Topic: Can men & women be just friends? Mk II (Read 4749 times)

gorgeous_si · « **on:** May 09, 2004, 10:34:56 AM »

Quote from: magissa

hey guys im doing research on whether men and women can be friends without attraction getting in the the way.

Quote from: catwritr

I think this is an interesting topic, magissa, and it would've been cool if you hadn't pushed your online thing in our faces without even introducing yourself.

I have a number of friends who are female, and with most of them sex / relationships isn't, and would never be, an issue. I think it's definately a feasible thing - but it depends on the two people.

phyre · « **Reply #1 on:** May 09, 2004, 10:50:16 AM »

Alright. I'll tango.

So what you're saying that you're not attracted to any of them, and if one of them suddenly came available, you would in no way consider furthering that relationship?

gorgeous_si · « **Reply #2 on:** May 09, 2004, 10:55:07 AM »

I did say 'most' ... one of them I'd seriously consider it, but I'm not sure what I'd do. The others I seriously would not want a relationship with. They're all quite beautiful, but I don't feel attracted to them at all.

phyre · « **Reply #3 on:** May 09, 2004, 11:52:58 AM »

Then what you're saying is that if one of them selected you to start a relationship, your feelings towards them would not change?

gorgeous_si · « **Reply #4 on:** May 09, 2004, 12:02:55 PM »

That's exactly what I'm saying - I would feel no differently toward them ... things may become uncomfortable owing to what they had said, but I'm sure we could be mature enough to handle that.

phyre · « **Reply #5 on:** May 09, 2004, 12:08:32 PM »

I have found that I was unable to remain friends with someone I had thought to be "just a friend" who expressed an interest in furthering that relationship. It was very... weird. I found that even though I had expressed no desire for this person, the thought that they might be harboring feelings for me interfered with our relationship.

gorgeous_si · « **Reply #6 on:** May 09, 2004, 12:32:53 PM »

I suppose that could be the case ... but I know that with one of my friends, I once told her that I fancied her (when we'd only known each other a few weeks), but she didn't feel the same. We're really good friends now. With another of my friends, we're often mistaken for a couple - mainly because we're so close, and we sometimes act like a married couple - but we've discussed it, and neither of us have any kind of romantic feelings for each other. We really are like brother and sister, and to go any further in our relationship would virtually be incest!

phyre · « **Reply #7 on:** May 09, 2004, 12:50:57 PM »

I suppose I can understand that. However, in each case, the relationship is more than "friends"- in the first one, you had a definite attraction which eventually morphed into a friendship, and in the second, it would appear that you moved beyond a simple friendship.

I tend to believe that all relationships between men and women have a potential to become something more- that's part of the interplay in a number of friendships. Establishing definite parameters to a friendship before one party or another can push for more helps- it's an insurance policy of sorts.

gorgeous_si · « **Reply #8 on:** May 09, 2004, 01:01:21 PM »

Quote from: phyre

I suppose I can understand that. However, in each case, the relationship is more than "friends"- in the first one, you had a definite attraction which eventually morphed into a friendship, and in the second, it would appear that you moved beyond a simple friendship.

I see what you mean, but I always just think of them as friends / mates ... so I class them as friends.

xolik · « **Reply #9 on:** May 09, 2004, 03:11:42 PM »

This is an easy one for me.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #10 on:** May 10, 2004, 03:22:47 PM »

I can be attracted to female friends and still be friends. Actually I prefer to have attractive friends. I'm married so they know I'm safe.

hackess · « **Reply #11 on:** May 10, 2004, 03:30:02 PM »

I can be attracted to male friends and yet remain just friends. I've even thrown sex into the mix and we're still friends after the physical relationship ended.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #12 on:** May 10, 2004, 06:03:35 PM »

I have a number of female friends (whom I talk to just about as often as my male ones...which is hardly ever nowadays) and I can safely say the chances of any of them becoming more than a friend is approximately zero.

Vespertine · « **Reply #13 on:** May 10, 2004, 11:39:44 PM »

YAY! Good topic! I think the answer is entirely dependent upon the people involved. One of my best friends is a guy. We used to date, and every now and then we still bang the hell out of each other. We are awesome friends and have the best time together, whether we're screwing like rabbits or not. On the other hand, I can see how, if we were different types of people, it just wouldn't work.

Vespertine · « **Reply #14 on:** May 10, 2004, 11:41:15 PM »

Quote from: Lacerda

I have a number of female friends (whom I talk to just about as often as my male ones...which is hardly ever nowadays) and I can safely say the chances of any of them becoming more than a friend is approximately zero.

That's because your creepy alien insect parts won't interface properly with a girl.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #15 on:** May 11, 2004, 08:12:22 AM »

Wait a sec here.

Lacerda's a d00d?

??

Min · « **Reply #16 on:** May 11, 2004, 12:59:17 PM »

Did the other thread really need to be locked? It's a good topic, obviously.

hackess · « **Reply #17 on:** May 11, 2004, 01:00:55 PM »

Ask Judgie. It was locked when I got to it.

Anonymous · « **Reply #18 on:** May 11, 2004, 01:37:14 PM »

I guess I just didn't like the "Hey we're doing a on-line survey over here at this site. K bye! I won't be back!" approach.

The topic itself can generate some interesting discussions which is why this thread exists.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #19 on:** May 11, 2004, 02:48:05 PM »

Good to see you still around Vespertine. I hope all is well.

News:

Recent Forum Posts

Shout Box

Author Topic: Can men & women be just friends? Mk II (Read 4749 times)

Anonymous