it -- lunch breaks. I, for one, have no speakers. Also, if I leave a bunch of napster links in the logs, people will look at me funny, seeing as how I work for the industry that originally sued napster into submission.

So FUCK YOU, PAT!

Perhaps you should think about purchasing some headphones.

Look, seriously, someone tell me of another way to direct link to live listenable comedy (though that alone seems to be what you are objecting to, that it's audio rather than text), for free, with a decent library, and I'll do it.

Until then, bite me, or stop responding: This is currently my favourite George Carlin routine, but it's a hard choice, the man's got a 45+ year career: Listen to Advertising Lullabye by George Carlin : http://www.napster.com/player/tracks/13782351

hackess · « **Reply #11 on:** May 18, 2006, 06:38:30 PM »

The point, arf, is that I doubt any of us are willing to sign up with Napster just to listen to someone else's comedy routines -- many of which we've heard a dozen times. (G-d knows no one here has EVAR listened to Eddie Izzard...)

So, if you're going to continue calling it "abortretryfail's comedy routine of the day," try something original. Write your own.

Also, "bite me, or stop responding" to a regular will get you smacked, either by a mod or the regular. Whichever's funnier.

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #12 on:** May 18, 2006, 07:37:35 PM »

Quote from: catwritr

Also, "bite me, or stop responding" to a regular will get you smacked, either by a mod or the regular. Whichever's funnier.

Pics! Pics!

TheJudge · « **Reply #13 on:** May 19, 2006, 11:33:08 AM »

ivan · « **Reply #14 on:** May 19, 2006, 12:31:27 PM »

Quote from: abortretryfail

Perhaps you should think about purchasing some headphones.

Some work environments are condusive to headphones. Mine is not.

ivan · « **Reply #15 on:** May 19, 2006, 12:35:47 PM »

Quote from: abortretryfail

Until then, bite me, or stop responding:

For someone who apparently spends all his time leeching 30-year-old comedy routines (which by the way I heard the first time before you were born), you sure have a lousy sense of humor.

Dickweed.

TheJudge · « **Reply #16 on:** May 19, 2006, 12:37:02 PM »

All right all right the point was made. That's enough.

ivan · « **Reply #17 on:** May 19, 2006, 12:50:52 PM »

Dang, just when I was really getting going!

Anyway, a.r.f., I didn't mean half of what I said. Sorry if I caused undue pain and anxiety.

Min · « **Reply #18 on:** May 19, 2006, 01:47:23 PM »

Meet me in the forum. It's goin' down.

Min · « **Reply #19 on:** May 19, 2006, 01:48:06 PM »

Does anyone get that reference? I hang out with 12 year olds all day.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #20 on:** May 19, 2006, 03:24:13 PM »

My understanding of goin' down is probably completely different :knotty

abortretryfail · « **Reply #21 on:** May 19, 2006, 09:07:04 PM »

none of the routines I posted were 30 years old. And, you are right, because I am using Napster I am limited to things that have been released on an album, and therefore everything's at least a little bit old. My idea was to pay tribute to the giants and classics before moving on. I'm sure everyone's heard of this lady too because of her comedy central play, but I have been a fan for a long time:

Listen to Hollywood Standards by Maria Bamford : http://www.napster.com/player/tracks/15209170

Look, once again: *I'm* not registered with Napster. What I'm taking advantage of is their new NapsterLinks advertising scheme where you can turn anything in their library into a link which can be listened to up to five times. To me this means: free web-based audio to be taken advantage of as much as possible before they move on to their next crazy scheme.

Levy · « **Reply #22 on:** May 20, 2006, 06:35:54 AM »

Quote from: abortretryfail

none of the routines I posted were 30 years old. And, you are right, because I am using Napster I am limited to things that have been released on an album, and therefore everything's at least a little bit old. My idea was to pay tribute to the giants and classics before moving on. I'm sure everyone's heard of this lady too because of her comedy central play, but I have been a fan for a long time:

Listen to Hollywood Standards by Maria Bamford : http://www.napster.com/player/tracks/15209170

Look, once again: *I'm* not registered with Napster. What I'm taking advantage of is their new NapsterLinks advertising scheme where you can turn anything in their library into a link which can be listened to up to five times. To me this means: free web-based audio to be taken advantage of as much as possible before they move on to their next crazy scheme.

Look, abortretryfail, It really seems that nobody is interested in your comedy routines...

Now I would personally suggest that you stop your shitty little comedy routines, but as you are reading this you are probally thinking why should I listen to this jerk?

Well you dont have to abortretryfail, I don't command you, but If you want to have friends here that actually respond to your posts with a bit of thourght and purpose, I would start being nice to the regulars and the mods, otherwise you are really going to be 'un'-welcome here.

How does this jerk know? I too was a twat that did'nt want to listen when i first joined this forum, but I listened, I learned of the regulars and mods, and I have changed my ways, I think you should too.

And just think to yourself,
who is being the jerk?

BizB · « **Reply #23 on:** May 20, 2006, 09:50:15 AM »

Quote

How does this jerk know? I too was a twat that did'nt want to listen when i first joined this forum, but I listened, I learned of the regulars and mods, and I have changed my ways, I think you should too.

was?

dcrog · « **Reply #24 on:** May 20, 2006, 10:09:07 PM »

Now why on earth is everyone picking on a.r.f.? Personally I think he/she is living up to his/her name to the utmost.

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