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  • (January 12, 2023, 01:18:11 AM)

Author Topic: Generic commercial lines...  (Read 7677 times)

12AX7

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Generic commercial lines...
« on: April 08, 2008, 12:00:50 AM »
I've been watching some commercials, and I think I'm going to get in on these "testamonials" . It seems I could video myself in front of my studio wall (it's solid green) and -not holding any props- make various, vague statements about how fucking great this product is, and why I love it. Then, I could take these varied clips of my vague, but ernest testamonials and sell them.

"And here's another reason why ordering TODAY is a GREAT idea..."

"Since I've switched, everything's been FANTASTIC! I couldn't have hoped for better results!"

"Try it! You'll LOVE it!"

"Oh, I'm sold. This is all I use now; I got rid of all the others. It does it ALL!"

...anybody got any vague, but ernest testamonials?
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Novice

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2008, 12:04:48 AM »
"It just works."

Dramatic and convincing pauses where necessary.
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Wunderkind

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2008, 12:13:15 AM »
"It's so much better than anything I could've imagined. I reccomended it to all my friends."
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Chris

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2008, 01:26:52 AM »
Lacerda is a dude?
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TheJudge

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2008, 07:11:43 AM »
"This is a decision you won't regret"

"It will change your life"

"You'll wonder why you haven't done this 10 years ago"

"100% money back guarantee" (on this $30 which will cost you $35 in shipping fees should you chose to return it)

"You'd be stupid not to!"

"I've told everyone I know about this product. Now, my mon has one, my husband uses his, and the mailman still screws me on Mondays!"

*Look at me, I'm a celebrity! That's proof that it works!*


EDIT: *Look at me, I'm a washed up celebrity! That's proof that it works!*

"It's so EASY!"

"IT practicly works on its own"
« Last Edit: April 08, 2008, 07:15:53 AM by TheJudge »
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dcrog

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2008, 08:36:55 AM »
"Some settlement may occur due to shipping and handling".
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Old enough to know better.
Apparently not wise enough.

And who says with age come's wisdom?

BizB

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2008, 08:52:23 AM »
Quote from: dcrog on April 08, 2008, 08:36:55 AM
"Some settlement may occur due to shipping and handling".


Settlement... hehe
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TheJudge

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2008, 09:06:32 AM »
Best informercial - clixxorz moi
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MISTER MASSACRE

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2008, 09:44:48 AM »
Quote from: Chris on April 08, 2008, 01:26:52 AM
Lacerda is a dude?

For commercial purposes, this needs to be said with emphasis!

Lacerda is a DUDE?!?

Here are some mo':

"If it worked for me, it's statistically irrelevant as to whether or not it will work for you! We need a much larger sample group before drawing these kind of conclusions."

"My kids are happier than ever before! Well, at least they're expressing emotion again, which is a start."

"This is for a limited time only! Limited by how many of you suckers actually buy this crap."

"If you call in the next hour, you'll get this deal! We have no idea when the commercial is airing, but call in the next hour! Whatever hour that is."

"This is a purchase you won't regret! The neurotoxins seeping through the product into your brain will see to that."

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12AX7

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2008, 10:34:34 AM »
Quote from: Lacerda on April 08, 2008, 09:44:48 AM
"If you call in the next hour, you'll get this deal! We have no idea when the commercial is airing, but call in the next hour! Whatever hour that is."
I love those.

"And if you're one of the first hundred callers..." 
"If you order in the next ten minutes..."
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ivan

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2008, 10:41:27 AM »
Chicks dig me now.
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12AX7

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2008, 11:15:19 AM »
"Can you dig me now?"
</verizon>
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pbsaurus

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2008, 12:44:35 PM »
But wait there's more...
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sociald1077

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2008, 01:26:16 PM »
"Billy Mays here to tell you....."
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TheJudge

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2008, 01:27:39 PM »
don't settle for imitations! This genuine fake leather bag is it!
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BizB

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2008, 02:33:20 PM »
Wait!  Wait!  There's MORE!
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12AX7

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2008, 03:19:59 PM »
Quote from: BizB on April 08, 2008, 02:33:20 PM
Wait!  Wait!  There's MORE!
HA! Excellent. +1
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Pyrenus

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2008, 03:48:03 PM »
If *I* can do it, anyone can.
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Chris

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Re: Generic commercial lines...
« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2008, 07:50:38 PM »
Wait!  Wait!  It Gets BIGGER!
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