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Author Topic: #HN Bash  (Read 40804 times)

Demosthenes

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #100 on: September 29, 2011, 06:43:03 PM »

This one is from a few years ago, I just ran across it in a text file in which I save such gems (and then apparently forget about them for 3 or 4 years):


<BizB> When I managed a gas station, I had a regular customer who was blind.  He would hold the bill down to the dog and the dog would touch him somewhere with his nose depending on the value of the bill.
<BizB> for example, if it was a single, he would touch his nose to the guy's hand
<BizB> if it was a fiver, he would judge the guy's knee
<Mr_Shifty> whoa
<Mr_Shifty> that's impressive training
<BizB> I could do it
<Mr_Shifty> sure you could
<Mr_Shifty> but you're not a dog
<BizB> HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa breathe HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
<BizB> I meant I could train a dog to do that
<Mr_Shifty> oh
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ivan

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #101 on: September 29, 2011, 07:07:00 PM »

Wow, that really IS old: they hadn't even invented "LOL" yet.
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Re: Haha... price airline tickets !
« Reply #102 on: October 04, 2011, 01:29:20 PM »

Circumscribe ! 
 
Does anyone respect more buying international cheap airline tickets  in Sudan  ? 
 
there meant to be very much cheap there because the design overload reasons 
 
I organize some, but i think this is not second-rate for me: 
 
day cruise to bahamas   
american airlines center dallas texas tickets   
new flights   
spring travel specials   

So tell me, do you also have 25million Viagra pills stored in the Bank of Scotland?
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Demosthenes

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #103 on: December 22, 2011, 03:00:15 PM »

<@Mr_Shifty> step one: cut a hole in the box
<@hackess> step two: put a cat in a box
<@Mr_Shifty> Schroedinger's Dick in a Box?
<@hackess> Excatly
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #104 on: December 22, 2011, 03:51:29 PM »

<@hackess> Mint 11 on my left, Julia to my right. here I am, stuck in the middle of GNU.
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #105 on: December 28, 2011, 04:07:45 PM »

<@Mr_Shifty> This is not the grammar you were looking for.
<@hackess> This is not the grammar for which I was looking.
<@Mr_Shifty> That's what I meant.
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #106 on: December 29, 2011, 04:56:01 PM »

<@hackess> I keep losing my tea
<@Novice> hackess: That sounds like the English version of losing one's shit
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #107 on: December 29, 2011, 05:29:24 PM »

We're just on fire in there lately.  :-D


* Mr_Shifty consults the IT Department magic 8-ball
<@Mr_Shifty> "signs point to no"
<@hackess> ooh, i need one of those for when sales asks for features we don't have
<@Mr_Shifty> we need one for when sales asks dumb questions
<@Mr_Shifty> "HAY, WHY CANT I SEND EMAILS?'
<@Mr_Shifty> "Outlook bad"
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #108 on: January 03, 2012, 04:08:24 PM »

<@Banshee> I like my women like I like my retail stores
< Novice> Full of salesmen?
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #109 on: January 06, 2012, 03:01:30 PM »

(We were in CAPSLOCK MODE today.)

<HACKESS> I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY IOS APPS
<HACKESS> (go)
<MR_SHIFTY> THOROUGHLY VETTED BY APPLE
<HACKESS> FOR LESS THAN A DOLLAR
<MR_SHIFTY> PURCHASED FOR $2.99
<MR_SHIFTY> WITH A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY
<HACKESS> PRONE TO CRASHING
<MR_SHIFTY> USED BY MILLIONS OF OTHER GUYS
<HACKESS> GROUPED WITH OTHER SIMILAR TYPES
<MR_SHIFTY> EASY
<HACKESS> BUILT BY ASIANS
<MR_SHIFTY> *SPITTAKE*
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #110 on: January 06, 2012, 03:20:20 PM »

<@MR_SHIFTY> I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY PIZZA
<@MR_SHIFTY> GO.
<@HACKESS> DELIVERED IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS
<@MR_SHIFTY> GREASY
<@HACKESS> HALF PRICE
<@MR_SHIFTY> FILLED WITH SAUSAGE
<@HACKESS> THIN CRUST AND EXTRA CHEESY
<@MR_SHIFTY> HAHAHA DEEP DISH
< Banshee> EASY TO SWALLOW
<@HACKESS> COLD THE NEXT MORNING
<@MR_SHIFTY> SLICED INTO 6 PIECES
<@MR_SHIFTY> STUCK TO THE LID OF THE BOX
< Banshee> HOT IN YOUR HANDS BUT COLD IN THE MORNING
<@HACKESS> FOLDABLE
<@MR_SHIFTY> LOL
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pbsaurus

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #111 on: January 06, 2012, 03:50:24 PM »

Nice!

You need to put Santorum in one of these.

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #112 on: January 06, 2012, 03:57:55 PM »

Ew, no way. 

Here's one from yesterday that should probably be preserved for posterity.

< Novice> It's not a computer anymore. It's a member of Norton's botnet.
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #113 on: January 06, 2012, 07:41:19 PM »

Imagine a Reese's peanut butter cup commercial

Gingrich:  You got your Santorum on my Gingrich
Santorum:  You put your Gingrich in my Santorum.

*both have a taste and it becomes a redtube viral video*

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #114 on: January 12, 2012, 02:13:24 PM »

<reimero> Here comes the snow, doo doo doo doo
<reimero> Here comes the snow and I say
<reimero> FUCK
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #115 on: January 12, 2012, 03:53:00 PM »

<@reimero> I like my women like I like snow:
<@reimero> go.
<@hackess> Blowing sideways
<@hackess> Piled at the curb
<@hackess> Only around for three months.
<@reimero> Outside.
<@Mr_Shifty> stuck to the bottom of my boots
<@Mr_Shifty> ground up in the front of my snowblower?
<@Mr_Shifty> flavored with raspberry syrup
<@reimero> Down my pants?
<@Mr_Shifty> falling out of the sky
<@hackess> Formed into balls and thrown at my friends.
<@reimero> Frequently found in Canada
<@Mr_Shifty> thoroughly salted
<@Mr_Shifty> on my windshield
<@hackess> Better with hot chocolate
<@reimero> Surrounding frozen ponds
<@hackess> Serving as a portend of hockey season?
<@Mr_Shifty> With my name written in it?
<@reimero> Keeping me home from work!
<@Mr_Shifty> creating hazardous driving conditions
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #116 on: January 12, 2012, 05:15:06 PM »

Ooooh, some of those were Hectar-worthy.

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #117 on: January 12, 2012, 05:54:47 PM »

That's because #hn is a cornucopia of funny.
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #118 on: January 17, 2012, 01:14:54 PM »

<@reimero> Gravy: yes or no?
< Novice> heatsink-goo dipping sauce
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #119 on: January 17, 2012, 01:17:37 PM »

<@Mr_Shifty> I like my women like I like my gravy.
<@reimero> On my meat
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #120 on: January 23, 2012, 11:24:52 AM »

<@Novice> Hi! Welcome to the airport. Radiation or rape?
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #121 on: January 25, 2012, 12:29:22 PM »

* hackess supports stabbing of any kind
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #122 on: January 25, 2012, 01:12:33 PM »

* hackess supports stabbing of any kind

It's true. I'm Editor of the newsletter, even.
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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #123 on: January 25, 2012, 01:21:47 PM »

* pbsaurus subscribes

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Re: #HN Bash
« Reply #124 on: January 26, 2012, 04:53:03 PM »

* Mr_Shifty activates Skynet
<@Mr_Shifty> I for one welcome our new machine overlords
<@catwritr> ahhgh! spiders!
<@Mr_Shifty> </minority_report>
<@Mr_Shifty> better?
<@catwritr> Thx
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