Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 934587 times)

dcrog · « **Reply #850 on:** July 07, 2006, 11:35:53 PM »

Ermmmm. Is your colleague a guy, perchance?

hackess · « **Reply #851 on:** July 08, 2006, 11:30:48 AM »

Quote from: dcrog on July 07, 2006, 11:35:53 PM

Ermmmm. Is your colleague a guy, perchance?

Right in one, dc. I also switched into the job I'm currently in from a less techy position and didn't get an appropriate change of salary at the time. We're not doing exactly the same job, but it's pretty close.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #852 on:** July 08, 2006, 01:35:13 PM »

Quote from: catwritr on July 08, 2006, 11:30:48 AM

Quote from: dcrog on July 07, 2006, 11:35:53 PM
Ermmmm. Is your colleague a guy, perchance?

Right in one, dc. I also switched into the job I'm currently in from a less techy position and didn't get an appropriate change of salary at the time. We're not doing exactly the same job, but it's pretty close.

That makes me think of this song of which I used to have a recording.

Penis Envy
by Uncle Bonsai

If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and carlots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day

I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
And soap it and oil it
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge

(chorus)
A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and bitches...

Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomatoes,
And pineapple pumpkins, and gulches and grottos,
And melons and marshmallows...

Gloves and gorillas
Slurpies and slippers
Chinooks and chinchillas...

(chorus)

If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females
I'd pee like a fountain...

If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #853 on:** July 08, 2006, 03:36:20 PM »

What happened to your recording, 'cuz that song's hilarious!

Demosthenes · « **Reply #854 on:** July 08, 2006, 03:42:31 PM »

It was a cassette I had of that album that broke a long time ago.

hackess · « **Reply #855 on:** July 08, 2006, 05:21:47 PM »

I do have an Honorary Penor...

xolik · « **Reply #856 on:** July 11, 2006, 06:36:52 PM »

As I'm jet skiing towards 30 this year, I have decided that my final act of defiance is to get a tattoo. This is something that I'm going to have to research very carefully as, unless I want to pay an assload of money to get it removed, I'm stuck with it for life. So...how much pain can I anticipate? It'll either be on my shoulder or upper bicep area.

ivan · « **Reply #857 on:** July 11, 2006, 06:41:13 PM »

Tramp stamp?

xolik · « **Reply #858 on:** July 11, 2006, 09:28:52 PM »

Quote from: ivan on July 11, 2006, 06:41:13 PM

Tramp stamp?

If that's the pattern that people get over their lower back right above their ass, then no. I'm not getting one of those.

In other news, I just had some guy that I've never met before who works in a totally different department come on to me. He's making small talk with me in the cafe area, walks with me a bit to the parking lot since I was on my way out to finally go home, then gets really embarassed and turns away suddenly for some reason. He was in his gym clothes and I was about to ask him why he's wearing his fanny pack backwards and then it dawns on me...that's not a fanny pack. He's pitching a tent. A large tent. Hence the sudden embarassment and the why he turned away from me so quickly. I pretended not to notice and we went on our separate ways.

The next couple of days should be interesting.

Steelbelly · « **Reply #859 on:** July 12, 2006, 11:52:56 AM »

Interestingly enough (or boringly enough for some), both my wife and I got tattoos within the last few years. She now has 3, as well as a pierced labret (below the lower lip), and Ihave two tats and a pierced tongue.

My wife said she hardly felt any pain at all. For me, I felt pain whenever the needle initially made contact with my skin, but it was bearable. A lot of it is subjective, since everyone has different tolerances to pain. For me, the initial sting was like getting stuck by a small pin, but the rest of it just felt sort of like sunburn (I know, that's an awful description, but it's the closest thing I can think of). Remember that certain areas (around your spine, wrists and ankles, for example) will hurt more than fleshy areas. Make sure the tatoo you want to get is one you can look at in 50 years and not regret!

In my opinion, try a small one first- speak to some tatoo artists (visit a parlour somewhere)- they can be a wealth of information, and look up some tatoo FAQs on Google. In my opinion, researching something is very important before making your final decision. Good luck!

Demosthenes · « **Reply #860 on:** July 12, 2006, 12:25:15 PM »

I have two tattoos. The one on my shoulder was virtually painless. It just felt hot while it was being worked on, and afterward it didn't feel like anything at all (until about a week later, when the normal itchiness of the healing process drove me kinda nuts for a day or so).

The one on my chest hurt like a motherfucker. Every line was an entirely new experience in pain.

So yeah, it does depend on where you get it, and it is subjective, still. I have known plenty of people who have gotten tatts on their chests that say it didn't hurt at all, whereas chest tattoo hurt pretty bad. I have a decent threshold for pain, too, so I'm thinking I just must have a lot of nerve endings where that particular tattoo is located.

Socrates · « **Reply #861 on:** July 12, 2006, 01:46:45 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on July 12, 2006, 12:25:15 PM

I just must have a lot of nerve endings where that particular tattoo is located.

That's what you get for having your nipple tattooed

xolik · « **Reply #862 on:** July 12, 2006, 04:14:09 PM »

Belsazar · « **Reply #863 on:** July 12, 2006, 10:29:55 PM »

pbsaurus · « **Reply #864 on:** July 13, 2006, 12:12:38 PM »

So we're letting pets join now?

Quote

Latest Member: fluffy

xolik · « **Reply #865 on:** July 13, 2006, 01:40:25 PM »

Quote from: pbsaurus on July 13, 2006, 12:12:38 PM

So we're letting pets join now?

Quote
Latest Member: fluffy

It could be the Dreaded Vampire Lord Fluffy.

http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/index.php

pbsaurus · « **Reply #866 on:** July 13, 2006, 02:21:53 PM »

These are fabulous! Thanks for the link.

hackess · « **Reply #867 on:** July 13, 2006, 03:59:09 PM »

Excellent!

xolik · « **Reply #868 on:** July 13, 2006, 05:00:15 PM »

I don't what this is, but I like it.

xolik · « **Reply #869 on:** July 14, 2006, 01:10:52 PM »

My idiot boss keeps crashing into my office every 3-5 minutes and just stares at my screen from over my shoulder. Occasionally, he'll grab my mouse and start reading my email with it while slurping very loudly with his coffee. He's seriously starting to piss me off. Bad enough he thunders in here, look around, make a huge sigh noise and thunders off again without really saying anything. What the fuck is his problem? I'm trying to work here and you come in and take over my mouse to read my fucking work email? If it involved you, I'd have forwarded it to you, you jackass.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #870 on:** July 14, 2006, 01:20:34 PM »

That's creepy

xolik · « **Reply #871 on:** July 14, 2006, 01:28:59 PM »

Quote from: pbsaurus on July 14, 2006, 01:20:34 PM

That's creepy

Not as creepy as him asking me to be in a three way with him and his wife.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #872 on:** July 14, 2006, 03:48:02 PM »

xolik · « **Reply #873 on:** July 14, 2006, 04:51:31 PM »

I'll never view Prince Adam the same way again.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #874 on:** July 14, 2006, 05:32:24 PM »

Yeah I saw that one over at somewhere and still haven't stopped laughing.

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