Topic: TD's meeting his biological father! (Read 5843 times)

TerrorDronze · « **on:** April 06, 2006, 12:21:59 PM »

Big news, all. I'm finally meeting my biological father face to face next friday. He and I have been talking on the phone since october or so, but i finally get to see him, face to face. It's a big thing for me, it's like a big gap in my history is being filled in. anyone have any advice for me, possibly? he and I get along alright, but i need something to prevent those long, awkward silences, or to break them.

TheJudge · « **Reply #1 on:** April 06, 2006, 12:29:46 PM »

Erm... What's the background story in a nutshell?

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #2 on:** April 06, 2006, 12:41:46 PM »

ummm.... in a nutshell, he and my mom met while they were both in college, he didn't really want to be there, and she was going through some difficult times... her father had passed on, if i'm not mistaken. they hooked up, and 9 months later, well, yea... anyways, he went back to his old girlfriend, and then joined the coast guard. contact between my mom and mike was sparse for a while, and until i got into contact with him, the most recent pic he had of me was 15 years old. He's never had any reservations in making contact, outside of not wanting to disrupt the family life that had already been established when my mom and stepdad got together. I've been trying, off and on, to make contact, and finally, one day this past october, i finally looked up his parents in the phone book, and took the first step, then i sent him a letter, he called me on the phone a short while later, and we've been talking ever since. i'm getting pretty close with the new grandparents, although the religion thing on their side of the fence has been kind of alienating, both for me and my biological father, who stopped practicing years ago. beyond that, i seem to get along okay with his sister, her husband, and their 2 kids, as well as his eldest daughter. I'm not sure what his wife thinks of me, the few brief times she and i have talked when i called them were kinda awkward at best. long winded, but, long story short, he and i have about 20 years to catch up on.

pbsaurus · « **Reply #3 on:** April 06, 2006, 12:52:12 PM »

Wow! Here's hoping it goes well.

TheJudge · « **Reply #4 on:** April 06, 2006, 01:12:50 PM »

Well there's not much advice I can give you other than to be yourself. I'm sure there will be akward moments. It's to be expected. But don't let them trouble you. Enjoy the opportunity but, not to sound negative or anything (because I'm actually supportive), don't get your hopes way up yet. Sometimes, these things don't always work out as expected in the long run, even if you have the best intentions. There are external factor at play on which both you and your father have little or no control over.

MISTER MASSACRE · « **Reply #5 on:** April 06, 2006, 01:15:14 PM »

Whoa, crazy.

Good luck n' all that.

TheJudge · « **Reply #6 on:** April 06, 2006, 01:15:22 PM »

Oh, and good luck of course!

hackess · « **Reply #7 on:** April 06, 2006, 01:57:51 PM »

Wow! Good luck.

sociald1077 · « **Reply #8 on:** April 06, 2006, 05:01:22 PM »

Good luck!!

Demosthenes · « **Reply #9 on:** April 06, 2006, 07:29:34 PM »

Quote from: TerrorDronze

ummm.... in a nutshell, he and my mom met while they were both in college, he didn't really want to be there, and she was going through some difficult times... her father had passed on, if i'm not mistaken. they hooked up, and 9 months later, well, yea... anyways, he went back to his old girlfriend, and then joined the coast guard. contact between my mom and mike was sparse for a while, and until i got into contact with him, the most recent pic he had of me was 15 years old. He's never had any reservations in making contact, outside of not wanting to disrupt the family life that had already been established when my mom and stepdad got together. I've been trying, off and on, to make contact, and finally, one day this past october, i finally looked up his parents in the phone book, and took the first step, then i sent him a letter, he called me on the phone a short while later, and we've been talking ever since. i'm getting pretty close with the new grandparents, although the religion thing on their side of the fence has been kind of alienating, both for me and my biological father, who stopped practicing years ago. beyond that, i seem to get along okay with his sister, her husband, and their 2 kids, as well as his eldest daughter. I'm not sure what his wife thinks of me, the few brief times she and i have talked when i called them were kinda awkward at best. long winded, but, long story short, he and i have about 20 years to catch up on.

Oh good fucking lord.

That's YOU

?

Crystalmonkey · « **Reply #10 on:** April 06, 2006, 08:20:10 PM »

Be yourself, it makes things easier if you aren't pretending to be someone else.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #11 on:** April 07, 2006, 03:48:22 AM »

Quote from: Demosthenes

Quote from: TerrorDronze
ummm.... in a nutshell, he and my mom met while they were both in college, he didn't really want to be there, and she was going through some difficult times... her father had passed on, if i'm not mistaken. they hooked up, and 9 months later, well, yea... anyways, he went back to his old girlfriend, and then joined the coast guard. contact between my mom and mike was sparse for a while, and until i got into contact with him, the most recent pic he had of me was 15 years old. He's never had any reservations in making contact, outside of not wanting to disrupt the family life that had already been established when my mom and stepdad got together. I've been trying, off and on, to make contact, and finally, one day this past october, i finally looked up his parents in the phone book, and took the first step, then i sent him a letter, he called me on the phone a short while later, and we've been talking ever since. i'm getting pretty close with the new grandparents, although the religion thing on their side of the fence has been kind of alienating, both for me and my biological father, who stopped practicing years ago. beyond that, i seem to get along okay with his sister, her husband, and their 2 kids, as well as his eldest daughter. I'm not sure what his wife thinks of me, the few brief times she and i have talked when i called them were kinda awkward at best. long winded, but, long story short, he and i have about 20 years to catch up on.

Oh good fucking lord.

That's YOU?

Now I gotta break out the cloth to wipe off the damn monitor again!

In all seriousness TerrorDronze, like the others have said: Be yourself. You've come a long way so far in trying to make contact, and this is the moment. The very best of luck to you, my friend.

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #12 on:** April 07, 2006, 10:50:47 AM »

I've been nothing but myself, and as i had said, he and I have been talking since October.... pretty much every weekend.

well, at least i can stop walking around asking everybody "are you my daddy?"

sorry, xolik.....

BizB · « **Reply #13 on:** April 07, 2006, 10:56:48 AM »

Quote from: TerrorDronze

I've been nothing but myself, and as i had said, he and I have been talking since October.... pretty much every weekend.

well, at least i can stop walking around asking everybody "are you my daddy?"

sorry, xolik.....

You are not my daddy! You are a SNORT!

xolik · « **Reply #14 on:** April 07, 2006, 01:57:08 PM »

Quote from: BizB

I had that book. He's looking for his mom, though, if I remember...

BizB · « **Reply #15 on:** April 07, 2006, 02:08:28 PM »

Yup. The book is called, "Are you my mother?" by Eastman. Same author as "Go Dog. Go!"

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #16 on:** April 08, 2006, 01:10:08 AM »

both were literary masterpieces of their time!

Dark Shade · « **Reply #17 on:** April 08, 2006, 02:13:47 AM »

Damn straight. I remember those books.

dcrog · « **Reply #18 on:** April 08, 2006, 12:51:27 PM »

Good luck TD.

To eliminate the awkward silences bring plenty of booze.

needles · « **Reply #19 on:** April 12, 2006, 09:11:30 AM »

i think i may have a simmilar experience in about 15 years, but from the other side.

good luck TD. i think just relaxing and going with the flow may help the first couple of times.

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #20 on:** April 12, 2006, 11:42:20 AM »

thanks much, needles....

but, why, might I ask, would you wait that long?

pbsaurus · « **Reply #21 on:** April 12, 2006, 02:44:36 PM »

Long legal story.

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #22 on:** April 12, 2006, 03:34:09 PM »

Well, they're on the road right now, and should be getting in tomarrow from Iowa. And we'll finally get to see eachother in person for the first time in a long-assed while. I'm psyched about it. here's hoping it all goes well.

edit:
i know they're on the way because they just called not 20 minutes ago.... i am so thrilled by all this finally coming together. and, there will be pics coming soon!

TerrorDronze · « **Reply #23 on:** April 16, 2006, 10:41:39 PM »

Well, after all is said and done, I must say, I can probably write a masters thesis on the whole nature versus nurture thing.... and it's a victory for nature. It really went quite well, and i've come to the realization that i'm not the only one with a doppelganger in that gene pool. Honestly, it's been a surreal weekend, to say the least. But, honestly, it wasn't at all awkward. I'm just hoping that I keep my hair. Pics coming soon.

Dark Shade · « **Reply #24 on:** April 17, 2006, 10:30:28 AM »

Glad to hear it TD. It's good to know that everything went well for ya. So, what was he like?

Edit - I'm quoted? What an honour!

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