Topic: The All New Joe Sixpack Please Crush My Dreams Thread (Read 11944 times)

Demosthenes · « **on:** May 27, 2008, 12:56:50 PM »

Needed to be done.

BizB · « **Reply #1 on:** May 27, 2008, 01:55:40 PM »

GREAT BORIS YELTSIN!

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #2 on:** May 27, 2008, 03:49:51 PM »

For the young'uns, this is all about me shitting on everything that's good in your life.

For example, how Spurt's new "awesome" tattoo only draws attention to how skinny and feminine his leg is, or how some guy's dream date to the prom was going to give him the herpes.

So if you you are getting a bit too big for your breeches, this is the thread for you.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #3 on:** May 27, 2008, 04:00:08 PM »

Okay, I'll start.

I've started losing some of the weight I've put on over the past few months.

The_FOO · « **Reply #4 on:** May 27, 2008, 04:19:10 PM »

Quote from: Demosthenes on May 27, 2008, 04:00:08 PM

Okay, I'll start.

I've started losing some of the weight I've put on over the past few months.

Too bad you're still bald.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #5 on:** May 27, 2008, 04:28:09 PM »

Is it in your pants?

No, but seriously, I'm worried about you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetes#Signs_and_symptoms
That's right. DIABEETUS. These days it's fully treatable. You could be just like role models such as Delta Burke, Bret Michaels, and James "Buster" Douglas, but only if you see your doctor. (For Bret Michaels it means you will be a doughy has-been shilling the last shreds of your dignity on VH1, not that you will make your own porn with Pamela Anderson).

Besides, no one will respect your moderating wisdom if you don't look like The Buddha anymore.

Min · « **Reply #6 on:** May 27, 2008, 09:00:37 PM »

I'm getting married in 74 days. The only dreams that get crushed there are the dreams of you guys!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Alright Joe....1-2-3 GO!)

The_FOO · « **Reply #7 on:** May 27, 2008, 09:21:38 PM »

We know where you live! We'll be there to sabotage the ceremony. Don't you worry about that.

TheJudge · « **Reply #8 on:** May 28, 2008, 06:57:59 AM »

Think you're getting some fancy dinner? I'm secretly swapping all the food with buckets of poutine. Well... I guess it's not a secret anymore.

BizB · « **Reply #9 on:** May 28, 2008, 07:50:28 AM »

Hey Joe,
I'm going to Baltimore this weekend to see my girlfriend and take in an Orioles vs Red Sox game!

TheJudge · « **Reply #10 on:** May 28, 2008, 08:08:18 AM »

And after that, they're having sex.

Was that inapropriate? Because I don't really care.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #11 on:** May 28, 2008, 08:30:59 AM »

Quote from: Detta on May 27, 2008, 09:00:37 PM

I'm getting married in 74 days. The only dreams that get crushed there are the dreams of you guys!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Alright Joe....1-2-3 GO!)

You're getting married in 74 days. If I was this "Enrique" fellow (if that is his real name... sounds like a name I would make up if I wanted to sound more suave) I might find it a little creepy that you are counting down the minutes. Well, I wouldn't - I would look at it as a sign of your devotion and a countdown to the honeymoon - but normal people should find it creepy.

Hope you signed a pre-nup. Hotter chicks than you have been married just for half their NASCAR swag.

BizB · « **Reply #12 on:** May 28, 2008, 08:42:09 AM »

Quote from: TheJudge on May 28, 2008, 08:08:18 AM

And after that, they're having sex.

I don't think the Red Sox and Orioles will be havening sex. And, if they do, I don't think I'll have anything to do with it.

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #13 on:** May 28, 2008, 09:35:57 AM »

Quote from: BizB on May 28, 2008, 07:50:28 AM

Hey Joe,
I'm going to Baltimore this weekend to see my girlfriend and take in an Orioles vs Red Sox game!

There are multiple things wrong with this statement. You're going to Baltimore on purpose. You're going to watch baseball on purpose. And girlfriends usually live far away for a reason.

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #14 on:** May 28, 2008, 02:52:44 PM »

Quote from: BizB on May 28, 2008, 07:50:28 AM

Hey Joe,
I'm going to Baltimore this weekend to see my girlfriend and take in an Orioles vs Red Sox game!

say hi to my sister if you see her there!

BizB · « **Reply #15 on:** May 28, 2008, 02:57:51 PM »

Is she having sex with the Orioles and Red Sox?

The_FOO · « **Reply #16 on:** May 28, 2008, 04:50:39 PM »

Quote from: BizB on May 28, 2008, 02:57:51 PM

Is she having sex with the Orioles and Red Sox?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

ydnamtnediserp · « **Reply #17 on:** May 28, 2008, 05:17:32 PM »

Quote from: BizB on May 28, 2008, 02:57:51 PM

Is she having sex with the Orioles and Red Sox?

just the orioles. her boyfriend's making it with the red sox.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #18 on:** May 29, 2008, 01:38:26 AM »

Min · « **Reply #19 on:** May 31, 2008, 11:01:00 PM »

Quote from: Joe Sixpack on May 28, 2008, 08:30:59 AM

You're getting married in 74 days. If I was this "Enrique" fellow (if that is his real name... sounds like a name I would make up if I wanted to sound more suave) I might find it a little creepy that you are counting down the minutes. Well, I wouldn't - I would look at it as a sign of your devotion and a countdown to the honeymoon - but normal people should find it creepy.

Hope you signed a pre-nup. Hotter chicks than you have been married just for half their NASCAR swag.

That's all you've got? You've lost your edge, old friend.

And of course his name isn't Enrique. That's just what I call him on the internet.

TheJudge · « **Reply #20 on:** June 02, 2008, 06:45:27 AM »

Is his real name Roberto? Or perhaps Eduardo? Ricardo? Pepito? Ricco? Anthonio, Angelino? I'm sure it ends with an "o"!

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #21 on:** June 02, 2008, 09:00:14 AM »

Quote from: TheJudge on June 02, 2008, 06:45:27 AM

Is his real name Roberto? Or perhaps Eduardo? Ricardo? Pepito? Ricco? Anthonio, Angelino? I'm sure it ends with an "o"!

Peque[wierd wavy n]o

The_FOO · « **Reply #22 on:** June 02, 2008, 09:22:29 AM »

Senior Pen0r-O!

Joe Sixpack · « **Reply #23 on:** June 03, 2008, 04:36:01 PM »

Quote from: Detta on May 31, 2008, 11:01:00 PM

That's all you've got? You've lost your edge, old friend.

And of course his name isn't Enrique. That's just what I call him on the internet.

I know, I admitted it in some other thread. Getting old.

Demosthenes · « **Reply #24 on:** June 03, 2008, 05:04:18 PM »

You know, some say when you can't crush someone's dreams anymore, it's time to go live on the farm.

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