Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 934726 times)

Dark Shade · « **Reply #3225 on:** April 26, 2008, 04:54:56 AM »

Oh, I got it. I was just attempting to bring 'teh funnay'.

Evidently I failed.

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3226 on:** April 26, 2008, 06:14:15 AM »

I got it Dark Shade, and I laughed.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3227 on:** April 26, 2008, 07:48:04 PM »

any takers?

http://www.gumtree.com/london/55/22945155.html

dcrog · « **Reply #3228 on:** April 26, 2008, 08:07:10 PM »

Quote from: Dark Shade on April 26, 2008, 04:54:56 AM

Evidently I failed.

No you didn't.

But I'd like to tour it one of these days.

Novice · « **Reply #3229 on:** April 27, 2008, 01:30:48 AM »

I can hear my hair growing . . .

12AX7 · « **Reply #3230 on:** April 28, 2008, 01:07:53 AM »

lol...

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3231 on:** April 28, 2008, 01:09:45 AM »

Apparently, we are.

BizB · « **Reply #3232 on:** April 29, 2008, 01:23:45 PM »

Every year, just AFTER they do the employee evaluations and raises, they release the internal employee satisfaction survey. Because nobody believes that the survey could make a difference, it's tough to get people to participate.

The survey is called "Look Inside"

Every year, for the month before the survey goes live, we get daily reminders via email and posters and yatta-yatta telling us that the survey is coming up.

I just made my own little reminder on my buddy's whiteboard...

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3233 on:** April 29, 2008, 03:36:26 PM »

That reminds me of this....

Min · « **Reply #3234 on:** April 29, 2008, 04:25:07 PM »

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3235 on:** April 29, 2008, 04:53:34 PM »

If I'd had just a little more time at my last job, I would have been able to suggest that as the name for that app (it was something we were developing in-house for time and project tracking and accounting and billing and stuff).

I'd already gotten them to call a stupid project status report they made developers fill out for clients a "TPS Report" (it stood for "Team Project Status Report").

I even fed the idea to one of the project managers there notorious for taking other peoples' ideas and suggesting them as if they were his own, so it didn't even look like it came from me.

I was maneuvering to do the same thing with the G.O.A.T.S.E. application, but I got a job offer for my current job and just didn't have enough time to get it in there before my last day.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3236 on:** April 30, 2008, 11:08:28 AM »

i had a lunch date today, and dude bailed last-minute. guys stink.

now my gay friend, jason, and i are going on a date instead. i've prettied myself up already, so why waste it?

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #3237 on:** April 30, 2008, 01:12:15 PM »

It's not like you were going to put out at lunch anyway.

Were you?

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #3238 on:** April 30, 2008, 03:49:20 PM »

that really depended on where he would've taken me.

dcrog · « **Reply #3239 on:** April 30, 2008, 04:04:56 PM »

Soooo. The dining room at Motel 6 could be a yes.

12AX7 · « **Reply #3240 on:** April 30, 2008, 04:45:38 PM »

It's an email text, yes, but it's funny:

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
____________________________________________________________
#1- ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________________
#2- ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________ ____________________
#3- ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
#4- ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
#5- ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
#6- ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
#7- ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________
#8- ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
______________________________________
#9- ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
______________________________________
#10- ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None..
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
#11- ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
#12- ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
#13- ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
#14- ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
#15- ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
#16- ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
#17- ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
#18- ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

violet34 · « **Reply #3241 on:** April 30, 2008, 05:28:50 PM »

I've decided I'm never going to eat school pizza again- it makes my stomach feel TERRIBLE.
and I want to make it a public announcement since I was near puking on the dude who sits next to me in math. yayyy

Wunderkind · « **Reply #3242 on:** May 01, 2008, 11:34:58 PM »

Quote from: violet34 on April 30, 2008, 05:28:50 PM

I've decided I'm never going to eat school pizza again- it makes my stomach feel TERRIBLE.
and I want to make it a public announcement since I was near puking on the dude who sits next to me in math. yayyy

You know, this kind of reminds of this old story my great aunt used to tell about the vulture and how he got a bald head. I'll spare you the actual details, but the moral of the story is to learn to not eat it if it makes you sick.

Are they still serving pizza in schools? I thought the health wing-nuts had knocked that business out. I guess, only in my county.

EDIT: I am posting after 48 hours of being awake, there is a good possiblility that this makes little to no sense, is completely unrelated or is just weird, but at this time, I can't tell.

pickled kitten · « **Reply #3243 on:** May 02, 2008, 05:21:12 PM »

preping for a nice long relaxing weekend while the BF is getting his chemo treatment in dallas!

I know it's weird of me to be so happy but honestly the past two weeks have been exhausting so it's nice to have a few days to myself and not have to worry about taking care of him.

I plan on taking some awesome pics around town and jaming out with my room mate's bassist for a while....possibly even grilling up some steaks for the band on saturday so we can get our drink on with good food before we play some rock band. (apparently rock band is funner to practice than their real instruments...Weird Tingly Feeling?)

Novice · « **Reply #3244 on:** May 05, 2008, 12:10:56 AM »

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HQCkNo0qfgY

Suitemate*

xolik · « **Reply #3245 on:** May 05, 2008, 11:19:41 AM »

- "Hey, Xolik, you know what today is?"

- "Catch up Monday? You know since I missed work all last week and I have a crapload of work to do."

- "No, It's Cinco de Mayo! What are you going to do to celebrate?"

- "Nothing. I'm not Mexican. Today isn't special to me. Come back on July 4th."

- "Racist."

- "Yeah, that must be it."

Sometimes I really hate my coworkers.

BizB · « **Reply #3246 on:** May 05, 2008, 11:22:17 AM »

Ha! I'm eatening Taco Bell just as an FU to Mexican food.

pickled kitten · « **Reply #3247 on:** May 05, 2008, 12:44:59 PM »

pfft....I'm going to make enchiladas for dinner and down some tequila with my room mates.

Socrates · « **Reply #3248 on:** May 05, 2008, 01:13:24 PM »

Quote from: xolik on May 05, 2008, 11:19:41 AM

- "Hey, Xolik, you know what today is?"
- "Catch up Monday? You know since I missed work all last week and I have a crapload of work to do."
- "No, It's Cinco de Mayo! What are you going to do to celebrate?"
- "Nothing. I'm not Mexican. Today isn't special to me. Come back on July 4th."
- "Racist."
- "Yeah, that must be it."

Sometimes I really hate my coworkers.

You could have told them you were going to eat some Asian.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #3249 on:** May 05, 2008, 07:24:19 PM »

We're having lumpia tonight.

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Author Topic: The Apparently Necessary Random Stuff Thread (Read 934726 times)

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12AX7