i guess it  all depends on your views of M$ jokes.....

Here's another few from the archives.....


Bill Gates and the CEO of GM were sitting together, having a friendly conversation.  Eventually, computers came up, prompting Billy-boy to make a comment on automotive technology....  "Ya know, if cars had progressed as fast as computers, we'd get 1,000 miles to the gallon, and never have any car-created pollution...".  In response, the head honcho of GM said, "Yea, that may be true, but would you really want your car to crash twice a day?"

and how about a really bad pickup line......

"Do you know the principal difference between conversation and sex?"
"umm... no."
"Then let's go upstairs and 'talk'."

and finally, if you're offended by Italian, Gay, or Jew jokes, then don't read the following...

A Gay, an Italian, and a Jew all die and are sent to purgatory.  Here, they were made an offer, "I will give you another chance to live, but on one condition.... you cannot indulge yourselves".  All 3 of them jumped at the opportunity to return to the land of the living, and agreed to not indulge themselves.  Upon returning to earth, they were hungry, so the iotalian suggested a liitle trip to a nearby bistro for some pasta.  They all sat down and began eating.  When the italian finished his plate of spaghetti, he politely asked if he could get another plate of it.  The waitress brought out the plate, and *poof!* the italian disappeared.  The gay and the jew then realized how careful they had to be.  After finishing their lunches and paying the bill, they walk outside, and begin to walk down the street.  The jew spots a crisp, clean $20 bill, and bends over to pick it up.  *Poof!* Gone just like the italian.... *poof!* and then the gay.

is it your kid, Detta?

i never said i wouldn't, i just wanted to know what was required to obtain....

Thinking if life could get much worse
everything seems so belak and gray
ready to give in, give up, but somehow i think
ready to live another day.
oh i sometimes feel that I am drowning, and others,
roaming just to get away, falling i feel like i am
Drowning, and in my struggle, i'll find a way.
ready to trust again, I think
or perhaps just broken down,
never want to open my eyes, to the ugliness abound
zoos have their cages, a prisioner of my own mind
every way my mind it rages, just want to leave it all behind

This is me, for now.

Those France jokes sucked. Yeah, the French may be sucking, but hey now.

and what of the long one?

well.... i'm not sure of the quality, but here are some quickies.....

Why are all the streets in Paris lined with trees?
A:  So the Nazi's can march in the shade

How many soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
A:  Nobody knows, it has yet to be done

What do you call 100,000 men with both their hands raised in the air?
A:  The French army

and one that's a tad late, but it's still good....

An Englisman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar, sit down, and each order a beer.  While they're waiting for the head on the beer to come down (the bartender was new at this) a fly landed in each of their beers, respectively.  when the Englishman saw the fly, he picked it out, and said, outraged, "Look at this, this isn't sanitary.... give me a fresh beer!".  Next, the scott went to his drink, and saw the fly.  Not being one to waste perfectly good booze, he removed the fly, and quietly drank his beer.  The irishman, upon seeing the fly that happened to land in his dring picked up the fly,and began shaking it over his mug, screaming "Cough it up ya bastard!"

why bother uncapping your modem?   just gimmie a good rig and a DSL line to connect 'er by....

umm.... rotgut.... i think what you've been posting could be concidered psychological warfare.... or more accurately, torture of those of us who feel like we're POWs while reading this thread. perhaps i'll get to see the trial for your war crimes on CNN sometime... or perhaps BBC America.

here's my submission, and if the feedback is decent, i might post more...

A pair of people working for the Gas company were making their rounds, and at the last street, they decided to race back to the truck.  They started from an old woman's house, with the truck parked at the other end of the block.  When they started running, a little old lady began to run after them, keeping pace fairly well with the 2 guys as they raced back to the truck.  when they had gotten to the truck, they saw the old lady coming up behind them, and asked her if she needed anything.  "No... i don't need anything, but i got worried when i saw a couple of gas men running as fast as you were from my house."

and one more for the road...

An old lady walked into a sex shop one day, and walked up to the checkout counter.  "Dddddoooooo yoooooou ssssssssell vvviiiiiiibraaaators heeeeeere?" she asked, politely.
The woman at the counter smiled and said "Of course we do, what are you looking for?"
The elderly woman said "Dddddooooo yoooooou sselllll vvvvvviiiibrators aaaabout tttthhhiiiiisss looooong?" as she held her fingers about a foot apart.  
The customer service representitve said "Why yes, we do...."
At the customer service woman's reply, the old woman asked "Hhhhhhooooooowwww doooooooooooooo yoooouuuuuu tuuuuuurn iiiiiiiiiiiit oooooooooooooooff?"

okay.... perhaps i should have checked the forums before browsing about.... so here it is... HI ALL!  and just to get it out of my system....

][ |2 l337 ]-[@xXx()|2.... p]-[3@|23!!!

()|<... that's out of my system now.

I am TerrorDronze, Dronze for short, named for the critters in RA2... you probably know what i'm talking about.  and remember.... the Geek shall inherit the Earth!

MOAB cluster bombs... hmm..... fill 'em with the most toxic substnce known to man (read "Spam") and let 'em explode all over their sandy streets.... the bi-products nd leakage alone will contaminate their water supply, land and air.  After that, make a couple of runs with napalm, so they choke on the fumes of the then-fried chemical weapon... :spam:

Them:  
Us:   :beer: