stupid

Lemmee guess. LOTR fan?

The turbolift hissed closed. The clone troopers looked at each other, nodded, and removed their helmets. “I can’t see a thing with this helmet on.” Sorn said as he shook loose his long blond hair. Seth took Sorn’s helmet, made a few adjustments to the webbing, and placed it back on his head. Sorn turn this way and that, looking around the elevator. “Better,” he said, “How’d you do that?” Seth shrugged, saying “I fought for years alongside those guys. It was only a matter of time before I learned more about their gear.”

Valus held up her hands, allowing Seth to remove her binders. She removed her gag, stretching the soreness from her jaws. “So,” she asked, “We are in. What’s our next move?” Seth thought for a minute, then realized. I am just making this up as I go along. How very Corellian of me. He looked to Serena, who was now free of her bonds, and she shrugged. Great. It’s all on me. Seth had no idea what to do. Should they look for survivors? Should they make their way to the nearest security monitor, try and access the holovids and maybe see what exactly happened here? He had never been in a leadership position before, always being led into battle. But this wasn’t battle, it was a reconnaissance mission.

“OK.” He said, pushing the button for the uppermost level, “We check the council chamber, see if we can find any survivors in hiding. From there, we need to find a comm Center, try and contact any Jedi off planet.” They all looked at each other, nodding in unison. Well, my first decision was easy enough. Let’s hope the rest follow suit. Seth checked the charge on his blaster rifle. Full. He had given his twin blasters to Serena, and had tucked his vibroblade in his boot. Sorn fingered his blaster, nervous but alert. Serena was appraising her newly acquired weapons, and Valus was standing loose and ready, her unlit lightsaber held in her right hand.

At that moment, the doors of the turbolift hissed open. A long, plush hallway stretched on for what seemed like forever, ending at a silver blast door at the end of the hall. Seth and Serena took the lead, one covering the other as they advanced down the hallway. Sorn trailed along in their wake, while Valus brought up the rear. As they passed a hallway branching off to the right, Seth stopped, cocked his head, sensing something. A presence, a force signature he recognized all too well. It was Willey, he was sure of it. She was here, close, and in pain.

As he concentrated harder, trying to get a lock on her position, Valus came up beside him. “I feel it too, Seth.” She said, and she took off down the hall at a light jog. Seth followed her, his sense of urgency growing when he sensed Willey’s fear. Serena looked at Sorn, shrugged, and followed them. Sorn, perplexed, had no choice but to accompany them. Valus walked along with her nose held high, as if she was actually trying to sniff Willey out. Seth knew that Bothans possessed enhanced senses, but he wondered if Valus could actually smell her.

As they passed a meditation room, Seth stopped and looked up at an air duct, concentrating on it. Sorn watched, wondering what his Jedi friend was thinking, but didn’t question him, for he had long ago learned that Seth possessed senses that he could not fathom. Valus came up alongside Seth, looking also at the vent covering the duct. They looked at each other, nodded, and Seth went to one knee. Valus leapt onto his back, igniting her lightsaber, she sliced through the thin grillike duct cover, and then squirmed inside. Seth slung his rifle over his shoulder and addressed Sorn and Serena.

“Valus and I have sensed another Jedi, someone wounded and in pain. We think it’s…..Willey.” Sorn didn’t even bother questioning him. He knew that Seth still loved Willey deeply, and that he would rather die than leave her behind. Sorn nodded, saying “We’ll wait in here,” gesturing to a vacant room on the right. “Find her, Seth. We aren’t going anywhere.” He clapped a hand on Seth’s shoulder, and with that, Seth disappeared into the air duct.

Sorn and Serena took off at a light jog down the hallway, in search of a comm center. If there were any Jedi left alive, they had to let them know what had happened here.

The journey to sublevel 5 went uneventful. As Sorn led the way down a dank corridor to the turbolift, Valus fell in step with Seth. “I felt him die too, Seth.” She said. Seth shot her a look, realizing she had meant Master Fisto. Of course she had meant him, Seth thought to himself. Valus, despite lacking grand dueling skills, was more attuned to the force than any other Jedi Seth had ever met, besides Master Yoda. So when the events at the temple had unfolded, she had been hit harder by it than Seth had. Seth felt a pang of sympathy for the Jedi healer walking beside him.

Sensing this, she turned to him and gave him a forced smile. “Do not feel sorry for me, Seth. They are at one with the force.” Seth nodded and quickened his pace, suddenly angry at her. The temple had been attacked, countless Jedi killed, and she was quoting Jedi platitudes to me? Seth had one thing on his mind, and that was to find Willey. He felt her in the force, he still could feel her presence, albeit it was a faint one. She was hurt, dying, or, he hoped, concealing her presence. Valus sensed this and lay her hand on his arm, reaching out with the force, calming him. “Yes, she is alive,” she said. “And we will find her, Seth, I promise.”

Seth allowed Valus to use her calming technique on him, feeling it wash over him, like a refreshing mountain spray. After a few moments, he spoke. “Sorry, Valus. It’s just that all this…..it’s proven taxing.” Valus smiled and caressed his cheek. “No need for apologies, Seth. I am sure all of our questions will be answered in due time.” She reached down and straightened the lapels on his swoop jacket, appraising him as a mother would. Seth was amused at this. All of this death and chaos going on around them, and Valus still found time to play the role of good Samaritan.

They walked a few more meters, coming to a sudden and abrupt stop as Serena held up her hand in warning. She peered down the corridor, scanning the area for whatever had spooked her, then walked slowly back towards Seth and Valus. Sorn had his blaster drawn and was down on one knee, covering them. When she arrived at Seth’ side, she spoke. “Clone troopers, around a dozen, covering the entrance to the turbolift.” Seth reached out with the force, scanning the dark corridor, and sure enough, found them.

13 Troopers, relaxed, but ready to strike in an instant. Serena had not needed the force to sense them, relying on her enhanced senses, mainly her sense of smell and her infrared photoreceptors. Seth considered this a moment, then turned to her. “Ideas?” He asked. Serena spoke without looking at him, her attention focused on the darkness. “Sure,” she said, “Why don’t we just try and sweet talk them?” Seth smirked. That emotion chip Sorn had installed was working overtime.

He turned to Valus, pulling her into the darkness. “Listen,” he said, “Serena and I will handle this.” Valus started to protest, drawing her lightsaber. Seth shook his head and continued. “We need you alive, Valus. If there are Jedi at the temple that need medical attention, you are all we have got. Stay here with Sorn, please.” Valus pondered this for a moment, then reluctantly agreed. Seth gave her a reassuring nod before grabbing Serena by the wrist, leading her towards Sorn.

Sorn must have already known their plan, because he nodded and disappeared into the shadows beside Valus. Seth considered their options. He drew his blaster, checked the charge, saw that it was full. Serena touched his arm, shook her head, and drew two vibroblades. Of course, Seth said quietly. Stealth..

Seth holstered his blaster, drawing his own vibroblade. Together, he and the assassin droid made their way down the corridor as quietly as possible. As they neared the troopers, Seth sensed that one of them turned in their direction. The trooper turned on the foglamp attached to the end of his blaster rifle and scanned the corridor for intruders. Seth and Serena sprang away from each other, to opposite sides of the hall, hiding behind piles of rubble. As the trooper scanned the corridor, Seth shot Serena a quick glance. She was smiling. She enjoyed this.

As the light faded, the trooper returned his attention to his fellow troopers, who were engaged in a conversation about the events at the temple, from what Seth could gather. Seth stepped from behind the rubble, sticking to the shadows, Serena mirroring his every move. Sith, she was good. As Seth neared the troopers, he looked over and gave Serena a nod. She nodded in return, concealing her vibroblades behind her back, stepping out to greet the troopers.

The troopers, sensing her presence, turned as one, bringing their blasters to bear on her. Seeing that she was a lone woman, they relaxed a bit, but still remained on guard. A trooper bearing burnt orange markings on his armor stepped forward, holding his hand up, signaling for her to stop. “Ma’am, this area is restricted,” he said, “I am going to have to ask you to go back the way you came.”

Serena slowed a bit, adding a bit of sexiness to her demeanor. “Easy, boys. Any idea where a lady can get a drink around here?” The troopers lost their focus for a mere moment, and that moment was all that Seth needed.

He sprang out from his hiding place, wielding his vibroblade in one hand, and a regular blade in the other. He buried the vibroblade to the hilt in the lead troopers neck, spinning away, lashing out with the other. The second trooper never saw it coming. The blade found the black latex body glove that covered his neck. Razor sharp, the blade sliced through his carotid artery. Both troopers fell together. Before the troopers could react, two of their number were down. It took them a second to react, and during that time, Serena had leapt among them. Her swipes were lightning fast and as accurate as a surgeon, dropping clone troopers left and right. She and Seth spun and leapt among the troopers, felling them left and right. As Seth downed the last trooper, he turned and saw that Serena was relieving them of their armor. As he prepared to ask why she was doing this, he smiled to himself. Clever girl.

Willey landed her ARC-170 in docking bay 31, noticing immediately that the area was deserted. Not a tech in sight. Weird. She slid off her helmet, running her hand through her hair, which had immediately fell over her forehead. She vaulted out of the fighter, grabbing her flight jacket as she did so. Slipping it on over her black flight suit, she walked over to the nearest maintenance bay.

Nothing. No droids, no humans, not a soul. Feeling uneasy, her hand slipped down to the lightsaber clipped to her belt. She suddenly realized the blaster she had secured in a shoulder holster, a requirement for all pilots. She had never fired it, never even drawn the thing. Walking over to the main office, she saw a single man dozing at his data terminal. She recognized him, what was his name, Kurt? She walked over and nudged him.

“Excuse me….” He stirred, but remained asleep. Willey frowned, prodding him with her fingers harder. “EXCUSE ME…….” The man shot up straight, startled, spilling a cup of caf al over his desk. Embarrassed, flustered, he looked up angrily, and then caught himself when he saw her. “Oh, sorry, Ma’am. Didn’t mean to keep you waiting. What was it you needed?” Willey looked around, gesturing at the empty hangar. “Where is everyone? I just finished my patrol and this place was hopping when I left.” She looked at her wrist chrono, noting the time. She had been here less than four hours ago. The man shrugged, making it clear he knew nothing. “Wish I could tell you. All I know is that a little less than an hour ago, we got a call from the higher ups saying to send everyone home. I only stayed because I am so backed up on paperwork.” He gestured to the many papers he had strewn about his desk.

Willey felt for him. She knew that the chiefs of these maintenance bays had their work cut out for them, and that sometimes the work was hectic. Nonetheless, she wanted answers. Leaning forward, she placed her hands on her hips. “Well, let’s see is you and I might find someone, yes?” she asked. It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. As she slid her jacket back, the hilt of her lightsaber exposed itself. The man saw the lightsaber and his eyes widened. He looked up at her, is tone serious. “You’re a Jedi?” he asked. Willey nodded. “Captain Norsha, 101st defense birds. You’re Kurt, right?” He shook his head.” Kent, Ma’am.” Willey decided she was close enough. “Well, Kent, let’s have a look around, shall we?” She gestured towards the door that let from the bay to the temple itself.

He grunted, got up, and led the way over. Sliding his access card through the reader, the door hissed open, and together they stepped into the Jedi temple. Willey immediately felt it. Chaos. Mayhem. Death, happening here very recently. Edging her way ahead of him, she unclipped the lightsaber from her belt, leaving it unlit, but ready to be ignited in an instant. As she rounded the corner, she saw a body lying on the ground. It wore Jedi robes, and an unlit lightsaber lay a few feet away. She ran over, rolled over the body, and her breath was taken away.

The youth, no more than fifteen and obviously a Padawan, bore a long gash across his chest. The wound was cauterized, sealing the blood inside. There was only one weapon that could have caused this wound, and that was a lightsaber. What the hell? What had happened here? Willey looked down and felt a pang of sympathy for her fallen comrade. She straightened the body, folding the young boy’s hands across his chest. Walking over, picking up the the Padawan’s lightsaber, she activated the blade. The green blade sprung into existence with a SNAP HISS. She extinguished the blade, placing it back into the hands of it’s owner. It seemed fitting that way.

Standing up, she drew her blaster, which she held in her left hand, opposite the lightsaber in her right. She thought about it for a few minutes, then looked at the maintenance chief. “Get out of here, go call for help. Then go home, there is danger here.” The chief nodded, turning tail and running down the hallway. He was not a Jedi, and he had no business here. As he disappeared around the corner, Willey set out deeper into the temple, determined to find out what happened here.


Her keen senses alert, she walked at a brisk but cautious pace. Coming to a turbolift, she palmed the activator. Nothing. Strange, the maintenance droids were very efficient. Shrugging it off, she jogged down the hall to a set of stairs. Taking the stairs two at a time, she emerged in a large reception area. This was where visitors were greeted, non Jedi who came from all over the galaxy to tour the temple. Most civilians failed to realize that the Jedi temple was actually quite the tourist attraction.

Sticking to the shadows, she eased her way around the corner to the right, where she knew a hidden passage lay. With any luck, this passage had a turbolift and a set of stairs that would take her to the same level as the council chamber. Slowing her pace, she gave the corner a quick peek. Deserted, as was the rest of the temple. As she stepped out of the shadows, she saw them.

Bodies. At least half a dozen. Male, female, of varying ages and species. All Jedi. They lay in various locations, all of them sporting blaster wounds. Willey felt the bile rising in her throat, making an effort to force it down. She saw her friend, Aimee Renvin, sprawled across the body of a youngling. It appeared that Aimee was trying to protect the child. Kneeling down at her friends side, she brushed her hair from her face, feeling for a pulse. As she expected, she felt nothing. Looking down, she saw that Aimee had not even drawn her lightsaber.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she stroked Aimee’s cheek. Aimee was a prodigy of Jedi Master Jocasta Nu. Not a talented fighter, Aimee’s strength had been her capacity for knowledge. Master Nu had trained Aimee since childhood to one day take over her duties as administrator of the Jedi archives. Now she was gone, forever.

Feeling the anger swelling inside her, she tried a Jedi calming technique. After a few moments, she was in control again, but just barely. As she rose, she sensed movement behind her. Spinning, she saw a small contingent of clone troopers rounding the corner. Not realizing she was there, they talked amongst themselves. Relieved, Willey called out to them. “Trooper,” she said,” What has happened here?”

The troopers turned as one towards her, and, seeing that she held a lightsaber, opened fire upon her. What? They're firing on me? Before she realized it, her lightsaber was ignited and she was deflecting blaster bolts as they converged on her. Her green blade was a blur, constantly in motion, fending off red plasma energy.

As the bolts started coming more frequently and more accurately, she called Aimee’s lightsaber to her hand. The lightsaber flew from Aimee’s belt to Willey’s open hand, landing with a satisfying SMACK. A millisecond later, the blue blade sprang alive, joining Willey’s as she continued to block the shots aimed at her. After a few seconds, she regained enough composure to start backpedaling away from them, even redirecting a few stray bolts back at the troopers.

One fell. Then another. Then three more. But for every trooper she fell, two or three more took their place. Stepping over the bodies of their dead comrades as if they were nothing, the troopers remained frightenedly focused. As Willey realized that the odds were stacked far too high against her, she sensed movement behind her. Reaching out with the force, she felt another group of troopers emerging behind her. She half turned to see them, and a stray bolt struck her in the left arm.

Crying out in pain, she returned her attention to the initial group of troopers. A second later another bolt found her thigh. Falling to one knee, she rolled left, got to her feet, and backflipped down the hall, TOWARDS the second group of troopers. As she landed, she extinguished her sabers and extended both hands in outward waving motions. Troopers toppled like sabacc cards as she sent them flying with a violent force shove.

Risking a quick glance to her right, she saw the activator plate for the hidden passage. Rolling right, towards the activator plate, she narrowly missed being chopped to pieces as blaster fire chewed up the floor where she had previously been. As she got to her feet, she palmed the plate, and the hidden door hissed open. Diving inside as a few near misses singed her flight jacket, she landed hard on her side, driving the breath from her lungs. Gasping, she rolled in her back, drew her blaster, and blasted the activator plate. The door hissed shut with a loud THUD.

As she lay there, catching her breath, she realized that she had about two minutes until the troopers bypassed the activator plate and found her. Getting to her feet, she limped over to the turbolift, praying it was still operational. As she activated the controls, she got what she expected. Nothing. Looking over to the stairs, she realized that she had no chance of outrunning the troopers, what with her leg wounded. Soon they would have the door open and would kill her.

Looking around, she saw her only hope. A little above head level, a covered duct that led…..well, anywhere but here. She cut the cover away with her lightsaber, then, as the door hissed open a foot, stepped back as the cover to the duct fell to the ground. The door raised another foot, so she fell to the floor and lashed out with her lightsaber, severing the feet of half a dozen troopers. They screamed and fell, even as others pulled them away and even more too their place. Willey stood up and leapt up, calling upon the force to propel her into the duct. She landed inside just as the door opened, the troopers scanning the area for any sign of her. Willey crawled forward a few feet, then, when she came to a vertical branch off, crabwalked upward for twenty feet. As she entered another vertical shaft, she allowed herself to relax. Looking down at her leg wound, she saw that it was not serious. The one on her left arm was also not serious.

Unstrapping the small Medkit from her right leg, she administered a significant amount of Bacta laced painkillers to her wounds. After a few seconds, the pain started to fade, replaced by a feeling of numbness. As the painkillers took hold of her, she felt her eyelids getting heavy. Idiot, you took too much. Oh well, there wasn’t much she could do about it now. She closed her eyes, only for a few moments, then passed out, her last thoughts of her former husband, Seth.

I don't believe it. Someone who is a year older than my mom wouldn't act like this.

Believe it. I embrace my immaturity. I lol every time I hear the word Bewbz.

Seth boarded the air taxi and shoved a handful of credits at the driver. “Take me to the Jedi Temple, fast.” He said. The Driver, eyeing the credits, shook his head. “Haven’t you heard?” He asked, looking at Seth as if he were clueless. Seth shook his head, saying “What, heard what?” The driver punched up a display on his console, and the holonews popped up.

Seth watched as an attractive young lady appeared on the screen. He had seen her before on the holonet, she was the one who announced the lottery numbers every week. The driver adjusted the volume, and her voice came into existence. “What we do know is that there has been an incident at the offices of Supreme Chancellor Palpantine. The republic army has been dispersed to protect the Supreme Chancellor and to maintain order. Details are sketchy, but we have unofficial reports that there was an assassination attempt. All Skycar traffic has been blocked, as well as incoming traffic from off planet. More later on this breaking story, stay tuned for details.”

Seth watched as images of clone troopers appeared, bustling to and fro, directing civilians away from Palpantine’s offices. In the background, he saw a tall lean figure in what appeared to be Jedi robes giving orders to a small contingent of troopers. He could swear that he recognized the figure, but for now he had more important matters at hand. “So there is no way to the upper levels?” He asked. The driver shook his head. “All traffic has been blocked from the upper levels, didn’t you hear? Nope, you won’t be getting out of here anytime soon. Sorry, pal.”

Seth looked out the transparisteel viewport and saw that indeed all air taxis had stopped moving towards the upper levels. Most had stopped altogether, exiting their vehicles and talking amongst themselves. The driver, waving to a group of drivers he apparently knew, exited the air taxi and walked over, leaving Seth alone. Seth sat there a few minutes, considering his options.

He felt the anger rising within him, but then remembered a lesson Master Fisto had taught him early on in his training. “When confronted with a seemingly unsolvable problem, take a moment to sit back and consider all available options, even ones that seem impossible. Think outside the box.” Master Fisto had told him. Seth took a deep breath, sat back, and thought about it. OK…….He had to get uplevel. The most plausible way of achieving this is via an air taxi. That was not an option. He knew that there were hidden passages leading uplevel, places that one could get uplevel if they knew the location of these hidden passages?

But Seth had no idea where to look for them. He had never had the need, what with air taxis being available. Solution? Find someone who knows the area better than he, someone who knows every dark corner and alleyway in the underlevels. And he knew just who to look for. Exiting the taxi, he set out on foot west, towards a cantina a few blocks away. With any luck, he would find the person he was looking for.

Seth knew most of the players here in the underlevels, and Sorn Vastar was one of the most knowledgeable people he had met here. Not trustworthy, definitely shady, but knowledgeable nonetheless. A spice dealer, Sorn was a human from Corellia. Bad luck had landed him here years prior, as he had explained to Seth. Apparently Sorn was the son of a high ranking diplomat, and had been the black sheep of his family for all of his life.

It was during his late teen rebellious years that he had started venturing downlevel, against the wishes of his father. He frequented the seediest of bars and taverns, seeking out trouble. After one particular bad night, his father had decided to stop bailing him out of trouble. Sorn spent a few months in jail, and, upon his release, had discovered that his father had disowned him. Having to adopt a criminal lifestyle, he quickly discovered that he didn’t have it in him to wield a blaster, or to cause bodily harm to another sentient being. So he had met someone who ran spice here in the underlevels, and, much to his liking, he had discovered the pleasures of being a prominent spice dealer.

Women threw themselves at him. He was able to pay bodyguards and thugs to do his dirty work. He was able to be a criminal without getting his hands dirty, which suited him well. Seth sometimes worked for him as a bodyguard. Sorn paid well and he paid on time. As Seth neared the tavern called “The Tusken Tooth”, he slowed his pace and took a look around. He saw a few familiar faces, mostly locals. Satisfied that it was safe to proceed, he entered the tavern and sought out Sorn Vastar.

It was Colonel Mustard in the Study with the Candlestick. DUH!
How old are you Cheech? And where's Chong?

No, it was Betty Boop, with the double headed dildo, in the Hufflepuff common room.


06-09-1970. I'm an old fogey teehee.

Who had black pajamas, Walter?

Anyone here 40 or older?

OK I'll start them here then. I have quite a few matchups in mind, so if I go overboard, pm me.

Shit I just saw that......

Because I'm not a moderator.

I'll check it out.