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  • (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)
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Author Topic: Internet.txt  (Read 56780 times)

ivan

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #125 on: May 06, 2010, 12:05:39 PM »

I only read all of this because you wrote it.

Now, I have one question.

lolwut?


Maybe there's a CliffsNotes guide.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #126 on: May 06, 2010, 01:09:38 PM »

Oops, looks like Novice got in before me, but here goes anyway:

I bet your cousin would argue that it's you who is actually lost.

In a nutshell: God deliberately created man a heathen so that man could naturally acquire enlightenment, rather than be force-fed The Truth. This way, by observing man's learning process, God would gain understanding of what it is like to be a mortal. So, man's path to enlightenment evolved from pan-deism and atheism to, finally, The Truth. However, this does not mean that God is somehow "created" in man's mind, because the knowledge of God came from God, and was merely found by man. We know this because EVERYTHING comes from God, because God is everything. Us atheists are unenlightened throwbacks, and true believers like your cousin are intellectually evolved. In between us throwbacks and your enlightened cousin are a bunch of people preoccupied with studying religion (i.e., man's imperfect version of The Truth), instead of just knowing The Truth. In other words, philosophers are no more enlightened than heathens.

I don't know how your cousin squares this with a literal interpretation of the Bible, where, you might remember, God pretty much bludgeons Adam, Eve, and various ensuing Israelites with The Truth.

Wow, thanks.  That's a really elegant translation.  Why didn't he just SAY that?


Quote
By the way, is this the cousin that knows Danny Trejo?

Nope.  The cousin of mine that knows Danny Trejo is this one.  The God freak is a different cousin.
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ivan

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #127 on: May 06, 2010, 01:36:19 PM »

The cousin of mine that knows Danny Trejo is this one

Neat-o!
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #128 on: May 06, 2010, 02:27:09 PM »

Oops, looks like Novice got in before me, but here goes anyway:

It was a necessary clarification of my terrible writing style.

I don't know how your cousin squares this with a literal interpretation of the Bible, where, you might remember, God pretty much bludgeons Adam, Eve, and various ensuing Israelites with The Truth.

Obviously, God did that on purpose to make us rebel, make some shit up on our own but come back to The Truth later once we realized we don't know nothing.

It's so simple!
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Joe Sixpack

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #129 on: May 06, 2010, 02:31:06 PM »

I think he's saying that his Christian monotheistic religion is a result of evolution.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #130 on: May 06, 2010, 02:33:00 PM »

Yeah.  Not a very sound argument.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #131 on: May 06, 2010, 02:59:22 PM »

A PLANET WHERE APES EVOLVED FROM ATHEISTS?!?!?
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #132 on: May 06, 2010, 03:33:24 PM »

Quote
Why didn't he just SAY that?

Why should he use fewer words when he can use more?
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #133 on: May 28, 2010, 11:49:39 AM »

Regarding President Obama sending troops to the Mexcian border:

Quote
These are gay solders (why do you think he's trying to get rid of,'Don't Ask, Don't Tell?' Recruitment that's why!) who have been trained at FEMA death camps to be fanatically loyal to Obama and his Muslim Communist agenda. There not going to secure the borders it's just a cover. There actually going down there to welcome their illegal brethern and help get them inside the country.

Many of them will actually be from the Kenyan army, where Obama is secretly emperor, and there going to go all across the country raping white women until there are no whites left. Then when everyone is coloured Obama knows he can make himself president for life. That's stage one.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #134 on: June 16, 2010, 01:54:18 AM »

BERLIN (Reuters) – A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell's Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #135 on: June 21, 2010, 05:29:28 PM »

Quote
Let's say you're on a boat. It's a cheap little powered speedboat, and you're drifting somewhat aimlessly with your dog in the middle of a pristine lake in Northern Ontario (for whatever reason). The sun is starting to set, and you're working through a case of beer slowly while absently casting lines. The sun is reflecting off the water beautifully, the mosquito are hours from coming out, and you've got a cheap little radio playing 80s country-rock in the background. Just a general Podunk good time.

After some time on the lake passes, you notice that your boat has been drifting closer to a houseboat with a small family aboard, having a few drinks of their own, barbecuing and just generally doing boat stuff. Your dog barks, and the passengers absently look off into your direction - one of them even waves to you, and you wave back.

Around this point, your long-ignored bladder steals your attention - you need to piss. Do you

(a) Face away from the houseboat, and pee into the lake

(b) Face away from the houseboat, and fill up an empty bottle,

(c) Lay as flat as you possibly can across the benches of your boat, grab your dick, and just star pissing all over yourself, creating massive arcs above you, letting your piss fall all over you, allowing your piss to collect in your clothes, in your fishing gear, in your dog's fur, in your fucking face, and at last pooling in the the boat under you, ending the display by smiling at the houseboat, waving, and then cast another line.

Sub-poll: If your answer is (c), please explain how you fucking came to that decision, because that fuck didn't explain shit.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #136 on: June 21, 2010, 05:31:35 PM »

lol... 'sub pole'
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12AX7

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #137 on: June 25, 2010, 03:48:55 PM »

Quote
Wow Jkope best I remeber reading experts built the Titanic and a Amature built the Ark, Fisrt if you dont know nothing about pipe fitting dont critize any one who does the Idea of a valve would had been great , it would work! if not for what was comming out would be Hazard to try and weld for the valve would prevent blow back and that is a problem they now have I am sure but the valve in place and a little of you'll BS should seal it up pretty good by applying the BS to the outer ring that is leaking and allowining the oil releasing to create a suction that would pull your BS tight and seal it off when the seal is pretty well shut turn the valve off bS IS CAN BE A PLASTIC NONE DEGRADABLE BY A DEMOCRATE OR PETROLEM BASE SUBSTANCE.
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Wunderkind

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #138 on: June 25, 2010, 10:20:42 PM »

Quote
A PLASTIC NONE DEGRADABLE BY A DEMOCRATE
HECTAR!
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #139 on: June 27, 2010, 08:46:07 PM »

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you
doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #140 on: June 28, 2010, 11:40:46 AM »

If only it worked like that.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #141 on: June 28, 2010, 12:51:01 PM »

Ahh, that's what I've been missing!
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #142 on: July 03, 2010, 09:45:40 AM »

I do not like this Uncle Sam,
  I do not like his health care scam.
  I do not like these dirty crooks,
  Or how they lie and cook the books.
  I do not like when Congress steals,
  I do not like their secret deals.
  I do not like this speaker, Nan ,
  I do not like this 'YES WE CAN.'
  I do not like this spending spree,
  I'm smart, I know that nothing's free.
  I do not like your smug replies,
  When I complain about your lies.
  I do not like this kind of hope.
  I do not like it, nope, nope, nope!
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #143 on: July 12, 2010, 08:26:41 PM »

Quote
Ronnie      33 minutes ago      Report Abuse

yaw are a bunch of dummy's and think you now it all. got. a leek just plug it. you dame basters and quit trying to retrieve it plug the leek ,mud is not the way how a bought a are bag for big truck made extra strong and filed with cement to the walls of the pipe look i dont care just put a stopper in it it is that simple..


 This dude VOTES.
 :-(
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xolik

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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #144 on: August 02, 2010, 12:06:09 PM »

Quote
today i worked up the courage to actually speak to josie in aisle 3
she kept saying things like, "did you find everything you needed sweetie?" and "here's your receipt, thanks hon!" i just smiled shyly and muttered thanks before i turned away. oh, why do i have to be so shy?

but her words played over and ever in my head. there's no way she'd say them to everyday average people; that would be too unprofessional. no, she was totally hitting on me! why else would she call me those endearing names?

well, i waited across the street from the parking lot after the store closed, and through the branches of the tree i saw her--the glorious woman that loved me but couldn't say so while on the job.

i saw her get into a 2001 blue taurus and head off to the west side of town. i followed as far as i could, but then i saw her turn left on aspen street. the next night, i waited down aspen street, and sure enough saw her blue taurus drive down. this time i was ready with my bike, so i followed her back to an average looking duplex on the corner of aspen and 32nd. this was not the cozy cottage i was envisioning for this majestic goddess of the Blue Vest.

when she went inside and turned on the lights, i crept to the side window where one blind was askew and afforded a partial view of the interior. i stared lovingly at what surely would be my future wife as she idly watched TV and drank a diet pepsi. i made a mental note that i should be seen by her drinking diet pepsi as well.

after about three hours, she got up to go to bed. since i'm a gentleman, i didn't look through her bedroom window, but instead went home thinking of all the things i'd say to her the next day! i'd ask her if she saw iron chef last night, knowing full well she did. oh, and i'd also be holding some diet pepsi.

so i went back the next day and i had a 2-liter bottle of diet pepsi in my basket along with the iron chef nintendo DS game (i figured it made for a better segue into her TV watching habits). there was another guy in line before me, and i was daydreaming about the secret passion between me and josie.

until i heard her speak the following words: "did you find everything you needed, sweetie?"

oh, how my mind raced! what did she mean by that?
was she cheating on me with this large, obviously uneducated jerk?
was she testing me?
was she actually talking to me?

yes, that had to be it! ha, oh how silly i felt when the flash of jealous anger reared, but thankfully cooler heads prevail.

i said, "yes, i got everything i needed, thanks!". that was four more words than i'd ever spoken to anyone in public, and i was feeling flushed.

josie turned her head and simply looked at me. then the man in front of me turned around with a quizzical look and said, "the fuck's your problem? you a retard or something?" then he laughed at his own hateful humor.

instantly my worldview cracked, but it was shattered when i heard a brief giggle emanate from josie's luscious lips. oh why, josie?

everything swam in and out of focus as i furiously blinked away tears of shame and humiliation. my hands let go of the basket of their own accord, and i found myself running out of the store. the last thing i heard was the sound of that....that brute's laughter and josie's chirping. of course she loved him; i should have known from the start that it was never meant to be.

i ran all the way home, burst into my bedroom and buried my face into my squirtle pillow and screamed out all of my anguish and pain. i hadn't been this consumed with grief since princess sally was killed in issue #47 of sonic the hedgehog. fortunately, i was able to reconcile my anguish back then by creating a website proclaiming my love for her. but that was back when i was 20. this time was different.
this was real life.

this is now the eleventh store i can never set foot into ever again. at least this time it's not because of those nazis at gamestop hustling me out for loitering. this time it was for love.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #145 on: August 02, 2010, 12:35:03 PM »

Love Iron Chef.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #146 on: August 02, 2010, 12:38:09 PM »

Did Tacdeho write that?
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #147 on: August 23, 2010, 12:48:32 PM »

Quote
I recently read There is a Monster at the End of This Book by Grover.


I picked it up on a lark, figuring it would by a typical horror/thriller throwaway.

It followed a pretty obvious course through the old cliches of the genre most of the way through, but the ending threw me for a shock that had me catatonic in existential malaise for weeks afterwards.

NOTE: DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT IT TO BE SPOILED!!!

When I found out that the monster in the book was indeed Grover I thought, "My god... it could be any of us."

Yes that's right, the narrator of the book, the kindly and gentle guide through this thrill-ride, was indeed the monster of which he spoke.

This raised many, many questions. It seems from reflection that Grover himself was unaware that he was the monster.

However, in the modern and postmodern likelihood of unreliable narration, it seems that it could just of easily been a clever deception by the monster, to lure the reader into his confidence before springing his trap.

But the question remains. Does a monster know he is a monster? Or does his twisted logic somehow rationalize his monstrosity and allow it run rampant?

Also, if this physically harmless appearance could harbor the monster of the book, doesn't that mean that anyone could be a monster? That "evil has no face" as they say?

Ultimately, it brought me to reflect that one may be a monster and not even be full conscious of the fact. That one may be revealed to be monstrous, but only at the end of a mysterious and terrible life of lies.
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #148 on: December 07, 2011, 01:42:35 AM »

This article is copy/pasted from here:
http://news.yahoo.com/racism-nypd-seeped-onto-facebook-155445616.html

 Pay no mind to the content...  can you believe the author got paid for writing this; someone got paid for proofreading it, the editor got paid for approving it, and someone posted it on the site (for pay) and NOT ONE of them noticed any of the errors?

 Can I get a job here, please?


"Some New York police officier really didn't like being assigned to Brooklyn's West Indian American Day Parade, so much so that they vehemently vented their frustrations on Facebook. So there just like us un-uniformed citizens! Except when an NYPD officer posts on Facebook -- and those posts are tinged with racism -- people behinds your Facebook friends notice. The New York Times uncovered racist messages posted on a now-default Facebook group from September, wich had gone unnoticed those outside the police force until last month. The group was called “No More West Indian Day Detail,” referring to the annual Labor Day weekend parade frequented by the city's African and Caribbean Americans. The group was for "officers who are threatened by superiors and forced to be victims themselves by the violence of the West Indian Day massacre," according to what was posted on Facebook. The racism in some of the Facebook posts seems pretty blatant, but we'll let you judge for yourself:
Related: Cops in NYPD Rape Trial Were Helped by 'CSI'

    "I say have the parade one more year, and when they all gather drop a bomb and wipe them all out."
    "Welcome to the Liberal NYC Gale,” said another, “where if the cops sneeze too loud they get investigated for excessive force but the ‘civilians’ can run around like savages and there are no repercussions."
    "Why is everyone calling this a parade. It’s a scheduled riot."
    "Bloodbath!!! The worst detail to work."
    They can keep the forced overtime," adding that the safety of officers comes “before the animals.” 
    "Hearing New York police officers speak publicly but candidly about one another and the people they police is rare indeed, especially with their names attached."
    "We were widely outnumbered. It was an eerie feeling knowing we could be overrun at any moment."

Two Brooklyn defense attorney happened upon the public Facebook group before it was deleted and saved a digital copy eventually passed along to The Times. While some officiers contacted by the paper deny posting anything, the issues been referred to NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau. "


« Last Edit: December 07, 2011, 02:14:35 AM by 12 »
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Re: Internet.txt
« Reply #149 on: April 28, 2014, 08:57:02 PM »

It's not possible that this thread is really only 6 pages.  1/2 the world is on the interweb now. There's plenty of dum to go around.
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