Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 934665 times)

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3000 on:** March 21, 2008, 12:36:29 AM »

Quote from: canoftuna on March 21, 2008, 12:29:11 AM

Did you ever read Far From the Madding Crowd? I read when I was about 14, and I remember having a giggling fit when Gabriel's flock of sheep all jumped off the cliff. I remember thinking, "Oh, they're just like people. One jumps off and the others follow suit without realizing it."

Never read it, but I have family that owns a herd.

We like to mess around while we're visiting on vacation. If you put a rod a few inches above the ground, blocking the path out of the paddock into the pasture, and let one sheep jump over it, then remove the rod, the rest of the sheep will still jump in the same spot, without even knowing why. When you turn them back into the paddock at night, they still jump over that same damn spot, regardless of whether or not anything is there. They'll continue to jump over air for several weeks, until one them doesn't (I don't know if one is smart enough to finally realize it's not there anymore, or if he just forgets to jump), then they all stop.

Quote

We like to mess around while we're visiting on vacation.

Shit. I just opened this up to all manner of jokes.

canoftuna · « **Reply #3001 on:** March 21, 2008, 12:50:46 AM »

Quote from: Wunderkind on March 21, 2008, 12:36:29 AM

Never read it, but I have family that owns a herd.

We like to mess around while we're visiting on vacation. If you put a rod a few inches above the ground, blocking the path out of the paddock into the pasture, and let one sheep jump over it, then remove the rod, the rest of the sheep will still jump in the same spot, without even knowing why. When you turn them back into the paddock at night, they still jump over that same damn spot, regardless of whether or not anything is there. They'll continue to jump over air for several weeks, until one them doesn't (I don't know if one is smart enough to finally realize it's not there anymore, or if he just forgets to jump), then they all stop.

If I could give you one of those coolio points for this paragraph, I would. I always wish I knew people like you in-person.

Quote

Shit. I just opened this up to all manner of jokes.

Hey, I wasn't going to say anything. Some people have odd sorts of fetishes.

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3002 on:** March 21, 2008, 01:00:34 AM »

Quote from: canoftuna on March 21, 2008, 12:50:46 AM

I always wish I knew people like you in-person.

That, is why, no how much I prefer to remain off-the-grid, I love the internet. If I couldn't be a member here, and talk to other intelligent minds I'd go the way of Poe.

Drink too much absinthe, smoke way too much opium, think way too many dark thoughts, and eventually end the misery myself.

Fortunately, the internet does exist, there is intelligent life out there, and I now have hope for a brighter day. (If only I could find someway to take over the world, then give countries away to the people in this forum...)

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3003 on:** March 21, 2008, 12:26:29 PM »

Quote from: xolik on March 20, 2008, 05:22:17 PM

Nothing boosts the ol'self esteem better than hearing "Damn, Xolik, you've got a little python going!" Guess my working out for the past two months is starting to show.

You've been working your little python out?

Socrates · « **Reply #3004 on:** March 21, 2008, 01:06:16 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on March 21, 2008, 12:26:29 PM

You've been working your little python out?

You don't Demo?

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3005 on:** March 21, 2008, 01:12:55 PM »

Well, not as often as I probably should, but I can disable a laser security system in a museum with it when I need to.

Socrates · « **Reply #3006 on:** March 21, 2008, 03:01:31 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on March 21, 2008, 01:12:55 PM

Well, not as often as I probably should, but I can disable a laser security system in a museum with it when I need to.

At least you've got that going for you.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3007 on:** March 21, 2008, 05:54:57 PM »

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit
their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high
school essays.

These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of
teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,
like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around
the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking
at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with
a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had
disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude
shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the
way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty
bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had
an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another
city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m.
Instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a
sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced
across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from
Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket
fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she
was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel
trap, only one that had
been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, The kind you get from
not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping
on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one
slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3008 on:** March 21, 2008, 06:01:41 PM »

Personal favourite:

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she
was the East River.

dcrog · « **Reply #3009 on:** March 21, 2008, 06:08:46 PM »

I liked that one and this one especially.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one
slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

//Excellent ydman.

ivan · « **Reply #3010 on:** March 21, 2008, 06:32:05 PM »

Some of those are excellent, but I don't believe for one second they were all disingenuously written by highschoolers. Certainly not disingenuously. Certainly not all of them.

Maybe Snopes will tell...

pbsaurus · « **Reply #3011 on:** March 21, 2008, 06:47:25 PM »

Well, in this age, plagiarism is pretty easy for the little buggers.

canoftuna · « **Reply #3012 on:** March 21, 2008, 09:43:11 PM »

Quote

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog
makes just before it throws up.

That one did it for me.

Excellent find. Source?

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3013 on:** March 21, 2008, 10:57:31 PM »

it was sent to me via email from a co-worker. where she got it and whether they're from actual essays, i don't know.
a few more i've stumbled across:

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

BizB · « **Reply #3014 on:** March 22, 2008, 08:09:35 AM »

It's really unfortunate that nobody realizes that the majority of those are similes, not mataphors.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3015 on:** March 22, 2008, 01:17:15 PM »

i noticed, but posted it in its entirety as it was sent to me. my intent was to provide a chuckle or two; where it came from or what it's made up of is irrelevant, in my opinion.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3016 on:** March 23, 2008, 05:16:24 PM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kALi0iDMpc

my best friend's "little" brother- i've known the kid since he was a year old. he's going to be so frickin' famous someday!

Tprime · « **Reply #3017 on:** March 23, 2008, 08:02:08 PM »

Just be sure he don't end up like Barry.
BARRY SMASH!

12AX7 · « **Reply #3018 on:** March 24, 2008, 01:44:20 AM »

Disoriented, or disorientated? I learned "disoriented", and have always used that, so "disorientated" sounded like a misspoken word. Imagine my suprise to learn they are both real words.
"Disorientated" sounds like "broke-tified" or something like that.

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3019 on:** March 24, 2008, 04:29:09 AM »

Quote from: 12AX7 on March 24, 2008, 01:44:20 AM

Disoriented, or disorientated? I learned "disoriented", and have always used that, so "disorientated" sounded like a misspoken word. Imagine my suprise to learn they are both real words.
"Disorientated" sounds like "broke-tified" or something like that.

Disorientated is a word?

I cannot find it in encyclopedia britannica online or webster's online. I googled it and only found a wikipedia reference to it, but the entry didn't look trustworthy.
The thesaurus entry I found for it had it labeled as "slang" for "disoriented".
Every time I searched for "disorientated", it asks me, "Do you mean 'disoriented'?"

Nope, can't find any professional proof that disorientated is more than a commonly mispronounced/misspelled word. (Of course, that is how we ended up with 'fuck', so you never know.)

canoftuna · « **Reply #3020 on:** March 24, 2008, 04:59:55 AM »

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/6425/
I think I just died from the sheer awesomeness of this.

And some pictures for those too lazy to look themselves:

About to order it. Well, as soon as I can figure out where I would put them.

12AX7 · « **Reply #3021 on:** March 24, 2008, 05:10:06 AM »

Quote from: Wunderkind on March 24, 2008, 04:29:09 AM

Nope, can't find any professional proof that disorientated is more than a commonly mispronounced/misspelled word.

That's what I was expecting as well. I didn't believe it was a real word.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/disorientated

dis·o·ri·en·tate /dɪsˈɔriənˌteɪt, -ˈoʊr-/ [dis-awr-ee-uhn-teyt, -ohr-]
–verb (used with object), -tat·ed, -tat·ing.
to disorient.
[Origin: 1695–1705; dis-1 + orientate]
—Related forms
dis·o·ri·en·ta·tion, noun
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006

12AX7 · « **Reply #3022 on:** March 24, 2008, 05:17:14 AM »

Quote from: canoftuna on March 24, 2008, 04:59:55 AM

About to order it. Well, as soon as I can figure out where I would put them.

Make sure you don't get arrested and charged for placing those 'suspicious objects' in random places. You'll be labelled a "guerilla decorator" or something like that and be fined. Finer than you already are.

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3023 on:** March 24, 2008, 05:19:36 AM »

Quote from: 12AX7 on March 24, 2008, 05:10:06 AM

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006

Ah. I see now. We won't go into my fierce hatred of Random House. I'll save that for the Flamer's Corner.

That being said,

thus is the evolution of language. However, I agree with you. Disorientated is the most awkard word I've ever pronounced, it's like saying evict-icated.

(Or uniquer... U'-ni-ker... uniquer... )

dcrog · « **Reply #3024 on:** March 24, 2008, 06:59:45 AM »

Quote from: Wunderkind on March 24, 2008, 04:29:09 AM

Disorientated is a word?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/disorientated

To disorient. Past tense.

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Author Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 934665 times)

12AX7

12AX7

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