Topic: A call with my stupid ISP's support people (Read 5096 times)

Demosthenes · « **on:** August 16, 2004, 01:53:03 PM »

My ISP recently started bannering any HTML pages put up on my hosting with them that I pay for.

I just called them to complain about it, and this is the idiocy that resulted.

Me: Hi. I'm calling to lodge a complaint.

Her: Regarding what?

Me: Any HTML document I ftp up to my webspace is being bannered by you guys.

Her: It's being what?

Me: Bannered. Something running on your web server is inserting a stupid banner for your company right after the <body> tag of any HTML document I upload. Since I pay for this hosting, I want that to stop.

Her: (totally perplexed) Um... what city are you in?

Me: I live in [city]

Her: Ah... well we are having quite a few modem problems in that area, so--

Me: This has nothing to do with my modem.

Her: Well if you let me finish, like I said, we are having problems in your area, so if you could give me your name and number--

Me: You aren't listening to me. My modem works fine. My internet connection works fine. My email works fine. Everything is fine.

Her: What then is the problem?

Me: I already told you. Your stupid web server is running some sort of script that inserts BANNER ADS on my personal webpages. I would like that to stop, please. I don't pay for hosting only to have you idiots advertising on my webpages.

Her: How many lights are blinking on your modem?

Me: IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MODEM.

Her: I'm afraid I don't know--

Me: Look... do you have a browser? Internet access? From where you sit right now?

Her: Yes, but--

Me: Open up Internet Explorer and go to this address: http://users.[myisp.com]/users/me/index.html

Her:

Her:

Her:

Her:

Her:

Her:

Her:

Her: I don't have that.

Me: What do you mean you "don't have that"?

Her: I don't have that address here. What is your account number?

Me: Look, just go to that URL and I'll SHOW you what I'm complaining about.

Her: URL?

Me: *sigh* URL. Universal Resource Locator.

Her:

Her:

Her: I don't know what that is.

Me: Obviously. I apologize... silly me. I forgot that there isn't anyone at my internet provider that is actually familiar with the internet.

Her: Sir, if you'll just tell me what the actual problem is, maybe we could--

Me: I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY. Banner ads. On MY webpages. On MY webspace. That I pay for on YOUR servers.

Her: What browser are you--

Me: It doesn't matter what browser I'm using. They show up in every browser.

Her: Well maybe your network settings are not configured properly--

Me: All right, stop. Why don't you just have somebody call me back that knows what they're doing. This is my number and extension: [work number and extension].

Her: Sir, we can't troubleshoot connection problems with your home internet connection unless we can talk to someone that's actually in your home.

Me: I'M NOT HAVING CONNECTION PROBLEMS. For the last time, this has NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. Just have someone call me.

*click*

reimero · « **Reply #1 on:** August 16, 2004, 01:56:37 PM »

That level of incompetence... I mean... my gawd!

Kryzec · « **Reply #2 on:** August 16, 2004, 01:57:24 PM »

Amazing. There isnt any competitors to your ISP around?

hackess · « **Reply #3 on:** August 16, 2004, 01:58:22 PM »

I am absolutely amazed as to how these people can be so clueless about what they're supposed to help other people with.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #4 on:** August 16, 2004, 01:59:22 PM »

Quote from: Kryzec

Amazing. There isnt any competitors to your ISP around?

Unfortunately, where we just moved last October, no. There aren't any.

Which is probably why they're so incompetent. They have no incentive to actually perform with any reasonable level of competence.

reimero · « **Reply #5 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:08:30 PM »

Maybe you could withold a portion of your monthly payment for permitting them use of banner ads?

The_FOO · « **Reply #6 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:10:02 PM »

Wow... that's impressive. Thankfully 90% of our CSRs are work actuallly know someting about the internet. They even get 2-3 weeks of training covering all sorts of things like wep site, email, ftp, dns.

I'll have to tell the people in our training dept about this. It's funny.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #7 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:16:10 PM »

Quote from: The_FOO

Wow... that's impressive. Thankfully 90% of our CSRs are work actuallly know someting about the internet. They even get 2-3 weeks of training covering all sorts of things like wep site, email, ftp, dns.

I'll have to tell the people in our training dept about this. It's funny.

I got a million of 'em. It's pretty much the story of my life.

Quote from: reimero

Maybe you could withold a portion of your monthly payment for permitting them use of banner ads?

Ooooh.... I could just tell them, "In order to have banner ads on my pages, you will need to pay me a flat rate of $15 a month, and I get $0.10 per clickthrough. You can make the check out to..."

The_FOO · « **Reply #8 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:19:53 PM »

Get Law to do up the license agreement. That'd blow them away. Go in and ask to see the boss person and ask them to sign it.

Law · « **Reply #9 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:48:20 PM »

Actually, we'd need to follow-up with a complaint for criminal stupidity though. Ferfucksake, my mother knows what a URL is...

Min · « **Reply #10 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:49:06 PM »

YOU ARE MAKING THIS ALL UP!!

Demosthenes · « **Reply #11 on:** August 16, 2004, 02:58:26 PM »

Heh. "Criminal stupidity". Oh, I wish. I really do wish that one could do that.

Quote from: Detta

YOU ARE MAKING THIS ALL UP!!

No. I wish I were.

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #12 on:** August 16, 2004, 03:00:39 PM »

could you tell me who this ISP is? I'm looking for a job, as from this conversation, it looks like they'll hire anyone.... and they'll give me more money for knowing what i'm doing.

DiscipleOfChaos · « **Reply #13 on:** August 16, 2004, 03:16:33 PM »

Quote from: TerrorDronze

could you tell me who this ISP is? I'm looking for a job, as from this conversation, it looks like they'll hire anyone.... and they'll give me more money for knowing what i'm doing.

Or fire you for making them all look bad.

xolik · « **Reply #14 on:** August 16, 2004, 05:25:01 PM »

Geeze, Demo, I really felt frustrated for you just by reading that. Maybe the janitor picked up instead and was just going along with the script. Or would the janitor actually know more than the support people?

jonny5 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 16, 2004, 07:08:38 PM »

I have to admit that this caused me to laugh... quite long and hard.

dcrog · « **Reply #16 on:** August 16, 2004, 08:55:08 PM »

Demo I'm sorry. But for the last couple of years I've read your rants, listened to your problems, and generally felt sorry for you for the things you've come up with. In all this time it never hit me until now what with your department of motor vehicles, isp's, telemarketers, politicians, clients, and whatnot that there is a simple explanation for all of these things.

You my friend are quite simiply a stupidity magnet. No let me take that back. You are a stupidity super magnet.

The only problem with this is that there may be no cure. Although for my part I have enjoyed all the misery it has caused you. And I look forward to any updates you can come up with.

hackess · « **Reply #17 on:** August 16, 2004, 08:56:36 PM »

What's that say about all of us, dc?

dcrog · « **Reply #18 on:** August 16, 2004, 09:19:20 PM »

Heheh. I didn't look at it that way cats (sorry couldn't resist since you set it up so well).

But at any rate I never, ever not even once said I was attracted to him.

Min · « **Reply #19 on:** August 16, 2004, 10:01:14 PM »

Uh...I'm not attracted to him either! Nope, not one bit. Not me. No stupidy here, I tell ya! Not at all.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #20 on:** August 17, 2004, 09:25:03 AM »

todda · « **Reply #21 on:** August 17, 2004, 12:33:26 PM »

The_FOO · « **Reply #22 on:** August 17, 2004, 04:41:21 PM »

I'm lost. I think there was a joke in there somewhere, but I appear to have missed it.

I think it was the actual work I had to do today.

ho0ber · « **Reply #23 on:** August 17, 2004, 04:46:40 PM »

Quote from: Detta

Uh...I'm not attracted to him either! Nope, not one bit. Not me. No stupidy here, I tell ya! Not at all.

What are lesbian robots attracted to anyway?

Wait.... lesbian robots... hmmm.

Anyway, sorry to hear again that the stupid has got you down Demo. Although I did laugh quiete hard reading it, as always. And then I cried about how pathetic it was.... and then I laughed again.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #24 on:** August 17, 2004, 05:01:42 PM »

Aw, the stupid hasn't got me down.

Most of the ones I share here actually have some entertainment value.

Think how un-funny the world would be without the Stupid at whom to laugh.

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