Topic: My landlord is a funny man! (Read 11508 times)

MISTER MASSACRE · « **on:** June 28, 2006, 01:20:07 PM »

I live in an one bedroom apartment in a building that's seen better days.

My water often doesn't work. The elevator in my building scares visitors. My power goes off with the kind of frequency one could expect in occupied Iraq.

I was enjoying one of the power outages about an hour ago when someone slipped an envelope under my door. It was a notice for a hearing about "a rent increase above the guideline".

I had this notice about all the so very expensive upgrades made to my building and how they just *have* to increase rent delivered to me at one of the times it was most obvious how worthless all of these "upgrades" are.

FUNNY STUFF GUYS!

pbsaurus · « **Reply #1 on:** June 28, 2006, 01:24:15 PM »

So you are going to the hearing, right?

Min · « **Reply #2 on:** June 28, 2006, 01:32:24 PM »

Pffff. Nice!

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #3 on:** June 28, 2006, 01:38:12 PM »

Quote from: pbsaurus on June 28, 2006, 01:24:15 PM

So you are going to the hearing, right?

If I'm still living here in August, you bet. I plan on being gone ASAP though.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #4 on:** June 29, 2006, 02:26:42 PM »

Update: power was out again today. Thunderstorms later, so I can expect more of the same.

TheJudge · « **Reply #5 on:** June 29, 2006, 02:38:51 PM »

Did they actually specify what these *upgrades* are?

xolik · « **Reply #6 on:** June 29, 2006, 02:52:44 PM »

Quote from: TheJudge on June 29, 2006, 02:38:51 PM

Did they actually specify what these *upgrades* are?

Larger, more areodynamic rodents?

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #7 on:** June 29, 2006, 03:25:19 PM »

Quote from: TheJudge on June 29, 2006, 02:38:51 PM

Did they actually specify what these *upgrades* are?

1 Environmental (that's as specific as it gets) - $61,368.76
2 Exterior Paint (I saw some wet paint signs, but they were inside...) - $21,293.00
3 Fire Protection (as near as I can figure, this consists of the notices and fire drills we get once a month that always wake me up and piss me off) - $1,221.87
4 Entry System (electronic dongles!) - $16,209.92
5 Elevator Upgrade (it hasn't killed anyone AFAIK, so I guess this one was worth it) -
$5,093.20
6 Compactor - $17,719.20
7 Boiler Upgrades (my water has only been shut off three times this month, which I wouldn't really mind if we had any warning) - $2,520.15
8 Electrical (AHAHAHAHA) - $3,488.20

So you see, they've nicely itemized all the improvements without the improvements themselves actually seeming to do anything.

dcrog · « **Reply #8 on:** June 29, 2006, 04:02:23 PM »

Quote from: Lacerda on June 29, 2006, 03:25:19 PM

Quote from: TheJudge on June 29, 2006, 02:38:51 PM
Did they actually specify what these *upgrades* are?

1 Environmental (that's as specific as it gets) - $61,368.76

That amount and description sounds a lot like asbestos abatement.

Do you have a bunch of plumbing pipes in exposed areas with a hard insulation on them? Although they could be in the basement around the boiler.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #9 on:** June 29, 2006, 05:51:31 PM »

Bwahahaha. Nice avatar, dcrog.

Quote from: Lacerda on June 29, 2006, 03:25:19 PM

6 Compactor - $17,719.20

Tell them that WinRAR is a free download.

dcrog · « **Reply #10 on:** June 29, 2006, 06:13:54 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on June 29, 2006, 05:51:31 PM

Bwahahaha. Nice avatar, dcrog.

I knew you would like it.

Someone suggested a couple of times that I should use it. I'm just a little slow at getting around to things.

TheJudge · « **Reply #11 on:** June 29, 2006, 06:56:49 PM »

Quote from: Lacerda on June 29, 2006, 03:25:19 PM

Quote from: TheJudge on June 29, 2006, 02:38:51 PM
Did they actually specify what these *upgrades* are?

1 Environmental (that's as specific as it gets) - $61,368.76
2 Exterior Paint (I saw some wet paint signs, but they were inside...) - $21,293.00
3 Fire Protection (as near as I can figure, this consists of the notices and fire drills we get once a month that always wake me up and piss me off) - $1,221.87
4 Entry System (electronic dongles!) - $16,209.92
5 Elevator Upgrade (it hasn't killed anyone AFAIK, so I guess this one was worth it) -
$5,093.20
6 Compactor - $17,719.20
7 Boiler Upgrades (my water has only been shut off three times this month, which I wouldn't really mind if we had any warning) - $2,520.15
8 Electrical (AHAHAHAHA) - $3,488.20

So you see, they've nicely itemized all the improvements without the improvements themselves actually seeming to do anything.

Maybe it's more of a working plan. They increase your rent now so that they may implement it later when you move out.

ewomack · « **Reply #12 on:** June 30, 2006, 07:36:40 AM »

Wow. This guy must have graduated with honors from slumlord college. That's positively BRILLIANT!

Does he live in the building? I'm guessing not. Does he ever appear in the building? I'm guessing not very often.

And I agree with the post above that suggested something else going on. A lot of money for some rather vague improvements. If you wake up surrounded by people in white bubble suits scraping the walls sprint don't run to your nearest lawfirm.

jeee · « **Reply #13 on:** June 30, 2006, 08:02:28 AM »

Environmental is always expensive. Thanks to those left-wing environmentalists.

Evonus · « **Reply #14 on:** June 30, 2006, 10:15:39 PM »

Quote from: Lacerda on June 28, 2006, 01:38:12 PM

Quote from: pbsaurus on June 28, 2006, 01:24:15 PM
So you are going to the hearing, right?

If I'm still living here in August, you bet. I plan on being gone ASAP though.

Yeah, after reading that lovely "list of improvements" I think you should be gone. (Especially because the largest improvement was the environmental stuff which usually means less water and heat.)

Also, if you landlord is that big of a sleeze ball he/she is probably not going to give you your security deposit back, so I'd trash the plac (or light it on fire) before you go.

ho0ber · « **Reply #15 on:** July 01, 2006, 06:30:55 PM »

Quote from: Evonus on June 30, 2006, 10:15:39 PM

Also, if you landlord is that big of a sleeze ball he/she is probably not going to give you your security deposit back, so I'd trash the plac (or light it on fire) before you go.

Don't light a fire. The bastard will collect millions for the Ferrari he keeps in his closet and the fine artwork he'll pretend to have, and not to mention a huge amount of money for all of the "improvements" he has just done to the place. I don't know what it is, but this whole place just sounds like insurance fraud waiting to happen.

I say just cherry bomb his toilet.

Min · « **Reply #16 on:** July 01, 2006, 09:29:19 PM »

Hey ho0b.

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #17 on:** July 02, 2006, 08:10:39 AM »

Don't trash it. If he doesn't give it back, just take him to small claims court.

Make sure to take plenty of pictures of how clean it is when you leave, or he might try and make a mess and say it is your fault. ((You may want to take a picture with a newspaper, to make sure the date is known.))

Evonus · « **Reply #18 on:** July 02, 2006, 11:56:15 AM »

Quote from: Crystalmonkey on July 02, 2006, 08:10:39 AM

Don't trash it. If he doesn't give it back, just take him to small claims court.

Make sure to take plenty of pictures of how clean it is when you leave, or he might try and make a mess and say it is your fault. ((You may want to take a picture with a newspaper, to make sure the date is known.))

Take a picture, put it in an envelope, and mail it to a relative. The post office puts dates on everything. That way they'll know when the pictures were taken.

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #19 on:** July 02, 2006, 12:32:20 PM »

Good idea, you could also mail it to yourself.

That way, it stays unopened.

ho0ber · « **Reply #20 on:** July 02, 2006, 11:32:36 PM »

Quote from: Detta on July 01, 2006, 09:29:19 PM

Hey ho0b.

Hey! How's it shaking Detta?

Min · « **Reply #21 on:** July 03, 2006, 07:40:49 AM »

Attractively.

ho0ber · « **Reply #22 on:** July 03, 2006, 07:58:27 AM »

Quote from: Detta on July 03, 2006, 07:40:49 AM

Attractively.

I didn't know there was any other way when you were involved, Detta. But I was looking for something more descriptive, perhaps an equation representing the motion of the shaking.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #23 on:** July 03, 2006, 10:45:16 AM »

Quote from: ho0ber on July 03, 2006, 07:58:27 AM

Quote from: Detta on July 03, 2006, 07:40:49 AM
Attractively.

I didn't know there was any other way when you were involved, Detta. But I was looking for something more descriptive, perhaps an equation representing the motion of the shaking.

No.

Hey ho0b. Good to see you back among us again.

hackess · « **Reply #24 on:** July 03, 2006, 05:38:25 PM »

Hey, h00b. Welcome back!

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