Topic: The "Absolute Dumbest Questions You've Ever Heard" Thread (Read 59226 times)

dcrog · « **Reply #50 on:** April 24, 2008, 07:32:40 PM »

If they cant see past the bad grammar and spelling and understand it doesn't that make them look stupid?

My contribution to this thread topic.

Vampire · « **Reply #51 on:** April 24, 2008, 09:19:51 PM »

Lmao... I give I am to tired to even try and attempt what little wit I have against you folks...I submit to your power oh so intelligent ones

Dark Shade · « **Reply #52 on:** April 24, 2008, 09:20:51 PM »

No comment.

Chris · « **Reply #53 on:** April 24, 2008, 09:22:30 PM »

Back to the story, go bless you:

"Wasn't this thread supposed to stay on topic?"

Wunderkind · « **Reply #54 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:36:15 AM »

Here's a whole list of them for you guys:

Guest: Can I have the key to 401?

Me: Can I see photo id, please?

Guest: Why?

Me: It's a security policy. I can't give a key to someone whose name is not on the reservation, and I have to see some form of ID to confirm that you are on the reservation.

Guest: Why?

Me: So that I don't hand the key to someone's stalker.

Guest: What?

Me: We are a very high-end hotel. We have many high-profile guests stay with us. Also, it is our policy to protect the privacy of all our guests and provide a safe place for them.

Guest: Whatever, can you give me the key to 401? (still hasn't shown ID)

Me: Can you give me photo ID?

Guest: My name's not on the room. It's my girlfirend's room.

Me: Then you will need to have her call us to put your name on the room, and she will need to provide some proof that the reservation is her's.

Guest: Like what?

Me: Generally I ask for some conformation of the information that was taken upon check in.

Guest: Like what? Listen can you give me the key to 401, or what?

Me: Can you give me photo ID? (No, I don't have a problem sounding like a broken record. Especially to idiots like this.)

Guest: Look, bitch.... It's my girlfriend's room okay? I just want to go up there and say high, give me a key to her room!

Me: Not until you give me photo ID. (At this point I bypass mentioning just knocking on her door, because it's sounding questionable.)

Guest: Look you [insert explicatives here]! Can you give me a key to room 401?

Me: No.

Guest: Why not? It takes ten seconds!

Me: Because it also takes ten seconds for me to call security and I can't do two things at once.

He didn't get it. Security escorted him out. Moral: Don't swear, scream, or curse at the front desk clerk And don't try to catch your girlfriend cheating by asking for a key to her room in a five diamond hotel. We don't just hand out keys to every Tom, Dick, and Harry (Unless your girlfriend took the time to put Tom, Dick and Harry on the res. of course).

Demosthenes · « **Reply #55 on:** April 25, 2008, 09:55:50 AM »

Vampire · « **Reply #56 on:** April 25, 2008, 12:30:28 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on April 25, 2008, 09:55:50 AM

the question asked "which one these buttons is the breaks?"

and "why do you ask that?"

pbsaurus · « **Reply #57 on:** April 25, 2008, 12:49:26 PM »

breaks=what someone should do to your neck
brakes=device that stops a moving vehicle

Vampire · « **Reply #58 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:00:22 PM »

wow you really are angry at me aren't you? honestly what have I ever done to you?

pbsaurus · « **Reply #59 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:02:32 PM »

You sprayed me with your filthy stupid.

Oy the drycleaning bills...

BizB · « **Reply #60 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:12:38 PM »

Why do you think he's angry? Because he corrected you? I thought only people who like you would take the time to correct you or tell you that you have spinach in your teeth. If he was angry, he would have said something mean, like....

Quote

Oh ferfucksake! Quit flailing! You're getting your filthy stupid all over the place!

Let's everyone calm down and give the new guy a chance.

vampire: the newbie section of the forum is flame-free. If you limit your posting activities there and get a better flavor for the site by reading around, I'll make sure that nobody says potty mouth stuff at you. Or, if you're a big boy, you can stand in the fire and prove you don't need a babysitter.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #61 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:13:02 PM »

why can't i -65536 him??

pbsaurus · « **Reply #62 on:** April 25, 2008, 01:17:35 PM »

And for the record I'm not angry with the n00b. You wouldn't want to see me when I'm angry.

Vampire · « **Reply #63 on:** April 25, 2008, 03:50:50 PM »

he said someone should break my neck... you don't say that to someone who you are not angry at!

dcrog · « **Reply #64 on:** April 25, 2008, 04:32:07 PM »

Quote from: ydnamtnediserp on April 25, 2008, 01:13:02 PM

why can't i -65536 him??

I've had the same problem.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #65 on:** April 25, 2008, 04:50:24 PM »

Quote from: Vampire on April 25, 2008, 03:50:50 PM

he said someone should break my neck... you don't say that to someone who you are not angry at!

I do.

Vampire · « **Reply #66 on:** April 25, 2008, 04:51:37 PM »

Well you should see a psychiatrist about that...

BizB · « **Reply #67 on:** April 25, 2008, 09:46:05 PM »

It's the internet. Don't take it personally.

Vampire · « **Reply #68 on:** April 25, 2008, 09:52:59 PM »

I don't trust me with as many death threats as I have gotten over the internet they only make me laugh hell I gave on my address and the dumb fucker couldn't find it on map quest when she was looking right at it... now that is hilarious!! then again I left out the apartment number and they don't know what I look like or my name so yeah... it would have been even funnier if they did show up..

BizB · « **Reply #69 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:03:42 PM »

I really don't know how much longer I can keep my finger off the button.

You'd be popping my geekforum cherry, you know.

Everyone would cheer.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #70 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:10:37 PM »

i dare you, Biz.

Vampire · « **Reply #71 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:11:04 PM »

now why is it you hate me so much anyways??

BizB · « **Reply #72 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:24:43 PM »

I don't hate you. I just find it very difficult to try to read your unpunctuated, endless babble. I try. I really do. I get about as far as the first elipse and I roll my eyes. Then, I scroll down to the next post - which is invariably about how moronic your comments were.

If I'm not taking the time to read it, I KNOW that very few others, if any, are taking the time to read it.

I can't follow you around and translate your posts for you. This isn't a chat room. There is time to read, check, re-read, contemplate and think before you post. Use that time, or I will free up your time for you.

If I had a dime for every time I typed something out only to delete it because it wasn't funny, or it didn't really advance the topic, or it was just mean, I would have enough money to hire someone to post for me. Maybe you should consider trying to out-earn me in that department.

It's the internet. Don't take it personally.

Vampire · « **Reply #73 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:35:17 PM »

wow, so you cant figure out what I am saying? well then maybe someone should have though before bitching at me for agreeing to try and use proper grammar... seriously whoever that was brought my poor grammar upon you so I am sorry... I was going to make an honest effort after the first time I was told to use proper grammar and then someone decided to scold me for agreeing to it because it was forum rules and said i should do it because i should take pride in what i write honestly if you cant read my posts blame them...

ahhh i found the fiend detta... he is the one who scolded me for agreeing to it out of respect for the forum... that kinda screwed the pooch for you guys... sorry

BizB · « **Reply #74 on:** April 25, 2008, 10:46:11 PM »

So, you've decided to disrespect the members of the forum by not making an effort on our behalf? You really think so little of yourself that you'd be willing to represent yourself as a complete idiot online just to spite one member who made a comment about the reason you should make an effort?

I think you need to take a break. I'm giving you 24 hours - that's right, you can't post for 24 hours - to think about why you're here, what you expect to get out of the forum and what you can contribute to the forum.

If you decide to come back, please consider that this is the only warning you'll get.

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Author Topic: The "Absolute Dumbest Questions You've Ever Heard" Thread (Read 59226 times)